Title: With Arms Wide Open
Rating: PG-13, to be safe
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or its characters. End of story.
Author's Note: This is in response to Dorothy's challenge. Reviews are
highly appreciated.
~*~*~*~*~
Nick rolled over, reaching his arm across the bed for Sara. He felt the
cool sheet beneath his hands and opened his eyes in confusion. As much as
Sara insisted she didn't need sleep, it always took an arm and a leg from him
to get her up in the morning, which he didn't mind, because it usually resulted
in shared morning activities. For Sara to be up before him was unheard
of. He slipped out of bed and made his way down the hall, pausing at the
bathroom door when he heard someone vomiting.
"Sara?" The sound of more vomit making its way into the toilet
was his only response. "Sweetie, are you okay?" She
didn't answer, and a moment later Nick heard the water running and the sound of
her rinsing out her mouth and washing her face. She slowly opened the
door and offered a small smile to his worried gaze. "Are you
okay?" Nick asked, placing two concerned hands on her shoulders.
"I'm fine," she insisted, "Probably just some bad Chinese,"
She put on another smile before her face fell and she rushed back into the
bathroom. Nick crouched down and rubbed her back soothingly, whispering
words of comfort. When she finished, Sara looked up at him with a soft
smile. "Okay, maybe I'm not fine."
Nick ushered her back into the bedroom and pulled down the covers on her side
of the bed. "Go back to sleep. I'll tell Grissom that you're
too sick to go to work." He waved his hand when she began to
protest. "Sara, there's no way you can go to work like this.
Grissom will understand. Now get some sleep." He planted a
soft kiss on her forehead and left the room.
Sara sank into the plush pillows and sighed in frustration. She hated
being sick. When you were sick you had to depend entirely on others, a
feeling she despised. And to have to skip work because of it made it even
worse. She reached over to the nightstand and grabbed the cordless phone
from its cradle. After searching through the drawer she finally produced
her phone book and flipped through the pages to find the number she was looking
for.
"Hello, this is Sara Sidle. Could I make an appointment for eight
o'clock with Dr. Anderson?"
~*~*~
Sara opened the door and threw her keys onto the table. Plopping down on
the couch, she closed her eyes and let the events of the day sink in. She
had taken a shower as soon as she got off the phone with the doctor's office,
and she felt better as she drove the fifteen miles to her appointment.
Dr. Anderson saw her right away and ran a few tests, the results of which
astonished Sara completely.
"Your results are back," Dr. Anderson had said, walking into the
stark white room.
"And?" she had asked impatiently, "What is it? Flu, food
poisoning?"
"Nope," the doctor had said with a smile and a shake of her
head. "You're pregnant. Congratulations!" Sara had
stared at the doctor in shock, and was in a daze as Dr. Anderson filled her in
on some information and made another appointment. She was still in a daze
as she drove home and was even now as she lay on the couch. How could
that had happened? She was on the pill; she wasn't supposed to be pregnant.
'Leave it to me to be that one percent that falls through the cracks,' she
thought wryly to herself. This was unreal. It was all a big
misunderstanding, and Dr. Anderson would call back any minute now and tell her
that they had mixed up the test results and that Sara Sidle wasn't
pregnant. A woman who was actually ready to be a mother was.
And what would Nick say? He was the one who had suggested the pills in
the first place, saying he wasn't ready to start a family yet. He wanted
her all to himself, those were his exact words. Of course, he was
probably joking when he said it, but Sara knew he didn't want kids. Not
yet, at least.
She sat up and brought her knees to her chin, contemplating her
situation. She was going to have a baby and there was nothing she could
do about it. The least she could do was make the best of it. For
starters she would stop wallowing in self-pity. There were so many people
who wanted to have a baby but couldn't, like Catherine and Grissom. They
had been trying to get pregnant ever since they had been married two years
before, but they were having so much difficulty. If Catherine knew Sara
didn't want to have a baby she would probably slap her. And with just
cause. Sara was an adult and it was time she started acting like
it. She would have her baby and love and care for it, even if it was
unexpected.
Secretly she had always dreamed of having children, but not this soon.
She had wanted to be married and settled with someone, and even though her
relationship with Nick was strong, they weren't married and she couldn't
guarantee that he would always be there for her, or the baby.
She glanced across the room at the clock poised on the mantle and saw that Nick
would be home in a few hours. If she was going to tell him the news
tonight, she needed to get some things.
~*~*~
Nick turned the key in the door and immediately smelled the aroma of spaghetti
and meatballs filling the apartment. He threw his keys onto the table and
hung his jacket on the coat rack. He walked into the kitchen and saw Sara
standing at the stove, her back to him, stirring the tomato sauce. He
wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. "I thought
you were sick," he whispered in her ear, softly massaging her shoulders.
