Title: Nanao's Only Darling
Authoress: Seer M. Anno
Disclaimer: The characters belong to the incredible Sakuraga Mei. I own nothing but the story.
Rating: R
Pairings: Kuon Aikawa/Nanao Shirahane, OCs/Nanao Shirahane
Summary: Nanao loves Kuon, and Kuon loves Nanao. Even between the mass of deaths, they'll still love each other. All Nanao has to do is to say 'darling'.
Genre: Totally AU (even though timeline's post-Mujihi na Karada's chapter 4). Romance. Crime. A bit of gore. Tragedy.
Warning: Character Deaths, BL (slash), possible OOCness, mentality issues, infidelity, yandere!Kuon, a bit of crossdressing, OCs.
A/N: Written for Bad End Festival by Elpiji. And when I said bad, it'd be really bad. You've been warned. I was going to cross this with Tsumasaki ni Kiss by Fuwa Shinri (especially because Kouji Yusa-san played the ukes), but then I lost the idea *cries* so I give a bit of names reference. Inspired from my and retha_helena's old fic 'The Crying Blood Spell'. Hope you enjoy, and please don't kill me!
Nanao's Only Darling
Seer M. Anno
"What is the meaning of this?"
"…"
"Tell me! What happened?"
A long pause. Inhale. Exhale.
"Tell me!"
"I don't like you anymore."
Nanao Shirahane's phone vibrated, making the owner jump. He blinked when he saw the name and brought it to his ear.
"Hello?"
There was no response but a small whisper of, "Meet me tomorrow."
"I told you to—"
"Please, Nanao-san. I'll text you the pla—"
Nanao sighed and closed the connection. After a glance at the still dark window, he sighed once again. It's too early, damn it!, he mentally cursed. Placing the phone back on the nightstand, he stood and walked to the bathroom.
"Huh, of course I'll be there," he muttered to himself as he stepped into the bathtub, now filled by warm water. "It's Aikawa."
His phone vibrated once again, signaling the owner that a text message had just arrived. As much as he tried his best to ignore it, he'd be there, as usual.
Kuon Aikawa sat on his usual bench, staring at the ground. This night was cool, and he tightened his fluffy-trimmed jacket as he kept waiting. Waiting for what, he didn't know. He wasn't sure he knew what he was waiting for. He wasn't even sure that what he was waiting for would come or not. But he had waiting for love for such a long time, waiting for this wasn't that bad.
Suddenly, he heard a faint vroom of a car. He nodded in satisfaction and stood.
The car took a while to park and when Kuon saw a figure coming out of the car, he smiled. He couldn't help but to smile. He loved it every time the person walked towards him.
"You don't know how shocked I was when I heard it in class," the person said, almost in a scolding tone.
"Are you happy I did that?" Kuon replied. His hand caressed the other's cheek in a loving manner. It'd been so long, he missed this man.
"Are you?"
Kuon didn't answer; he merely stared at the light blue dress and a pair of stilettos the other wore.
"High heels, Nanao-san?" Kuon asked. "You wearing dresses are creepy enough for me."
Nanao merely smiled. "You know you love this," he teased. "And besides, these are stilettos."
"You know I love you for you."
"Yet you never stopped me and Aneki from doing so," Nanao laughed, mentioning his older sister. At Kuon's grimace, he laughed even louder. "Alright, alright, let's go. Why don't you let me help?"
Kuon placed a kiss on his lips, which led into a short but heated snogging session. "You told me not to," he panted as he parted away, "and I think I've told you to be more selfish."
"But now I want to."
"No. Everything's under control."
"Don't you always?"
"You're here because I know you'll like it." Kuon gave his hand, which the other took.
"I love it, but not as much as I love you." They walked into the forest, hand in hand. Kuon's hand gripped the flashlight tightly as he made sure the path wasn't going to make Nanao slip. He had to admit high heels made him look prettier when he was used to see it, but that wasn't the point.
"We're here."
Kuon sat down and let the other person clung onto his arm. They stayed in silence, only stared at the ground in front of them. Kuon had put some oil lamps so their surroundings weren't so dark, and thanks to the full moon, they could see pretty well.
"You know, Aikawa…" Nanao whispered. "You don't really need to do this if you don't want to. Just because I told you to, doesn't mean—"
"I don't think I need to explain more," Kuon answered mechanically. They had being in this situation more than once, but Kuon knew Nanao had insecurity issues which couldn't be fixed overnight. But Kuon would do anything for his love and both of them knew it. "I don't want to see you going on and on with that pathetic side of yours."
Nanao was silent for a long time. "Since… the… those incidents, I realize that you're the only one for me."
"Hm." Yet you still leave me hanging, after what I've done for you, Kuon thought, but he decided not to say it. He hated arguing in such a peaceful time.
