Lunacy 2: Welcome To The Dark Side
A normal day at Hogwarts, it seemed. It had been a month since The Incident, as Snape liked to call it. The Incident was spoken about to nobody, as none of the students nor his colleagues remembered any of it. Not very reassuring to Severus, but he quickly repressed it and went about as if nothing was wrong. The Weasley twins, however, had suspicious smirks on their faces whenever they caught sight of "their favorite potions master".
Later in the day, however, Snape had the misfortune of being summoned by Voldemort, more affectionately known as Marv. He sighed wearily and got up from his potion, a poison that causes death by tickle-attack (not a pleasant way to die, I assure you.) he swept out of his laboratory and made his way to the edge of the school grounds.
Severus apperated to Voldemort's hideout, making sure to straiten out his robes as he walked inside. As soon as he walked through the door to the Grand Ballroom he made sure to bow down low and mutter respectful praises. However, he froze when he spotted the bright pink floorboards…
Not again, he pleaded silently as he straitened up, never again.
Snape, however hard he tried to forget, still had nightmares about Dumbledore's office and MgGonagall's hair. His composure was tested as he looked around the room slowly. The interior design could quite possibly be described as chic, with a color scheme of white, pink, and red. Quite vulgar. Voldemort himself was wearing a blonde wig, skinny jeans and what looked like a fake bosom under a bright red sparkly shirt. Very MgGonagall-esque.
"I love the new furniture, my Lord," said Severus carefully, not knowing how Voldemort would react to it. However, Voldemort giggled and said, "You do? Yeah, Martha Stuart and I worked out a deal. I broke her out of Azkaban, she redecorated my 'evil lair'."
"Martha Stuart is a witch?" asked Severus.
"Duh!" exclaimed Voldemort, "How else would she be able to make such ah-mazing centerpieces? Talent?" He laughed scornfully and said, "Ok Death Eaters, time for the annual meeting!"
Some foolish man in the back (Probably Wormtail thought Snape) spoke up, saying, "Umm, sir, we don't have annual meetings."
"Jeez, you are so stupid Wormtail!" (I knew it) "I wanna have annual meetings, 'kay?"
Volemort adressed the rest of the crowd, saying, "First order of business…" He shuffled some pieces of parchment and continued, "…We have to decide whether we hire Justin Timberlake or Britney Spears for the potluck on Friday. Remember that A-G brings salad, H-P brings entrees, and Q-Z brings dessert. Oh, and the theme is Luau, so don't forget your cocoanut bras, people! Especially you, Lucy!"
Lucius Malfoy blushed while the others sniggered heartily. "My lord…" he began hesitantly.
Voldemort interrupted him, saying, "Oh, Lucy, 'The Dark Lord' is sooo last season. From now on, I shall be known as 'His Royal Highness', or HRH for short. Got it?"
The Death Eaters murmered their assent, and Vol-er, HRH nodded in satisfaction.
HRH clapped his hands together and said brightly, "Now, I've also decided that tonight, I will be hosting a sleepover! Only my most privleged Deaht Eaters will be able to come, so if I say your name, you're one of the lucky ones!"
He cleared his throat and listed off the names, "Avery, Nott, Goyle, Crabbe, Bellatrix, Lucy…" Here he stopped and blew Malfoy a kiss, "…Yaxley, Wormtail, Dolohov, Alecto, Amycus, Lestrange, and Severus."
Snape sighed. It was going to be a long evening.