SN: I have changed my name! Also I'm back from a long absent. This is a one-shot however, I got this while listing to music, when don't I get ideas from listening to music?
SN: Anywho! This is me so of course it's sad, and you should be able to figure out the pairing though. And it is my longest ever! Seven, 7,
SN: こおんいちわ I believe that is this - konichiwa
Tsuna's P.O.V.
Just be friends All we gotta do
Just be friends It's time to say goodbye
Just be friends All we gotta do
Just be friends Just be friends...
It was a Saturday afternoon and the sun was beating down and it was hotter than hell; even Reborn didn't want to go outside and torture- I mean train me. So instead he was up in my room napping and Mama went out shopping. So that basically left me and Gokudera by ourselves.
He came over because Reborn asked him to help me study for the upcoming finals and knowing Gokudera he jumped on the chance to spend time with me.
Gokudera was dressed in simple jeans, and t-shirt and I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt for that hot day.
I was sitting there reading the chapter out of the textbook and Gokudera was listing to music through his headphones or watching TV, it was hard to tell. His hand wondered over to mine, and I didn't think anything of it at that point; after all we were close friends.
"Although...he was my first true friend and he has always been there for me and will always be there when I need him,"but a voice inside of me argued, "He's just doing that because you're the Vongola Decimo. After all if weren't a mafia boss he wouldn't even pay a lick of attention to you." Shaking my head I tried to go back to studying.
It was hard to do with all these thoughts swirling in my head.
It came to mind in the early morning yesterday
As if I gathered broken pieces of glass
What the heck is this? Drips from my cut finger
Is this what we really hoped for?
Sighing I closed the textbook hopelessly, knowing I couldn't concentrate enough to learn anything. Gokudera looked over wordlessly. Looking up I blushed realizing Gokudera was watching me and I quickly looked down and closed my eyes, the blush fading by my sad thoughts.
"After all we'll just be friends..."
It felt as if there was an invisible red string tying us together and after all we went through the shattered chance of us ever getting together lay all around us as broken pieces of glass. And the only thing keeping us together was the thin, red string.
Gokudera's P.O.V.
The next week was like the last, too hot to train but not hot enough to study. I didn't mind helping Decimo, after all that's what I'm good for as his right hand man.
This time instead of the couch we were on the floor in his room because Reborn was napping on the couch.
On this day I wore simple pants and shirt and black jacket that I took off when I came in. While Tsuna wore and long t-shirt that looked like a dress on him coming down to his knees but there were shorts on under the shirt.
Earlier that day Kyoko and Hana were making flower necklaces and made one for me and Tsuna. I refused at first but with Tsuna telling me it would be fun, I couldn't say 'no' then. I put mine on and grabbed the one for Tsuna and put it on his head like a crown.
Sitting with one leg under the other and resting my hands on my knee I watched Tsuna silently. No longer listing to music, I placed my headphones on my lap.
I knew it at the bottom of my heart, the hardest choice would be the best
My self-love refuses it and repeats self-contradiction
When can I tell it to you?
Tsuna bookmarked his spot and closed his eyes taking a break, I assumed, although it looked like he was thinking.
"I know that these feeling I have for you aren't what I should have for a right hand man, but... I can't help it you became my first true friend Deci- no-... Tsuna. And those feeling grew..."
I knew things were changing between us and I guess Tsuna did as well. It felt as if there was distance between us and only one thing held us together and shattered fragment of what could have been remained lying all round us, taunting us.
In the slowly decaying world, I'm struggling but it's the only way
Carving your faded smiles, I pulled out the plug
I could easily tell that the smiles that you gave me strained and that once radiant smile you gave everyone has become faded through everything that we have done. Through your realization of what the real world is actually like.
A few hours later the sun was covered by rain clouds and the rain soon followed. Tsuna remained napping oblivious to what was happening around him. Kneeling next to Tsuna I held a rose I found on my way here. It was in full bloom but missing a stem. Standing I placed the rose into Tsuna's sleeping palm as I left out into the on pour.
"After all we'll just be friends..."
I screamed with my hoarse voice, rebound and resonance echo in vain
Nothing is left at the end of the unchained me
Coincidences that sticked us degenerates into the dark and are broken in pieces
No P.O.V.
Standing out in the middle of the street Gokudera looked up at the dark sky and covered his eyes. He screamed, screaming about everything he held inside that he couldn't get out, about his contradicting feelings, about everything he felt about Tsuna, about his role in the Vongola Family. At the same time thunder roared almost like the sky itself felt pity for him and tried to help Gokudera and he screamed until his voice became hoarse.