"Your get-up-and-go attitude never ceases to amaze me. Thank you for today, Aikawa, I'm so happy."
"I know. I love you."
"I love you too, darling. I won't stop loving you."
Kuon blushed (which was a very rare sight) at the sappy words, and Nanao laughed before giving him a peck on the cheek. They looked away from the ground and now were staring at the beautiful moon and the starry sky. After everything that had happened, this was enough for a date for them.
Buried far beneath the two lovebirds, there were three books.
"I love you!"
"I—"
"I'll do everything for you, and you know that!"
"You've done it." A pause. "I know why you did that."
"That pervert hurt you! Broken things between us! But he's gone, so why can't you come back to me?!"
Another pause, and rustling sound. One showed an article to the other, which was found in the nearest dustbin. "After this, you think I can rest and come back to you?"
"They discontinue the case?" The question was asked in a very disbelieving tone.
"Yeeeesss," the answer was long and sad. "Listen. I know you're still thinking I'm a lowlife who sleeps with everyone—"
"I'm not!"
"I know it's in your head." Before the other had the chance to object, the 'lowlife' continued. "Please listen to me. I love you, but I can't come back to you. "
"I have no intention of letting you go!"
"You've told me that," a tired, sad sigh. "I've let go of you since Sensei touched me."
"Don't you believe me? Don't you love me at all?"
Silence, but then the response came. "Not yet. I can't say it now. Not yet. You can't help me now, these people can. Not now."
"Then I'll leave you alone." Inhale… the smell of medicine was everywhere.
"You know you can't do that. Or you wouldn't have done that to Sensei."
A swift pull and a forced kiss which left them panting minutes later. "I swear, I'll kill anyone who touches you, I will!"
As one of them took his leave, the other smiled from the small window. "I know, darling," he said, smiling a very cold smile, hardened by the incident that had changed their lives forever. "Sorry for making you worry, but I can use your word…"
Six Years Later…
"I'm sorry to bother you in such an hour, Shima-san, but something happened."
"Can't even have a proper sleep at night, can we?" Detective Touji Shimazaki rolled out of his bed, careful not to wake his lover. The voice from his fellow detective was heard from his phone, which he kept closely on his ear. He glanced at the clock. 2 AM. Oh, well. "Wait for me, I have to change."
A while later, he was ready. Taking a deep breath and muttered 'occupational hazard', he bent down to his sleeping lover and placed a kiss on his head. His lover wriggled a bit, but didn't wake up. Touji took another deep breath, feeling grateful that his lover finally could get some good sleep.
"Gotta go," he whispered before walking out the room.
"Her name's Haruna Ninomiya. Twenty six years old." Touji nodded at the description. His eyes scanned the bloody bathtub. "Her mother heard someone broke into her house, and then she found this."
"Night bath?" Touji asked as he touched the still warm bathtub.
"Yes, Shima-san. Apparently it's her habit. She's most probably killed in here and her body was taken away from the window. We found a trace of blood outside, leading to the street and then it's gone."
"Well then. I'm also thinking the same. Where's her mother?"
"Rin has her. She needs some time, but Rin'd asked her to tell everything once she's calmed down."
"We all know about persuading a victim's mom." He said, and his fellow nodded, both admitting how hard it was to do such a thing. He made a mental note to tell Rin about her excellent persuasive trait. "Any evidence?"
"We took the blood sample for now, but nothing more that points to the culprit."
Touji took several deep breaths. He knew things like this had been in his job description, but when he saw Haruna's photos in the living room as he left the house, he just couldn't think who had the guts to do something to such a lovely woman. He groaned, realizing that he needed more drink to calm his aching head.
Several days later, Touji found the body. Her ex-neighbor recognized her bracelet when she saw it lying on the street when she was doing her morning jog. Feeling suspicious, she called the police and a sweeping was done. Touji sent the body for autopsy, and received the files several hours later.
"Blunt force trauma on the head," he read aloud, "Beaten."
He picked up the photos of the bathtub and stared at it. There was a large crack on the side, where Haruna should've been putting her head on. It was understandable that her mother didn't notice it in her panic of finding her daughter missing.
"Her head was smashed against the bathtub," Rin Takahashi, his partner, looked from behind him. "Then bleeding to death before the killer took her body. She had no time to scream because water got into her lungs."
"Smashing heads? The killer apparently wanted some intimate touches in there. So he was probably someone she knew," Touji inhaled and put the photo onto the table. "Did she have any enemies?"
It was Rin's turn to pick up files from her desk. "Hm…no. Her friends came here voluntarily yesterday, and she was a really sociable girl."
"What about her family background, Rin?"
She handed him a file. "Her parents run a successful construction company, one of the biggest around Japan. Ever heard of Ninomiya Constructions?"
