Bile comes rushing up my throat and I uncontrollably vomit over the forest floor. The strong, putrid, acidic smell burns the inside of my nostrils. Lincoln is not here. I sit alone in the edge of the forest next Arkadia with a pile of sick beside me. I look around at the dazzling forest bathed in the glorious morning sunshine and force myself to my knees. As I come to my feet, a gurgle torments my stomach and another irrepressible pile of puke erupts from inside me leaving a dissatisfying, bitter taste in my mouth. What is wrong with me? Am I ill? My heads spins and it takes me a moment to gather enough of my senses to start walking towards Arkadia. I should probably talk to Abby or Jackson in case its food poisoning. I stumble through the twisting pathways between the trees until I can clearly see Arkadia in front of me. Its grand, metal fence buzzing with electricity and littered with guards and their guns. I hate it, the whole place looks like a prison. To me it always has been a prison. My head feels foggy and cloudy making it difficult to walk in a straight line and the constant feeling of wanting to eject every fluid in my body isn't helping me to feel any better.

The room is quieter than usual and there is only two or three patients waiting to be tended to. I remember coming in here with Nyko, not to long ago, when he was attacked by the ice nation. The bed he was lying on is still here but has been pressed to the side of the room. "Octavia what can I do for you?" says Jackson as he strolls in, clip-board in hand. He looks perkier than usual, not as tired as I normally see him. His thin lips are pursed into a rather pleased smile and his eyes look bright and alive. I wonder what could have put him in such a good mood. "Um well I have been feeling rather nauseous and have been vomiting quite a bit so I just wanted to see if I should be checked out or something" My voice sounds awkward as I speak and for some reason my palms are sweating. Jackson nods and smiles and then says "Okay no problem follow me"

He guides me to a sectioned off bit of medical and takes my temperature before asking me a series of questions. "What was the last thing you ate?"

I struggle to remember but then it comes back to me "meat stew last night"

He scribbles something on his clip board before asking again "Any diarrhea or increased urination?"

I shake my head slighting before saying "Um not really"

He scribbles on his clip bored again "Any wounds that may have got infected?" he says nodding towards my bandaged arm.

I gained a cut form a rock the other day when I feel off my horse. "Not that I know of off"

Jackson puts down the clip board and gives me a quizzical look. "Well have you missed a period?" The question suddenly makes sparks of panic flare through me. Thinking about it I was dew a few days ago but I hadn't even noticed and it hadn't even occurred to me that it could actually mean something. My hair sticks to the back of my neck that is now glazed in a layer of sweat and I have to rub my clammy palms on my trousers to dry them. I sheepishly nod my head. He can't be implying what I think he is implying. No. He can't. My head is facing the floor. 'It's fine' I tell myself. It's probably just stress. "Octavia?" I look up at Jackson whose eyes are over flowing with a sympathetic look that you would give a child. "I would like to run a few more tests if that would be okay?" He hesitates but I nod without really thinking about what he is saying. I'm lost in a world of my own. A world consumed by ten million thoughts, each contradicting the other.

Once I give Jackson a urine sample he tells me to wait in the waiting room. The wait seems to take forever and the anxiety is killing me. With every passing second more disturbing thoughts swallow my mind like a never ending black hole. The chair I sit on is steel and I can feel the cold seeping into me from the metal. After about 10 minutes of waiting in the deserted waiting area, l can see Jackson come out of a closed off room with Abby by his side and they walk towards me. I stand up ready to listen to what they have to say. I can honestly say that I'm terrified, nothing has ever scared me in the same way that this has. My whole body is trembling with anticipation, dreading the words that Abby is about to say. "Octavia we have your test results back…" exclaims Abby. My lower lip begins to waver. I already know what she's about to say but a small part of me hopes that I'm wrong. Hopes that this won't happen. I'm not ready. She is about to say it. Any second now…

"You're pregnant" she says

For a moment my heart stops beating. A deep churning feeling rises within me making me feel sick again. This doesn't feel real. This feels like a terrible, terrible night mare that I can't wake up from. This is real. This is happening. I'm pregnant. There is an actual, physical human baby growing inside me. I don't know what to do. Do I get rid of it? Do I keep it? What do I tell Lincoln? How can I fight and train if I'm carrying an extra 10 pounds around with me all day. "Octavia?" I look to see Abby staring at me the way Jackson did. Sympathy written all over her face. "Are you okay? Do you want to talk?" she says. I don't want to talk; I have enough voices in my head already. I just stare at Abby not sure what to say or do. "Octavia I really think we should talk about this?" Her voice is condescending and patronizing; I can see why Raven dislikes her. I don't answer Abby; I just stare at the ground.

I can't bare Abby's concerned stare any longer so I turn on my heal and sprint out of the room, along the corridor, out the doors, down the path and to the stables where realize my horse as quickly as I can I jump on her back. I run away from Arkadia as quick as I can .I don't look back or stop to wait for them to properly open the gates, I just keep running. I don't cry because I am not sad. I don't smile because I am not happy. I simply run. Run and leave everything behind me. I don't want a child; I wouldn't know what to do with the thing if I had one. All I can do now is get away. So I carry on running on my horse into the woods until my mind finally becomes clear.