In his room Tsuna sat up suddenly, crushing the rose in his hand, as the thunder resounded around the room and then the lights flickered then went out. Staying where he Tsuna looked around realizing Gokudera had left. Lightning flashed lighting up his room for a split second. Tsuna covered his ear trying to block out the sound of thunder and the sound of his own doubtful voice in his head telling him the real reason Gokudera didn't stay and why he left.
Gokudera stood there when his voice could no longer carry any sound. He stood there as the rain soaked him to the bone. He stood thinking over things before he finally left.
Tsuna stood there at the window staring at the rain cover outside lost in though. He shivered from the cold before heading to bed.
Only two thoughts echoed on that dark night
"Just friends..."
"Just friends..."
"No matter what we do, life is just like that" I mumbled
Somebody's tears flow down the dried cheeks
Gokudera's P.O.V.
The next week wasn't as hot due to the constant rain all throughout the week, but Reborn said he had something else to do. So there was no training that day weekend either. I thought about studying again, but I remembered how Tsuna kept talking about the fair that he really wanted to go to.
So I asked if he wanted to go and he said yes. We both went in our school uniforms but Tsuna tied his hair back into a short pony tail. That was the first time in a long while I saw Tsuna smile and he actually mean it.
When we arrived they gave Tsuna a red balloon, but he realized that that was the last one he took my hand and we both held the balloon. And then I couldn't help but smiling as well. IU was happy as well like the distance between us has suddenly got a little bit closer.
But... I couldn't help but feeling like there still quite a bit of difference between us. Like I'm on one chair my hands are steeple like and that string is still ties around my finger but it has broke in half. And Tsuna is at the opposite chair facing away from me curled up with his head buried in his knee with his arms wrapped him his knees. And with him is the other half of the string.
Then I realize that we are still at the park stand there holding hand with the balloon between our palms.
After we had our fun at the fair we went home as it was getting late. Tsuna's Mama said she had to run out and get something and Reborn left with her.
All we gotta doJust be friends
It's time to say goodbye Just be friends
All we gotta doJust be friends
Just be friends Just be friends...
No P.O.V.
After Gokudera and Tsuna came home they went back to their studying, but first Tsuna went up and changed while Gokudera took off his jacket. He came back down wearing a t-shirt and shorts. It went back to Gokudera listing to music and Tsuna reading the textbook.
Gokudera was lost in thought when he realized something...he was in love with Tsuna. He also realized that no matter how he looked at it all he can be to Tsuna is his right hand man.
"No matter what we do, life is just like that" He mumbled to himself his eye wide with shock and both of his hand on his knees.
Tsuna was about to turn a page in the textbook when he heard Gokudera mumble something, looking up and taking a side glance at Gokudera. Tsuna saw tears gather in Gokudera's eyes. Looking at Gokudera with eyes wide also with shock and surprise, mouth slightly hanging open; Tsuna was frozen watching as a tear slid from Gokudera's storm gray eyes and down his cheek.
It was as if time had frozen at that moment. But one thing kept playing over and over in Gokudera's mind.
"All we got to be is just friends."
Yesterday a tranquil night made me realize
It'd be useless to pick up fallen petals
Because it'd never bloom again
It's tiny but already dead on my palms
Our time stopped long ago
Tsuna's P.O.V.
The next week was the same but the weather was perfect for the upcoming summer days. Gokudera dressed in gray jeans and a t-shirt with a jacket over it. Leaning on the arm of the chair Gokudera held a paper airplane as was the seat covered with a pile of them.
Although you couldn't see the string you could feel it, as if it was actually there. Like it was tied to Gokudera's finger and then the string traveled on the paper airplane strewn ground to where the other was tied to my finger.
I was wearing the overly large t-shirt with shorts under them again. I was sitting on another chair that face at from Gokudera. My knees were pulled up to my chest as my hands were placed on my feet one atop the other. I was staring off into space thinking about the first time we met.
I remember the season we met first and your grace smile
Bringing up old issues, we hurt each other as badly as possible
Our minds are full of thorns
I knew that talking about old times, about our old memories together would bring pain to both of us. Yet we never stopped talking about the nostalgia of our time together. I guess we both felt like if we were only meant to be friends and not try for something more we would punish our selves.
I still think back to the time when Gokudera took me out to the fair and the many colorful balloons scattered our feet, yet we both hold that on red balloon together.