"I know I've heard the name somewhere," Touji said in satisfaction. "Many enemies, I guess."
"Yep." Rin sat on her chair, sipping her coffee. "Like you said, they really have many of them, especially after their forbidden building project, which was opposed by many people."
Touji listened intently as his partner recited the old news about 'Ninomiya's Forbidden Project' (that was how people called it) which had enraged many people since it had been built on people's abandoned grounds. The project of building an apartment was finally stopped because of it, but six months later it was restarted, and this time it had no mercy.
"Do you think it's her parents' enemy?"
"Everything's possible," he finally commented. "Have you seen the photos? I haven't."
"Of course. I've seen it first, even," she handed him the photos inside a clear plastic bag. "But let me tell you, it's not beautiful, Shima-san."
"Since when my job offers beauty?" Touji asked, mocking cheerfulness. Rin only grinned. He took one of the photos along with the photo of Haruna and her friends, making a comparison between the two. His eyes widened suddenly.
"The killer practically cut all her hair." Rin said, almost tonelessly, from her desk.
Late at night, Touji found himself leaning against his lover. He slowly stroked his lover's dark hair as they kept watching the drama on TV. He wasn't paying any attention to the show, and neither did his lover, but they stay quiet, letting only the fighting couple's voices around the dim room.
"Ne, Touji… there's a murder, right?"
Touji couldn't help but to smile. "You know it."
"Of course. You can tell me everything, though."
"I don't want to make nightmares on you again."
His lover laughed and sat up, staring deeply at him. "You're too nice. Tell me."
"No."
But after a minute of listening to his lover's whines, Touji gave up. He'd never refuse what his lover wanted, especially when he saw those dark, teasing eyes. "Fine. This girl, Ninomiya-san, was found this morning."
"Any fingertips or hair or something?"
Touji laughed a little. His detective instinct was definitely rubbing on his lover. "No, sadly."
"Just like them," suddenly his lover whispered, and Touji realized that he had done something bad. This was why he didn't want to tell his lover about the cases he was working on. "No trace, no, no, no trace just like them. Noooooooooo nonononono…"
"Hey," he called, kneeling in front of his lover, who began to shake. "I'm here. Hey. I'm here." He repeated the words over and over until his lover snapped out of it.
"Sorry. I think I've gotten over it but… I'm so sorry for this. Sorry."
"It's okay." He stood and turned off the TV. "Both of us need to rest."
His lover sighed and followed him into the bedroom. Hours later, when Touji woke up from the screams, he was ready to calm his lover down.
A week later…
Ever since Kuon moved out from his childhood home, he almost never went around the place. Especially after what had happened, he realized that he didn't really want to. Sometimes he visited Nagahisa, his aniki, his older brother, who had also left their house. But Nagahisa also didn't live around here anymore, so there was no reason for Kuon to visit this neighborhood.
But today was special. He was supposed to meet Nanao around their neighborhood. After they had broken up thanks to Satonaka-sensei, which had broken Nanao a bit too much to be fixed, they almost never met. Kuon was really grateful they still stayed friends. That was probably the best way for him to keep having Nanao, especially around times like this.
Like what was said before, today was special. Kuon just—and really—wanted to see Nanao today. He still remembered the way to his house, a big white one, even though it had changed. He saw Nanao standing across the street, looking as beautiful as ever. He was wearing a blue button-up shirt and jeans, which looked like one he had worn when they were still in college, years ago.
"Nanao-san," he greeted slowly.
"Aikawa." Nanao-san was smiling, just as gently, as sweetly as he used to be. "Fancy some drink? C'mon. I'll pay."
Kuon didn't answer, but Nanao-san had walked towards his car. There was no way Kuon would say no, so he followed the shorter man into the car.
"So," Nanao stared at his ex-boyfriend behind his glasses. "How're you doing?"
"Fine," Kuon sipped his own drink. "I heard you're having a good time."
Nanao merely smiled, but Kuon could notice a dark look over his eyes. "You can say that. Oh, look at this."
Kuon took it with interest. His icy features became even harder once he saw the headline. "It's about Ninomiya-san's murder," he said flatly, giving it back to Nanao. "I've seen it this morning, Nanao-san."
"Detective Touji Shimazaki was the one assigned, with a new partner."
Kuon didn't know about that, since he skipped the news entirely, but what Nanao said had caught his attention. "I see," he said, pretending disinterest. Nanao took the paper and put it on the seat next to him, his eyes were wide with surprise on the other's less expressive reaction.
"Don't you remember what happened? Don't you have anything to say to this? This is why I do what I'm doing, and you did—"
Kuon gazed hard at him, stopping Nanao's words. Nanao, annoyed, did the same. There was no trace of a beautiful, gentle man who had worn the dress in their date years ago. They had a hard, long staring contest until Kuon leaned back on his seat, sighing.
