In a land faraway lived sentient objects, who lives harmoniously?
Two objects are currently talking about their life.
Trumpet: (He's a trumpet.) Man Baguette, everyone is so crazy, y'know?
Baguette: (A sentient long baguette) Maybe. But one thing's for sure, ROLLER BLADES DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE HERE.
Trumpet: Roller Blades isn't that bad… there are people far more worse than her… like Tiara!
Nearby, a sentient pink tiara is shouting at a sentient purple handbag and a sentient blue perfume bottle.
Tiara: [haughtily pointing at the two] You people are my servants now, agreed?
Perfume: [blinks in confusion] Like what do you mean?
Tiara: [face-palms] Ugh. You people are stupid
Purse: [crosses her arms as she pouts] How rude! You shouldn't say that!
Tiara: [scoffs] I'm the boss here! I'm a freaking tiara and tiaras means authority!
Purse: [In a stupid tone: Really?
Tiara: Well-
Tiara is suddenly pushed down by a cellphone.
Cellphona: Oh, don't believe her, Purse. You see, I'm the boss here, not that plastic little crown. I'm more important!
Perfume: Like, who are you?
A spool of thread then walks by, looking annoyed.
Thread: You lived with her in this place for over ten years yet you still don't know her…
Perfume: Who?
Cellphona: [jumps in front of Perfume] ME, OF COURSE! It's truly a shame not to know the most trending item here.
Tiara: [snickering] Of course, no one would recognize you. You're a nobody.
Cellphona: [looks at Tiara, offended] Excuse me.
Thread: [groans] Ugh! B*ch drama. Better leave now.
Thread walks away nonchalantly.
Thread walks past a green chair and an envelope, having a heated argument.
Chair: Don't you understand that the furniture are being abused?!
Envelope: Well, that abuse you are speaking of is just them fulfilling their purpose.
Chair: [suddenly pushes Envelope, who easily fell down because of his width] It's just because you are NOT a furniture, so you don't feel our pain.
Envelope[hastily stands up] But-
Chair: SHUUUT IT! FURNITURE REVOLUTION!!!
Just then, a chocolate chip cookie, munching on an apple passes by.
She stops as she notices the two. She frowns.
Cookie: Why are you two always fighting?
Envelope glares at Chair. Chair returned the expression.
Cookie: Why can't we all just get along??
Envelope: Because you have an unrealistic view of the world!
Cookie: [sniffling] Don't be so harsh?
Cookie: [munches on her apples, crying] We're all friends he-
Cookie is suddenly run over by maroon roller blades.
Roller Blades: Let's play, peeps!
Cookie: Why is the wor- [takes a bite of her apple] ahem, world cruel to me?!
Nearby, a stick of butter, cheese and a mothball are having a civil conversation.
Mothball: So Cheese… and Butter… are you sure you're not dating? You seem so close and you look alike.
Butter looks over at Cheese and glares.
Cheese: [concerned] Are you sure we're in good terms, Butter? 'Cause you still look as if you're ready to disembowel me, or somethin'.
Butter: [shifts her gaze unto the green grass below her] Maybe.
Mothball: [shudders] No disemboweling… please… it's too dirty for my tastes.
A baseball then passes by.
Baseball: [waves at Butter] Hi Cheese! [to Cheese] Hi Butter!
Butter turned red and trips over air as she tried to run to Baseball, landing face-flat.
Baseball: Huh? What's wrong with Cheese? He looks red?
Butter regained her composure then started running again, until she tripped within seconds.
Mothball: [visibly winces] That looks painful.
Nearby, a telescope and piece of chalk are having a smart conversation.
Chalkie: - and that is why the sky is blue.
Telescope: I absolutely agree! At least you underst--
Washy: Blub blub blub
A washing machine appears out of nowhere next to Telescope.
Telescope: Washy, are you begging me to shove a dirty piece of clothing down your mouth?
Washy: [not affected] Blub blub blub.
Chalkie: Perhaps, we can ask politely.
Telescope[Sarcastically] I shall try… BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUB.
Chalkie: [gasps] Telescope! How dare you!
