Escape from Hell
The flames burned around her as the minutes rolled by. She was in hell. Daggers spun in her direction, their eyes piercing her skin. Even as she breathed her small body moved cautiously. The fire was using up all her oxygen, she felt like she would suffocate. The devils red skin was hidden beneath perfect make up; the smiling lips spoke words so cruel she wished she had never been born. All she wanted was to escape. She tried to ignore the devil and its loyal subject's malevolent presence as she re-read the last paragraph on the Iron Age from her battered text book. But it was no good, she couldn't read out the blur of tears pooling in her dark eyes. She shut the book, packed her bag and was out the door before the bell had time to ring. Laughter echoed after her, the encounter with the devil and its minions had left the tell tale scorch of humiliation burned on to her cheeks.
Next was a free class, her only beacon of light in the dark depressing trench she called school. It was her chance to rest from the haze of dread and fear that merged into one continues nightmare. When she reached her desired destination, she let her stressed body sink into an uncomfortable chair, rested her head on her bony arms and closed her heavy lids. Sleep had eluded her last night, and every other for that matter, and even when she finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion, she was never at peace. Her dreams taunted and jeered her as much as everyone else seemed to. Hoping that this time her demons wouldn't follow her, she fell half-asleep listening to sounds around her. She could hear the photocopier; there was the familiar electric beep of the buttons, the crisp sound of the paper being prepared and the electric zap of the printing. She heard students shuffle into the class next door and listened to a teacher shout at the same student for the millionth time. She felt the familiar vibration of her phone in her pocket but she knew what it already said. It was a notification from facebook that the she was tagged in 'that' photo again. It would have another smart caption and again that dreadful picture would be on the top of everyone's newsfeed. Having everyone seeing her half naked mistake was the current joy of her life. She felt her body stiffen thinking of the likes that would be adding up as she sat here and cursed the guy who had taken it. She almost boiled with rage at Elena, the devil that had sent it to everyone's phone before making it viral. How could one mistake ruin her life so much?
Suddenly she felt a hand touch her shoulder, was she late for her next class? Surely she hadn't missed the bell? She opened her still tired eyes and was greeted with a new face.
"I didn't mean to disturb you, but I was wondering if I could borrow a pen?" his voice apologetic but his blue eyes dancing with animation all the same.
For a split second she didn't know what to do, she couldn't function. Maybe he was playing a trick, she'd give him the pen, then he'd remake that he'd catch HIV from her and throw the pen away in disgust, something like that; the usual. She reached hesitantly for her pencil case that was covered in the abusive chicken scrawl of her classmates and got out a pen. She handed him it and waited expectantly for the jibe to come from his soft lips. None came; instead he smiled and went back to work. She couldn't remember the last time someone had borrowed anything, or even made polite conversation. It was like she had leprosy. Everyone else avoided her at all cost. As his fingers kept erasing and re-writing the same line she studied him. His strong features were perfectly arranged and he was athletic, but not muscular, like a swimmer. She knew someone like him would never see anything in her, so instead she decided to focus on what he was working on. She squinted out her rectangular glasses and saw it was French, her best subject. She wanted to help him, at least engage with one other student before the day was out. She filled her lungs with air and held her breath.
"I can do that". She stated plainly, the words out her mouth before she could stop them.
She could feel her hands sweat as she watched his surprised face. She looked away quickly, her faced blazing red and her pulse quickening. She kicked herself mentally. Why had she even offered? Her entire body could feel him laugh silently at her expense. She peaked at him once again and instead found him smiling. Not meanly or vindictively, but instead like he was amused, as if she was forgetting something. She realised in that second that she hadn't actually offered to help. "Like I could help if you want," she blurted out.
"Sure, that would be fantastic, I'm Niklaus by the way but you can call me Nik," he held out his hand to shake, and then after a slightly awkward moment they got to work.
The next ten minutes were spent with her teaching him how to form the different tenses and how to add the different suffixes to words in French. As they worked the conversation flowed smoothly and they both didn't notice time was up until the bell rang. It was lunch next, another day, another horror. She expected him to turn away once they were in sight of the other students but instead he followed behind her in the queue for food. They continued to laugh and joke about random, meaningless things. She could feel herself smiling, for the first time in what seemed like decades.
As she reached for a drink she felt something grab her bag. For a minute she thought it was Nik. A montage from her favourite high school romance ran though her head before she realized; her life never seemed to work out like that. As she was dragged around she saw the devil's incarnation's red claws tearing her graffited bag.
"What do you want, Elena?" her voice was filled with false courage.