"Want to see Aniki?"
Nanao was silent for a while before nodding. "Let's go."
When they arrived, it turned out that Nagahisa Aikawa was still sleeping when they came. After peeking into his window, they quietly left. Or at least Nanao left. Kuon wanted to stay there for a while, so Nanao only gave Kuon a small peck on his cheek before leaving.
Kuon slowly entered his older brother's room, and sat on the floor. Staring at his brother's sleeping face brought memories in Kuon's mind. It'd always been Nagahisa, taking care of him and Towa, since they were little. Worrying over Towa's boyfriend, Mikado Shirahane, and then to Kuon's, Nanao. Wearing that colorful bandana and cooking every time he reached home from working. Cheering at both Kuon and Towa when they were playing games.
It's been years, Kuon thought longingly. Things have changed.
"Aniki," he called gently as he, too, fell asleep.
"All are clean, Shima-san." Rin plopped down on her chair.
"I know." Touji walked out the interview room, sighing. "All potential suspects have alibis. Her parents' enemy, her friends, and her boyfriend. I'm thinking about her past boyfriends. She was pretty promiscuous, and one of her friends said she had a problem with one…"
Rin nodded, only listening half-heartedly, and opened her little notebook. There was a name she wrote down, a name that she had discovered after a while of digging on her own. But she just wasn't sure, and she was an intuitive woman who would listen to her heart above everything else, most of times. So she closed the book and put it in her bag. She looked up and saw Touji doing the same.
"Shima-san, how's your lover?" she asked when they were walking out from the police department, because she didn't even know the sex of her partner's lover. All she knew Touji's lover had a kind of mentality issue, thanks to the gossips all around the office.
Touji himself never really talked about it (and she didn't want to poke her nose into her older partner's business anyway) but it was obvious that he loved his boyfriend/girlfriend so much. Rin had seen him looking like hell because he had stayed all night for his lover, and for her it was enough proof of love.
"Fine," Touji said briefly, "Getting better for sure, but he still has nightmares."
She hummed her understanding and they continued to walk. So his partner is a male, she thought. Her mind flew to the name in her notebook again.
This time, she couldn't stop thinking about it.
"How about the car?" Touji's lover asked as he walked into the bedroom later that night. Touji was already on the bed, burrowed under the blanket.
"Not found," Touji sighed. "Nobody had seen the body being dumped there either."
"Sad," it was his lover's turn to sigh as he sat on the bed. "No fingerprints on anything either?"
"No. Nothing. Just a dead body dropped from nowhere after being smashed against her own bathtub. The killer's smart, I'm sure."
"What are you going to do next?"
Touji smiled and pulled his lover to his chest. "You ask too much for today."
"What are you going to do next?" his lover repeated, as if not hearing Touji's remark before.
"Rin'll call her old boyfriends in and I'll meet her parents because her father asked me to. He wants some new information."
His lover chuckled. He bowed his head so Touji couldn't see his expression. If he didn't, Touji could've seen a dangerous flash on his beloved's eyes. "Good luck… darling."
Touji's eyes widened at the affectionate nickname that his lover had never used, but then he smiled and pulled him to a tight hug. "Thank you so much."
Hours later, when Touji was asleep, his lover's fingers danced on the nightstand, trying to find his phone. After a while of fumbling, he found it and hurriedly and with mixed excitement and sadness, he typed a short message.
I called him darling. I'm sorry! You're my only darling. I'm so sorry, please, please forgive me.
He smiled as the message was sent successfully to his one and only darling, just like his message said.
Message sent to: Kuon Aikawa.
Kuon had known that this day would come. He rarely felt excited, but after all that happened, every time Nanao sent him this kind of message, he could feel adrenaline rushed in all his veins. He sat up on his bed, taking his phone from the nightstand. He read Nanao's message and sighed. Of course he would forgive him; he was his beloved after all.
He got up from his bed in his small but tidy apartment, muttering an 'about time', and walked towards the kitchen. He looked around and finally his eyes settled on a big kitchen knife.
Nanao-san's right, he thought. I'm his only darling.
He walked to the window, his fingers now curled tightly around the black, long handle. From his kitchen window, he could see the apartment right across from it. He had lived here since Nanao told him he had moved in with his lover, just because Kuon wanted to look after his ex-boyfriend. Even though their status was between lovers and… friends-with-benefits, and an ex-boyfriend Nanao was, Kuon still loved him to hell and back.
He remembered when Nanao told him that he wanted Kuon to move into the apartment across from his, so they could see each other from the window. "It's up to you, really, if you don't want to…" he'd said, and Kuon had kissed him because he wanted to. Kuon had been more than happy to oblige, even though they rarely communicate between the windows.
