Title: Déjá Vu

Author: GEM

Date written: 4/5/07

Rated: T

Word count:

Story Timeline: Season 3

Category: Drama/Romance/Angst

Warnings: Tissues may be needed

Characters: Roslin/Adama

Summary: If the prophecies are true—All of this has happened before and all of it will happen again

Spoiler: Season 1 and 2, Season 3-- Maelstrom, Crossroads I and II

Chapter 1

Laura stared into Jack Cottles's eyes. Her hands were shaking. "You're sure?" Jack closed the distance between them; the sadness present in his eyes was enough of an answer for her.

He took her hands in his. "I'm sure. I'm sorry Laura. It appears to be in the early stages so there is no need to curl up and hide yet. You have time. We have to decide what course of treatment to take."

Laura swallowed hard. She always knew there was a possibility the cancer would return…she just wasn't ready for it to be right now. Her life was becoming normal. As normal as it could be when you're the President of a people fleeing for their lives.

"Doctor. I have no intention of curling up and hiding. I intend to fight this harder than I fought before."

"It's amazing what love will do to a person." Cottle's comment was a whisper so only Laura could hear him.

Laura could have sworn she saw Jack Cottle smile. "Excuse me? What did you say?"

"I said love is an amazing thing." Cottle turned away for a moment to grab a bottle of pills and then took a seat in front of Laura, before handing the bottle off to her.

"Does he know you're here to see me?"

"Yes." She answered rolling the bottle around in her hand.

"Does he know why?"

Laura was staring down at the floor pleading for it to swallow her. She didn't want to have this conversation. "Jack…"

"Laura? He needs to know."

Her voice was small barely a whisper. "He knows…He found it."

"I see. Okay, well, I'm not giving up on you, young lady. Don't you dare give up on yourself."

Laura looked up at the man in front of her. He could be a pain in the ass most of the time but he did have a sweet side that he rarely showed.

Jack pointed to the bottle of pills she was holding in her hand. "Chamalla for the pain. You have a couple of options for treatment but I think the deloxin is the best option at the moment."

"I'll do whatever you think is best doctor."

"We'll start you on the deloxin and take it from there. How's tomorrow afternoon?"

Laura nodded and stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon then." Laura gave the good doctor a half a smile and walked out of his office.

"Damn… Why do you do this to her? She's finally happy." Cottle made his agitated statements to the wall and the thin air as he watched her leave sickbay. He sat back in his desk chair, pulled a cigarette out of the pack in his lab coat pocket, placed in his mouth, lit it up and took a drag. Why damn it, why.

---

Laura wanted to be alone. She went to the one place on the Galactica she knew nobody would bother her. She would be able to have a few moments of peace and be alone with her thoughts.

When she approached Bill's quarters the Marines saluted and one of the young men opened the hatch. Laura nodded to them politely before stepping through. Once she was inside she heard the hatch closed behind her. She kicked off her shoes, walked over to the table were Bill kept his good scotch and pitcher of water. She stared down at both the scotch and the water before making her decision. Picking up an empty glass and the water, she poured herself a glass. She turned and walked to his sitting area and sat in one of his oversized leather armchairs, tucking her feet under her. She leaned back in the chair closed her eyes and let the calm that this place, his place, wash over her.

She smiled to herself. She would laugh if it weren't so sad. Her situation was dripping with irony. She had finally reached and understanding with Bill Adama. A deep understanding, they had fallen in love. His compassion was endless and his love was no longer laced with pity…although she never truly believed the first kiss they shared was out of pity. She liked to think it was more a way of thanking her. After all she had just promoted him. That kiss for her was a breath of life. It was the first time she was able to understand just how much she truly cared for William Adama and just how far they had come over such a short time.

She had feelings for him for a long time before that moment. Feelings that she couldn't quite grasp or explain but she understood those feelings now and they were exploring them and taking them as far as they could in their situation. They had to be careful. One thing was for sure they loved each other, the love that she felt for him, and he for her would help her fight this.

Laura couldn't stop what was happening to her. It was the will of the gods. If she believed in the prophecies which she most certainly did. She was the dying leader. She was a dying leader when their journey began five years ago. She was ready to fulfill her destiny but the gods saw fit to give her more time. She had used that time for herself and for her people. She had to lead them to Earth.