"All better now," she said with a grin as she turned to face him,
wrapping her arms around his neck and planting a kiss on his lips, "So I
thought I'd make you something special for dinner." She turned back
to the sauce and turned down the flame. "There's some fresh Italian
bread on the counter if you want to slice it for me," she called over her
shoulder.
"Sure," he said, taking the bread knife and carefully slicing the
bread, "I picked up a bottle of red wine for later on the way home to make
you feel better," he said, "But seeing as how you're miraculously
healed, I guess we could have it for dinner," he teased.
Sara poured the pasta into the waiting colander in the sink before scooping it
into two bowls. "Actually," she began, pouring sauce onto the
spaghetti with a ladle, "I think I'll just have a lemonade." She
carefully placed the steaming bowls on the two set places at the table, going
back to the counter to grab a lighter and lighting the two tall candles.
"What?" Nick asked incredulously, "Sara, you've got to have red
wine with pasta," Nick insisted, holding her favorite wine in front of
her.
"I really appreciate that you were thinking of me, but I'd rather have a
lemonade," Sara said nervously, "Are you done with the
bread?"
Nick eyed her suspiciously as he handed her the basket now filled with sliced
bread. "What's going on, Sara? You're acting strange."
"Why don't we sit down?" Sara suggested, taking her seat and opening
the red cloth napkin onto her lap.
"What's wrong?" Nick asked as Sara put a forkful of spaghetti into
her mouth. She slowly and carefully chewed, wanting to postpone the
inevitable as long as possible. Sadly it came too soon. She
swallowed and took a sip of her lemonade to wash it down.
"I went to the doctor's today."
Thoughts of all the possible horrible things that could be wrong with Sara
popped into his head, and he immediately went into protective mode.
"What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, I'm fine," she reassured him, "Dr. Anderson just ran
some tests, and one of them came back positive."
"Which one?" Nick asked worriedly.
"Nick, I'm pregnant." There, she said it. And by the look
on Nick's face it was not what he expected to hear.
"You're what?!" he cried, unable to believe what she was telling him.
"I'm pregnant," she repeated, biting her lip as she awaited his
reaction.
"But . . .I thought . . . weren't you on the pill?"
"I know, I was, I mean I am, but it's not foolproof, Nicky. It's
only ninety-nine percent guaranteed to prevent pregnancy, and I guess I'm the
one percent," she explained.
"I have to go," he said, jumping out of his chair and heading for the
door, grabbing his jacket and keys on the way.
"Nick, wait!" Sara called out, but he was already gone.
~*~*~
Nick pulled out of the driveway in his Tahoe, hitting the button on his radio
and tuning it to the local country music station. He drove aimlessly
along the streets of Vegas, finally getting frustrated with the traffic and
heading to Interstate 95 to drive uninterrupted while he cleared his
head. He heard his cell phone ringing and knew it was Sara wanting to
know where he was, but he couldn't deal with her now so he chose to let it
ring.
How could this have happened? He didn't want to believe that Sara had
purposely stopped taking the pills, but the odds that she got pregnant anyway
were so slim that he found it hard to believe. And either way, he wasn't
ready to be a father. He still had so much he wanted to do before
starting a family. He wanted to spend his free time going out, not
staying home with a baby.
Why couldn't this have happened to someone else? Catherine and Grissom
would be so thrilled to have a baby, but instead of giving them what they
wanted God decided to punish Nick and make Sara pregnant. It wasn't fair.
He and Sara had plans and dreams. They were going to save all their
vacation days and see the world. Rome, Egypt . . . there was so much they
wanted to do and see before settling down, but now things had come crashing
down on them. And he had no idea what to do about it.
~*~*~
Sara slammed the phone down. "Why won't you pick up the goddam
phone, you coward?" she swore, not knowing what to do. He should
have stayed and talked to her instead of storming off, and now she had no idea
of where to find him, or even if he would come back. With a sigh she
dialed a number and smiled when she heard a familiar voice on the line.
"Mrs. Stokes?"
"Sara? It's so good to hear from you! How are you?" she
greeted
"I'm okay. Listen, did Nick call you?" Sara asked.
"No, honey, why?"
Sara raked a frustrated hand through her hair. "It's just that I
told him some news and he stormed off and now I don't know where he is,"
she explained.
"What kind of news, honey?" she inquired curiously.
"I'm pregnant."
"Oh my God, Sara, that's wonderful!" she exclaimed,
"Congratulations!"
"Thank you," Sara said, grateful that someone was happy about it.