Every time he imagined Nanao with his new lover burned him. But Nanao's words always soothed his nerves, telling him that he was his only darling; that his new lover was just because of resentment of what…what had happened before; that his new lover was just a way so Kuon could muster enough rage to do something both of them had to do.
Kuon took a deep breath, while doubt slowly seeped into his core. He sneered at himself. He had done this before, twice even, why stopping now?
He loved Nanao; that needed no more repetition. And Nanao was his, his and his only. Nobody could have him. Not his perverted sensei, not that girl, and not that sad excuse of a police officer. His grip around the knife became tighter as images of Nanao and his lover cuddling together on the couch filled his mind.
Nobody.
Rin Takahashi couldn't sleep. She kept rolling on her bed, trying to find the cold side on it, but after she did she still couldn't calm her nerves. And she knew why.
Haruna Ninomiya's old boyfriends had agreed to come for interviewing tomorrow morning, thanks to her persuasive words and large contact of friends.
Well, all but one.
She sat up, took her notebook, and stared at the name she'd written right after she saw the one and only photo of Haruna and this guy in a romantic manner.
Nanao Shirahane.
She sighed. She hadn't found this guy's contact, and nobody knew where he was. But she'd seen the flash of someone looked like him around Touji's apartment. After knowing Touji had a male lover, she couldn't shake the thought that maybe he could be Touji's mysterious one.
Shirahane, Shirahane… where did I hear that name?
The thought swirled in her mind for half an hour before she jumped out the bed and ran to the living room, towards the stack of old newspaper. Digging within it, she finally found what she was looking for, and she was grateful that she hadn't thrown those newspapers away.
It was an article, an old one that was taken five years ago, about the bulglary and homicide in a family. It was one of the cases she had heard in her first days as a detective, just when she got partnered with Touji Shimazaki-san, and one that had interested her back then because Shima-san had been the one assigned for it.
...Again, a group of burglars broke into the houses of an upper-class family. This time, the well-known Shirahane family became the victims of the incident. The parents, Amano (59), and Keiko (55), and the other children, Kimiko (24), and Mikado (18) were brutally killed. Almost all the members of the family in the house were killed but Nanao Shirahane (22), who was severely injured. These group of burglars also killed Towa Aikawa (17) who was having a sleepover, according to his older brother, Nagahisa Aikawa (25)…
Then she took another article, this one was small, in which nobody really put attention to. This was written three months after the killing incident.
…After his physical treatment, the only surviving person from the Shirahane burglary, Nanao (22) was taken to XT Mental Hospital for intense therapy, along with Nagahisa Aikawa (25) who is also suffering from depression…
Rin stood, grabbed her phone in a rush, and she became anxious as Touji didn't answer her call. He had mentioned of getting a long night sleep early today (and now was just 11:25 PM), and maybe Rin was just overreacting. Maybe she was mistaken. So, as she rushed to her cupboard, looking for her shirt, she called another number.
"Good evening, XT Mental Hospital speaking."
"I'm Detective Rin Takahashi from the Police Department," she said. "I need to know about your patients."
"Which ones, Takahashi-san? You have to know that we may not share how the therapy goes. It's confidential, and you also have to know that you can't interrogate our patients as long as they're under our therapy."
"I know, I know. I just want to know if Nagahisa Aikawa and Nanao Shirahane are still there."
There was a pause, and Rin changed her clothes as she waited. It turned out she did the right thing.
"Aikawa-san is still here, resting, but… Shirahane-san has finished his therapy and left three years ago."
"Who… who signed his letter?" Rin could feel her throat constricting. She knew that XT Mental Hospital's therapy accomplished letter was signed by the therapist and at least a witness, which could be a friend, family, or someone the patient knew. It was done to make sure that their family/friends knew that they were leaving the asylum and they could support the patient when they got around people again.
"His therapist…er…" Another pause, and a rustling sound, "Dr. Homura Suzuki, and his witnesses are… Touji Shimazaki and…"
She didn't listen to the rest of the doctor's words, for she had pulled away the phone from her ear and run downstairs towards her car. She cursed her far proximity to Touji's apartment.
Nanao clicked the small remote in his palm, stopping the handycam from recording, before throwing the remote to farthest side of the room. He stood, with much difficulty—he shouldn't crash himself against the kitchen counter that hard after messing up this place, but he would never learn—and pulled Kuon's 'borrowed' jacket off his body. He turned the lamp on and walked towards another lying, bound body on the corner, out of the range of the handycam to be recorded.
It took him a while when he had first dated Touji to realize that he had the same height, hair color, and (almost all of) gestures like Kuon. Nanao smiled as he remembered the resemblance. Kuon would understand once Nanao explained it to him. He always did.