Washy: [angrily] BLUBBBBBBBB
Telescope: [turns red with fury] This is absolutely stupid!
He walked away after kicking a wad of grass into Washy's gaping mouth.
Washy: [choking] BBBBBLUB!!!
Chalkie: …
Meanwhile in another area, a red bag and a red sphere are having a trash talk battle.
Spherica: [flatly] You're fat.
Bag: [mockingly] Says a round ball.
Spherica: [deadpans] I'm a sphere. Oh wait… you're too stupid to know that.
Bag: I don't, like, need to know that. I could mock you either way, weirdo.
Spherica: Whatever.
Back to Baguette and Trumpet!
Trumpet: [sighs] Sometimes… I want to go somewhere… away from some of them… Tiara, Cellphona, Bag, Washy, Telescope, Butter and Spherica.
Baguette[flatly] You call that 'some'?
Trumpet: [smugly] I know that you want to get away from them too… and Roller Blades obviously.
Before Baguette could reply, Roller Blades ran over her with a quick whoosh.
Trumpet: Oof. You okay?
Baguette: [moans] Isn't it obvious?
Trumpet: Yeah… I just-
???: Then, you're in luck!
An orange pretzel emerges out of nowhere.
Pretzel: Hello there!
Trumpet: Woah… I expected a speaker thingie.
Pretzel: I'm here with good news!
Chalkie, Telescope and Baseball walks over with curious expressions.
Baseball: Good news?
Pretzel: Weeell! There's a fara-
Baseball: Dream Island?!!
Pretzel: No! Pretzel Island, of course!
Chalkie: [blank expression] Wow. That's a wonderful name.
Pretzel: Thank you. You all are going to compete in a game though… to get Pretzel Island.
Telescope: [laughs dryly] Let me guess… Is it full of pretzels?
Pretzel: Haha. Very funny.
Trumpet: I'm more curious about the game though…
Pretzel: Weeeeell. It'll be… a battle for Pretzel Island! The last object standing wins it! And they controls who can enters and who can't!
Baguette: What if a food item wins?
Pretzel: [flatly] Food. Furniture. Everything is an object.
Chair's voice can be heard in the distance.
Chair: FURNITURE!!!
Trumpet: Oof!
Pretzel: Let's get started, shall we?
And so it begins… the Battle… for Pretzel Island.
-000-
The twenty contestants are all now standing at one side of a chasm while Pretzel stood at the other side. There are two tightropes connecting the two points.
Perfume: Like, omigosh! This is going to be hard!
Tiara: [rolls eyes] Pffft. It looks easy!
Pretzel: Contestants, the first challenge is walking on the tightrope to me. First contestant to reach me wins.
Bag: OMFG. This is, like, gonna be a piece of cake! I'm go--
Cookie: [perks up] Did someone say cake?!
Washy: [annoyed] BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUB!
Bag: Like, whatever.
Chalkie: [nods] I agree with Washy. He doesn't have legs… so she can't exactly do this challenge.
Thread: It's okay. One less contestant to deal with.
Pretzel: Ookay! Let the challenge… begin!!!
Chalkie began to walk the tightrope, carefully maintaining his balance.
Chalkie: Oof! This is hard!
Suddenly Bag came up to him and pushed him off.
Chalkie: Aaaaaaah!!!!!!
Chalkie falls to the water below.
Chalkie: I'm now soggy!!!
Pretzel: Chalkie is now out of the challenge.
Perfume, Baseball and Mothball has also began to make their way through the second tightrope but Perfume quickly fell.
Perfume: [screaming] Like omigosh!!!
Mothball: [rolls eyes] Pffft
Baseball: [smiling] I'm winning!
Meanwhile on the other tightrope, Bag has made good progress.
Bag: [proudly] I'm going to win-
Roller Blades then runs over her. But she manages to stay on... Barely.
Telescope then starts to make his way through the first tightrope, which was starting to sway precariously. He fell with a loud SPLASH!
Thread also makes his way on the second tightrope. He pushes Mothball off.
Thread: [nonchalantly] Sorry, not sorry.
Mothball: Aaaaaaahhhhh!!!