"Wait a minute: You told my son that he was going to be a father and he
stormed off without telling you where he was going?" Mrs. Stokes asked
angrily.
"That's about it," Sara confirmed, plopping onto one of the kitchen
counter stools.
"Well he's got some nerve. Just wait till I get my hands on him . .
."
"Mrs. Stokes, please. I didn't want you to get mad at Nick, I just wanted
to know if you knew where he was," Sara said, not wanting Nick to get in
trouble with his family.
"Don't worry, honey. And if I find out where he is I'll let you
know." She assured her, "Good-Bye."
"Bye." Sara hung up the phone and rested her head on the table,
tears brimming in her eyes. "Where the hell did you go, Nick?"
~*~*~
Nick continued driving along the highway, not wanting to run away but not being
able to face Sara yet. He heard the ringing of his cell phone and decided
to answer it this time, realizing Sara deserved to at least know where he was.
"Hello," he greeted tiredly.
"You were never one for running away, Nicky."
"Mom?" Nick asked in confusion. Why was she calling him?
"What do you mean?"
"You know damn straight what I mean. I talked to Sara and she told
me what happened. She's really worried about you."
"Mom, I really don't think it's any of your business," Nick said,
rubbing his temple. Just what he needed: a verbal lashing from mommy.
"Actually I think it's very much my business. Your girlfriend is
carrying my grandchild and you leave her without telling her how you feel or
where you're going. For all she knows you're gone for good," she
chided, "You got some nerve, Nicky."
"Mom, please. I need some time to think, to sort everything out in
my head," Nick said.
"Yeah, well so does Sara. And you two need to sort things out
together, because you're in it for the long run now. She loves you,
Nicky. Don't disappoint her." Nick heard the click of the
phone as his mother hung up. He knew she was right, but he just couldn't
face Sara yet.
The country music was getting on his nerves and Nick fiddled with the knob on
the radio until he found a song he liked. It soon ended and another one
came on. As Nick let the words sink in his thoughts drifted back to Sara.
Well I just heard the news today
It seems my life is going to change
I close my eyes, begin to pray
Then tears of joy stream down my face
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Well I don't know if I'm ready
To be the man I have to be
I'll take a breath, take her by my side
We stand in awe, we've created life
With arms wide open
Under the sunlight
Welcome to this place
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
Now everything has changed
I'll show you love
I'll show you everything
With arms wide open
If I had just one wish
Only one demand
I hope he's not like me
I hope he understands
That he can take this life
And hold it by the hand
And he can greet the world
With arms wide open...
Nick pulled the truck to the side of the road and cut the engine. He laid
his head on the steering wheel and tried to fight the tears that were stinging
his eyes. He had been so selfish. His mother was right; he needed
to be with Sara now. Jesus, if he was this shocked by it, she had to be
even more so, and he had left her. He had left her alone because he was
too damn scared to face it. He left her when she needed him the most.
Wiping his eyes, Nick pulled back onto the stretch of highway and headed to the
nearest exit to turn around and go home. Home to his Sara and their baby.
~*~*~
Nick quietly walked into the apartment and the first thing he noticed was Sara
lying on the couch, asleep, the phone clutched tightly in her hand. He
felt a wave of guilt realizing how worried she must have been. He hung
his jacket on the coat rack and walked into the living room, crouching down to
look at Sara. He could see the stains on her cheeks from the paths her
tears had taken, and there were several used tissues scattered on the coffee
table and floor. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and the slight
movement caused Sara to stir and slit her eyes open. When she realized
that it was Nick she sat up straight and threw her arms around him, holding
onto him tightly and not wanting to let go.
"I thought you weren't coming back," she whispered.
Nick rubbed her back and held her close. "Of course I was coming
back. I just needed some time to think." Sara nodded but
didn't say anything. He was here, that was all that mattered.
"Sara," Nick said.
"Yeah?"
"I want this baby. I just want you to know that. And I can't
guarantee that I'll be a good father, but I'll try. I swear to God, Sara,
I'll try," he promised, holding her tighter.
"I know you will. And so will I. I know that this is something
really unexpected, and it shook things up a little bit, but we have to get
through it together," Sara said, her head resting on his shoulder,
"And just think about how cute our baby will be," she teased in an
attempt to lighten the mood, "My nose, your eyes and smile . . . It'll be
great. You'll see."
"I can't wait," Nick said, kissing her softly, "I love
you. Both of you."
~*~*~*~*~
A/N: The song is 'With Arms Wide Open' by Creed. I've always wanted to
work that song into a story, so I was very excited when this challenge was
posted because I knew I would be able to use it. lol Please review and tell me
what you think!!
~Emily