Slowly, but surely, he wore the jacket to Touji's unconscious body. A crazy thought of taking off Kuon's pants and wore it to Touji intrigued him, but he pushed it to the back of his mind. It'd always been Kuon taking care of him, now it was his turn. It was his turn to get revenge, to get over what Touji had failed to finish.
He slowly, grunting in pain all the way but now he started to get used to it, shook Touji's shoulders like Kuon had done to himself minutes ago. "Ne, Touji, wake up," he called softly. When his lover didn't, he huffed. "Huh. I shouldn't have hit him that hard," he then muttered.
But after a while of shaking shoulders, Touji opened his eyes. He grunted in pain and his eyes widened when he saw his lover near him with bruises covering his face. His glasses were cracked, and his nose was bleeding. His living room looked like a bomb had exploded in it. Touji didn't understand, but he knew something wasn't going to be good when he saw Nanao.
"Nanao! What are you—mh!" he shouted, struggling with the ropes, but Nanao hurriedly tied a cloth over his mouth.
"Ssh," he said gently. "I don't want my darling to wake up, he won't like it."
Nanao's eyes flickered to the side and Touji followed his gaze. He saw a young man, lying unconscious, with a hard wooden block next to his head. Nanao's eyes began to water at the sight, and he looked back to Touji, smiling.
"That's my one and only darling," he introduced in a hoarse tone. Touji remembered him screaming for nightmares just hours (hours?) before, and Touji had woken up to calm him down then… everything had gone dark. "He's the first person I fall in love with, my first boyfriend. His name's Kuon Aikawa."
A…Aikawa?!
Touji, vaguely remembered the tall young man who had hugged his devastated brother after the interrogation, glanced at him. Kuon looked just the same, only his face was paler and colder, showing such a wild, creepy feature of his.
"Yes," Nanao said, smiling gently at Touji's shocked expression. "That Kuon Aikawa. I'm really sorry for dragging him into this mess, you know. I don't want him to hate me… but I have to do something."
Touji almost stopped listening. His mind spun. My gun… where is it? My gun!
As if able to read his mind, Nanao slowly stood and took something from the couch. "I don't want to kill someone," he said as he took Touji's gun and directed it at him. Touji's eyes widened in shock, and it turned to fear as he saw Nanao's eyes changed, reminding him of the ones he had seen years ago, in the asylum. "Really. But can you imagine how hard it is to cope with the deaths of your family without knowing who killed them? Can you?"
"Nanao-san."
Nanao jerked his head to the side, and so did Touji. His cold eyes changed immediately. "Aikawa!" he called; and the cheerfulness in his voice made Touji tremble. "Why're you awake?"
Kuon didn't answer, he just looked at Touji and then at the gun. He did that several times before finally answering.
"I don't want to dirty you."
"Darling," Nanao stumbled as he reached to his ex-boyfriend with his hand, the gun was still tight in another one. Touji regretted the moment he had taught Nanao how to hold a gun. He really loved this man; he was gentle, he was sneaky, he was funny, and Touji thought he deserved better than the image of his love, who had abandoned him because his teacher had liked him.
That was what he knew from Nanao himself and the doctors. But, judging from the way Nanao stared at this… Kuon Aikawa, it was obvious that he didn't feel the same. Even though that damned guy had abandoned Nanao, wasn't there when he had his breakdowns… and Nanao still loved him. The fact was like a dagger that stabbed Touji's heart.
He struggled on his bounds, and finally Kuon looked at him, his eyes cold. "You won't scream or anything, right, Detective Shimazaki-san?" he asked, glancing at the gun that was still directed at the bound detective.
Touji shook his head, and knew that the 'couple' wasn't messing around, so he would go along their game. Kuon knelt and released the gag. "I believe you have questions before you die," he said before leaning against the wall nearby, but far enough for Touji's reach.
The detective ignored him, staring at his lover instead. "You love me," he said roughly.
"You owe me," came the simple answer. "You owe us."
"We still can't find the killers, Nanao. It's not supposed to be like this."
"Then I should wait? Aikawa should wait?" Nanao's eyes watered. "I can't. We can't. We lost all our siblings, our family. You won't understand, you won't. Only Aikawa understands."
"I shouldn't have seen you in the asylum." Touji remembered the day when he fell in love on the first sight to the patient when he was going to interview him. He had been kicked out by the doctors, but he'd got some questions answered and a beautiful face that had stayed in his mind until this very moment.
"It's your own fault. Nanao-san has nothing to do with that," Kuon suddenly spoke; his low voice was like a cold breeze. According to his brother, Kuon had been a very stoic but caring brother. Touji couldn't imagine the last part. "You're the one who falls for him. You lead yourself into the trap."
"Touji," Nanao called, smiling crookedly, but tears were running on his bruised cheeks. Touji remembered his masochist streak when he was still under therapy (thanks to a kind nurse that had leaked that information to him), but he'd never thought it would be like this. "Touji, there's no trace of the killer who killed my family, who killed Aikawa's little brother. No trace. Nothing."