Trumpet: [smiling weakly as he walks down the first tightrope] Here I go!
Cookie: [follows suit] Hehehe. Me as well!
Bag continued and nearly fell again
Bag: [annoyed] #@/!#@!!!!!
Purse then started walking on the second tightrope with a nervous smile.
Tiara smirks as she approaches the first tightrope… then she unties the rope.
Bag, Roller Blades, Cookie and Trumpet all fall to the water below.
Baguette: [smiling] Bye Roller Blades! Hehehe!!!
Tiara: Hehehe. Bye b*ches!
Then Tiara trips and falls to the water too.
Tiara: Eeeeeeeek!!!
Envelope then sways on the remaining tightrope, before falling almost immediately.
Envelope: [sarcastic:Ahhhhh. That was worthless. Ahhhhhh.
Spherica makes her ways to the second tightrope then begin to make her way to the other side.
Cheese started teetering on the tightrope because of his width. He then manages to nudge Spherica and grab her as he fell, bringing her with him.
Cheese: Ahhhhhh!!!
Spherica: Butter! You fool!
Butter suddenly appears out of nowhere next to Spherica.
Butter: [slaps Spherica] I'm Butter!
Butter then disappears as Spherica and Cheese fall to the water.
Thread is now rudely trying to push Baseball off but Baseball won't budge.
Thread: [annoyed] Baseball. Why are you so heavy?!
Baseball: [doesn't notice] Gotta win this!
Chair then gets stuck on the tightrope.
Chair: [clearly annoyed] The cons of having four legs. Dang it.
Washy is still stuck at the beginning.
Washy: [grumbles] BLUB BLUB BLUB!!!
Butter then starts to push Washy off the starting point. She groaned under the weight. Eventually, she successfully pushed her off.
Washy: Blub...
Butter: [smiles evilly] Eat that, ya washing machine!
She then proceeds to balance on the rope.
Baseball is now at the end. He jumps off the tightrope to the other side of the chasm. He smiles.
Baseball: Woo! I win Pretzel Island, right?
Pretzel: [smiling eerily] Not yet!
In all this Cellphona just sat at the cliff, sipping a cup of coffee.
Baguette: Isn't liquid bad for you?
Cellphona: [grins proudly] I'm waterproof!
Baguette: [eyes her suspiciously] How can you hold that cup then, without arms?
Cellphona then smirks and dropped the cup.
Cellphona: Stuff. Now, Ta ta!
She hopped unto the tightrope, kicking Chair off, without using legs.
Chair: AAAAGHHHHH
Then Baguette sneaked up on Cellphona, pushing her off.
Cellphona: [screams] YOU WON'T WIN ANYWAYS!!!
Thread is now near the finish… but falls.
Thread: [flatly] Curse you, karma!!!
At the finish, Purse reaches Pretzel.
Purse: [pouting] Awwww. Second place!
Baseball: That's okay! I'm letting you in Pret-
Pretzel: The game's not yet over.
Baguette and Butter has then reached the finish line, gawking.
Butter: I was too slow!
Baguette then sighed, patting Butter on the back.
Pretzel: Ummm. Hello! The Battle for Pretzel Island isn't just this! This is merely the first challenge!
Purse: [curious] Challenge…? What do you mean?
Pretzel: Weeeell. This is just the first of many! Purse. Baseball. Since you're the first two to the finish… you two will be team leaders.
Baseball: Rad.
Purse: [brightens] Oh my!
Pretzel: You're also immune.
Baseball: Immune from what?
Purse: Hopefully-
Pretzel: Elimination.
Baseball: Oh great!
A scooper then scoops up the people who fell into the water.
Pretzel: Baseball and Purse are immune.
Pretzel: Bag, Butter, Mothball, Tiara, Cellphona, Washy, Telescope, Chalkie, Envelope, Perfume, Baguette, Thread, Spherica, Cookie, Cheese, Trumpet, Chair and Roller Blades will be up for elimination.
Pretzel: It's up to the audience to see who leaves. The deadline is on February 7, 2018. See you then
-000-
Hello! I'm back with this short story?
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Special Mention to: Battle for Dream Island, my sister