"Just thought I should inform your new boyfriend about your STD status," the lies spewed from crimson lips.
She looked away from Elena's face and, for a split second, locked eyes with Nik. His ocean blue eyes were now filled with pity. Suddenly she was infuriated. She didn't fucking need this. Not the pity or the cruelty. She had taken this abuse day after day. She didn't care anymore that everyone knew the details of that night, of her heart break. She didn't care that Elena's boyfriend had told her that he had broken up with Elena for her that day. She didn't care that she had slept with one guy and now the total of guys changed with the day, growing more and more exaggerated depending on who was telling the story. Right there and then, all she cared about was revenge. Revenge for everything, but most importantly, revenge for having to see the pity glistening in Nik's eyes. She felt her fingers fill with fury, aching for the queen minion's scarlet blood. As the eyes of the bystanders watched, she dived. It happened so fast. One second she was staring into Nik's pity filled eyes, the next a fistful of brown hair was entwined in her fingers. She felt something hit her across the face; Elena had grabbed a book off the floor. She tackled her to the ground in frenzy. All she could think of was the embarrassment and humiliation. She hit her, again and again. Her small fist beat into the stupid girl's stomach. She wanted her to pay, to feel her pain. Then a stabbing pain blinded her and she felt blood trickle down her face. Some one of the devils minions had pulled her hair, hard. She turned to see the entire school lined up around them. They were all ready to attack her, like hungry piranha. She couldn't do this. She couldn't be the one they ganged up on anymore. She couldn't be the one who no-one cared enough to help. Nik just stared in bewilderment at her like she was a freak. She couldn't do this, she had to get away. She burst through the wall of people and ran.
She ran though the city, the salt and water spilling down her cheeks, being traced with black mascara. She kept running until she reached the place. It was a rusty old apartment block, she climbed the damp stairs. She was so hot from fleeing that she flung her shoes and jumper off and threw them in the corner before opening the fire escape at the top and sprinting across the roof. Using her hands she climbed onto the ledge, sat down and swung her legs over the edge. All she could think about was the escape. Her whole body craved for everything to be over. She wanted to finally sleep uninterrupted from guilt screaming at her. She didn't want the nightmares following her every step. She was just frozen there, imprisoned in her thoughts. She thought of the humiliation. She thought of that night. The way he said she was special, that her small statue was perfect in every way, and that she was beautiful. Before proceeding to take the picture and humiliate her. She remembered perfectly the day after, waiting for his call before realising it was only his hilarious prank. She remembered the stab of actual pain in her gut when her phone first buzzed with that dreadful image. She remembered the shame that seeped from her mother whenever they were out in public together, even if they were only in the car. She remembered Elena' first confronting her. She couldn't understand what she had done. They had broken up, or so she had thought. She remembered the months of guilt after. She remembered feeling like a whore, for sleeping around with another girl's guy. She hadn't known, she swore to herself. She knew that Elena was hurt and that was why she had sent the picture. Elena had done it out of anger; at least she could comprehend that. But she couldn't understand why he took the picture in the first place. It had all been a joke to him. How could he? She wiped a tear from her pale cheek, tidy a lose curl behind her ear and watched at the cars drive like toys around the dark city a street over. She thought of her family. Her dad had abandoned her; her mother was only concerned about work. She needed to escape. The thoughts danced in her head like a murderer with a knife.
Before she knew it, it was dark. She knew she had to do something. She slowly rose, until she was standing on the ledge. Her fragile feet were now cold against the jagged and crumbling concrete. There was blood on foot but she wasn't sure if she had actually cut herself, her whole body was so numb from the frozen air that she couldn't feel any physical pain anymore. She looked past her feet. The alleyway was dark, isolated. She wondered how long it would take anyone to find her body; would anyone even be able to recognise her? The building was thirty something floors; if she jumped to her left she knew that there would be no turning back. Her hand danced with impatience against her side, waiting for her to make up her mind. She could simply jump off the ledge to her right, out the fire escape, go home, face her mom, face the principle, face the pity and disgust from Nik, face the entire class ready to torture and try sort everything out. She was so exhausted emotionally and physically she didn't know if she had the strength for that. Or one jump to her left, everything was done, over, finally. Either way, she had to do something; she couldn't let this hell control her life anymore. Her phone rang, making her nearly fall in fright. She got it out and her shivering fingers glided over the glass screen and unlocked it to read the text. As she read she didn't know why, but a sad, terrible happiness hit her. At least she knew what to do. The decision was made, and she felt relived. She picked her side.
"Love, don't!"
She jumped.