"Why now, Nanao?" Touji asked, taking his time to struggle with no avail. "Why now?"
"Because you decided to call all Haruna's boyfriends in," Nanao answered. "Aikawa really hates her."
"You killed her?!" Touji stiffened in shock, looking up to see Kuon's composed face.
"Her family demolished my house after Aniki was taken away. My parents are dead, you know, and I don't want it anymore. Doesn't mean they have the right, anyway," Kuon answered simply, monotonously. "And their forbidden project is made on a part of the Shirahane's grounds."
"Without a family to inherit and a… mental son, it's easy to claim the grounds…" Nanao said dreamily. "I was her ex, but you haven't told me anything. Do you need to shelter me that much?" His face fell. "I don't know… I'm so sorry if I bothered you."
"You were her boyfriend?"
"Do you know I cheated on you to her for a while? She apparently thought I wasn't the one for her," Nanao muttered, more to himself. "I don't even like girls, sorry for disappointing her though. She was pretty lovely, called her darling but Aikawa's my only one." His dreamy face changed into a cruel sneer, which would make everyone tremble.
"Revenge?" Touji asked bitterly. "You took revenge on them?"
"No." Kuon was the one who answered that. "We take our revenge on them. Nanao-san takes his revenge, and I'll take care of him."
"He loves me so much," Nanao whispered the words with adoration. "He killed our perverted teacher on my birthday. He wants to set me free."
"Nanao-san, he doesn't need to know that."
"You're right. Well," Nanao quipped, smiling that crooked smile again. "Q&A's time is up! Aikawa, what should we do?"
Kuon knelt in front of Touji and carefully pulled Nanao to kneel too, making sure the gun was still directed at the detective. He pulled his gloved hand on Nanao's, guiding the gun to Touji's temple. "Nobody can touch Nanao-san," he hissed as his hands retied the gag. "Because he's mine, and mine only. I know him best, Shimazaki-san."
I'm dead, Touji thought. He closed his eyes, waiting for the gunshot, and was sure that someone would hear it. Then maybe his death would have a trace.
Only it never came. But he died anyway.
Kuon lifted the kitchen knife, now covered with Touji Shimazaki's blood. His face was expressionless. He put it near the body, as if nothing ever happened. Nanao stared at his ex-boyfriend as he did so, pulling the gun away from Touji's now pale face.
"Thank you, Aikawa." Nanao said, smiling his beautiful smile, one that was Kuon's only. "Thank you so much."
The other man didn't answer. "What does he have that I don't?"
Nanao eyed him in wonder. Kuon always did this, comparing himself to every people Nanao dated, taking their things and burying it to free both himself and Nanao. Or maybe he just wanted to take away things that made him different to Nanao's lovers. "I don't know. You look like him, you know."
Kuon merely looked around and settled on a pair of handcuffs on the table. "I'll take this." He stood and helped Nanao to lie down on his place when Kuon first found him. They kissed, and Kuon stood again as he turned off the lamp. Nanao glanced at the clock before all turned dark. 10:50 PM.
"Nanao-san?"
"Y-yes?" When the adrenaline had left him, Nanao felt how hurt his body felt right now.
"I hate it when you hurt yourself and destroying places like that."
Nanao only chuckled, one mixed with a moan, and Kuon left. He hated doing it, but at least Nanao—and himself too—was free now. Nobody could trace him, since Nanao had broken the security camera in their floor, and Kuon, like usual, would take the emergency stairs that had never been guarded.
When Rin arrived in the apartment later, she only saw a very messed up room, a badly traumatized Nanao with Touji's gun in hand as if he wanted to defend himself, and a dead partner.
The next night, Kuon found himself walking into the forest, the place where he used to take Nanao after he killed his teacher, when their families were still alive. They had been happy then, even after they broke up. He knelt on the clearing he used to sit down with Nanao, who had been wearing high heels and dresses.
The wonder never left his eyes as he dug the soil, making a hole like what he had done before. Staring deep at a clear plastic bag filled with red hair of Haruna Ninomiya and three Economic books belonged to Sazuku Satonaka, he threw in the pair of handcuffs, a sign of authority which had been Touji Shimazaki's. Then he refilled the hole without a sound.
He made a mental note to see Nanao, asking if he could come back to him after getting rid of someone who had failed to do justice for their families.
That was all he wanted.
Only Nanao told him to wait. He'd texted Kuon—before he changed the number and deleted all Kuon's messages—telling him that Touji's partner, Rin, seemed to suspect him. He'd known from the way she looked at him, but lack of proof and Nanao's 'unstable mental condition' couldn't do justice to her. Nanao would do something first, and it seemed that Nanao would do just the same with what he'd done to that girl and Touji.