Its so hard know that you can just about anything but the one thing absolutely want the most. It's like my life is taunting me or like Reborn is punishing me for not being strong enough. Sometime i wish i could just give up and be free to do whatever I want.
With this continuous dull relationship
Grievously I can't change my mind
I still love you, I don't wanna be apart from you, but I have to tell you
Standing I walked over careful to Gokudera. We just stand there staring at one and other. I know that all we ever had was dull compared to what I really want. He looks at me with confusion yet I still say nothing out loud.
"I love you Gokudera."
Eve saying it in my mind I know I can't change my mind. The one time I really need to be Dame Tsuna and instead I'm Decimo Tsuna. Why?
Gokudera's P.O.V.
Taking Tsuna's hand I stand there with my eyes closed knowing that Tsuna is staring at our connected hands with sadness.
Knowing what I'm about to do will change our relationship forever, but I've a long time to think about it and i can't take not telling him anymore.
Without realizing it I blurt out, "I love you!"
Looking up in shock, Tsuna's caramel eyes widened and he pulled his hands away. I stare at him with him staring back him mouth slightly ajar as if he wants to say something. His hand clenching where his heart is.
It's raining heavily in my mind, I'm stunned, I'm standing dead, my vision is blurry
Despite my determination, the pain is still penetrating
The bond between us has come apart and is dying away in everyday
I left. I ran away from Tsuna's house, knowing that we could never be together. No matter how much I want to and no matter how much it hurts not going back I know I can never go back as something more I can only go back as friend.
Now I go back to that time where were in school holding hands. Where there was no distance between us, and where the string tied us closely together. Now I'm standing there outside holding mine and Tsuna's balloon as I let it go just like I must let Tsuna go.
"Goodbye, my sweetheart."
Goodbye, my sweetheart, it's over
We have to leave without turning back
Tsuna's P.O.V.
I stand there awhile after Gokudera left. I see the mess that we made. Almost as if I been turned onto automatic I got my knees holding the t-shirt out for a makeshift basket I began to slowly gather the paper airplanes.
I was trying so hard not to cry, had to focus on picking the mess up. No matter what i did the tear came anyway, wiping them away with the back of my hand.
Realizing that it was useless to do this I stood up as more tears came no matter how many times I wiped them away.
Picking up the same paper airplane Gokudera was hold I went outside kissed it, opened my eyes and threw it. Watching it soar. I ironically I saw a red balloon saw must have let go.
Just once, just once, if I could have my wish to come true
I'd be born again and again and go see you on those days
Standing outside I looked up to the clouds and without knowing i saw Gokudera laying there like he does when he naps. His arm on his chest, the other arm stretched across his waist, and his hair tousled. The only thing different was the red string tied on this finger.
Now that I look back and think about all those wondrous moments we've had together. Like at the park and I was smiling like a dork at something you said and Lambo and I-pin were chasing each other. Kyoya and Murkuro were up in the tree napping.
Or like when Mama was out and it was raining really hard so you, Dino and Takashi stayed while I made dinner. And I wore Mama's light blue checkered apron and pouted because you guys were making fun of me.
Like when you let me listen to your music as the sun was going down and we outback. When you were teaching me guitar. So many memories flashed in my mind, from us in autumn to us in winter
I screamed with my hoarse voice, rebound and resonance echo in vain
Nothing is left at the end of the unchained me
The bond between us has come apart and is dying away in everyday
I stood there smiling at the happy memories including the one where we just laid opposite of each other so our head were close together as we listened to your ipod. I was playing with you silvery hair and you were playing my hair and we were just laughing and having a good time.
I remember when you and me were playing around you grabbed my hand and help up as you hid something behind your back and I tired to reach for it. Both of us laughing and having a good time.
Or like the time the sun was going down after we stayed at school for something and road us home on your bike. The sun set was so pretty glittering off the lake.
The one I love the most is the autumn fair. It was chilly put so wrapped up to keep warm. It was quite winter yet though so the trees we various shades of orange, yellows and reds. It was night and the moon was full. All the rides had glittering white lights that seemed glow.
You putting on a promise ring that you had won and you were smiling at me and I was smiling at you. I held my hand as close to me as possible because i treasured what you had given me.
Goodbye, my sweetheart, it's over
We have to leave without turning back
No P.O.V.
Gokudera was sitting on the couch staring at the textbook where Tsuna should have been. His eye wide with shock, he didn't know that Tsuna had left for Italy already.
That chair held the other end of the string but no one was attached to it. That ring was tossed to the ground and laid there in front of the couch.
Now the couch is empty.
It's all over