Once Nanao had done his job, he would come back to Kuon. He couldn't promise his ex-boyfriend, but he'd called him 'his only darling' and promised a meeting in another café.
Yes, Kuon could wait. He loved Nanao, and he was sure Nanao loved him, he could do this just fine.
Four Months Later…
"Kuon Aikawa-san, welcome. It's been a while! You're so late, lucky we still accept visitors. Do you want to see Shirahane-san or your brother?"
Kuon stood in front of Chika, the nurse, the only one that he talked to, with concern thick in his limited expression. "Both," he said gruffly. "I came because I heard Aniki's therapy's going to end."
"Yes!" the nurse answered, smiling. "It's good to see him getting better, I'll miss him."
"Hm." It's about time Aniki's out, Kuon thought. He'd recognized his surroundings, and slowly had left his illusion of a happy family of three sons. Kuon was there in his older brother's dark days, but since the Touji incident, he rarely came again.
"How's Nanao-san?"
"Nanao Shirahane? He just finished his daily therapy, now resting. Seems like his nightmares has lessened, after all those meds. If he's not asleep, you can see him for ten minutes. He's really stable nowadays."
"Why is he here again?" he asked, pretending as if he never knew anything. He was here as Nanao's concerned ex-boyfriend and witness, and only some people knew he did such thing. People only knew him being here on his brother's behalf. "Last time I saw him, he was fine on his own."
"He admitted himself a week after his boyfriend—remember that detective? You've seen him before, right?"
"Just a flash. Heard he died."
"Yes," Chika looked down in despair. "You've seen the news, it was terrible. There was a burglary. His throat was slit in front of Shirahane-san. Poor man. No trace of the killer. There was a video of him struggling, but it didn't help much because it was too dark."
"'No trace of the killer'. Just like his family." Kuon said expressionlessly. And my little brother.
"That's why he's here again. The police thought he's too unstable to help. At least, until he's better, he'll stay."
They visited Nagahisa, who apparently just finished crying. He cried all the time, but it was better than him pretending like he was back in that normal Aikawa household, muttering recipes to himself and greeting every nurse as 'Towa'. Kuon gave him an awkward hug and promised that he'd go out soon.
"I want to see Towa's grave," Nagahisa whispered on his remaining brother's ear. "I've heard about it, but—"
"I'll take you there, Aniki."
They stayed together like that for a while, and Kuon had to go. Nagahisa gave him a kiss on the hair, just like he did every time Kuon wanted to go to school. Kuon had hated it, he remembered, but now he realized he needed his only family.
Then Chika told him his time was up, and Kuon left. They were walking in silence when another nurse—a very young one, she must've been new—walked past them, cheeks red and giggling like a schoolgirl. Her hand was holding a closed envelope, and Kuon could guess it was a love letter. She didn't even notice them, too busy in her thoughts.
"New?" Kuon asked.
"Oh, yes," Chika replied. "Megumi Takahashi's her name. She's pretty good, you know."
Takahashi.
Kuon merely nodded and let his mind flew to Touji's partner. Was her name Takahashi too?, he thought, but by then they'd reached Nanao's room so Kuon threw away all the thoughts and replaced it with Nanao's wellbeing.
"He's sleeping," Chika said, although Kuon could see that from the window. "We should leave him alone."
Kuon obliged and followed Chika back to the front desk. The front nurse greeted them, asked about Nagahisa, and then gave Kuon something.
"Someone has this for you, Aikawa-san. Nurse Takahashi doesn't want to tell me who, you should ask her, I'm afraid. He seems want to talk to you again. It's been a while, yes?"
Kuon didn't answer, and he didn't really want to ask where. He only looked at the letter and realized that it was one that the Takahashi nurse had held when he walked past her. Nodding, he took it, signing his visitors list, and walked out.
Later, in his apartment, the same one as before, he opened it. The ink was a bit blotched, as if Nanao was crying while writing it, which made Kuon's heart ache. He could guess what was inside.
I'm sorry. I called Megumi Takahashi my darling. But you're my only darling, Aikawa. Please forgive me.
And because Kuon loved Nanao, he would forgive him and do it just fine.
FIN.
A/N: Huhu! Please don't kill the poor authoress! D:
This is a very dark one, I have to admit, and at first I was going to write a Lightnesco or a Lord of the Flies fic for this challenge, but then I read my old fics and this was kind of mixed up in my head.
The bad end is… you know. The cycle would keep continuing, Kuon would love an image of Nanao, and got rid of people that'd loved/dated Nanao, and Nanao would keep making Kuon his tool. They loved each other, but the deaths had damaged them. That is what makes this so bad.
I hope you get the point, and like this, Elpiji! And all the *coughmasochistcough* readers. :)