Earth…a promise of a better future was what got her into trouble the first time. The prophecy states a dying leader will show the way to Earth. She took her roll as that leader seriously although she kept her condition a secret the first time until she could no longer hide the truth from the people.

In hindsight it was perhaps not the best decision to appeal to Starbuck, tell her the truth and send her in search of the arrow. Laura felt it was necessary for the good of the fleet but her action set into motion a turn of events no one could have fathomed.

Bill calling for her resignation, her refusal to do so, the military coup, Lee pointing a gun at Saul Tigh's head, and her stay in the brig. Laura will never forget the look of pain, hurt and disappointment on Bill Adama's face. He loved her then and she loved him, but she was to blinded by purpose and prophecy to see it.

She knew deep down in her heart that she could not have stopped the course of events that followed him after leaving the brig that day, but she is certain that if he had not be wounded by Boomer they would have come to an agreement and she wouldn't have remained in the brig as long as she had.

She remembers that day behind those bars as if it were yesterday. The call for action stations, the call for medical personnel to CIC, Lee's blood stained body and his fury when he arrived in the brig.

When she first saw his outward appearance she thought they had physically harmed him. Then she looked into his eyes. There was pain, helplessness, and fury. Laura felt her breath catch in her throat and her knees go weak. She saw the words come out of Lee's mouth. They hit her like the bullets that had hit her secret love but there was no sign of injury to her. She didn't know what to do first that day. She wanted to run to sickbay, she wanted to be by his side but she knew that wasn't possible. Instead she focused on the young man in the cell beside hers. Her Captain Apollo. She did what she could to reassure and comfort him. Laura knew he wanted to be by his father's side. She came just short of telling him the truth. That she was secretly in love with his father and She too wanted to be by his side as he fought for his life.

The days that followed were the hardest for her. They found the rest of the fleet and Bill had had surgery to repair the damage done by the cylon. She had only seen him once since the attempt on his life and it was before they found the fleet. Bill was so pale and the scar from his first surgery was so new that it took all she had to keep her composure. Once again she reassured Lee that his father would make it. In all honesty that reassurance was as much for him as it was for her.

She returned to the brig and watched the fleet disincarnate before her eyes as Bill was fighting for his life. She knew she had to get out of there in order to keep the fleet on the road to Earth. She needed to leave Bill Adama and the Galactica behind. She had help from the inside and she needed to move. She had to trust the gods to lead her to the map to Earth. She needed to trust the Gods to keep Bill safe so that they would be able to have a chance to repair the rift between them. A rift she was about to make bigger but she had no choice.

She had to stifle a laugh at the irony. She opened her eyes and looked around. She had repaired the rift that their actions created those years ago and now she considered this place she was in now her second home. This was the place she felt the most safe. She would sit here for hours at night in his arms, kissing him, laughing at his jokes, reading his books. They were able to move past their indiscretions. They were truly a team working together to find a place called Earth.

Laura knew Bill would have a hard time hearing the news but she also knew he would be the one to hold her in his arms when she cried. He would be the one who would be with her every step of the way. He would be the one to make sure she felt the love that they shared for one another. She was certain he would be the one that would make sure she livedout her final days.

Laura heard the Marines greet him behind the door and heard the hatch open and close. She kept her eyes closed through it all. She stayed in her calm place as long as she could. She knew that it was about to get less peaceful.

She felt his hand on her shoulder and then his warm lips on her forehead. She opened her eyes when he stood up again. Her deep seas of green meant his puddles of cobalt blue. She didn't need to say the words she could tell by the look in his eyes, on his face that he knew the truth. He moved his hand off of her shoulder and walked around taking her hand in his and giving it a strong squeeze. He sat on the arm of the chair and drew her into a warm, strong, comforting embrace. It didn't take long for the emotions to flood out of her.

She was racked with sobs; shaking uncontrollability he held her tight and kissed the top of her head. He told her he loved her. He would be with her through it all. The rest of the time he tries to calm her by whispering soothing words in her ear. She didn't know what he was saying but it gave her comfort just knowing he was there with her. She knew he was trying to be strong but the emotions of the past weeks were catching up. Kara was dead and Bill had a difficult time moving on from the loss of his surrogate daughter.

Laura has now added to his burdens and even though she knows he doesn't want to cry about her fate in front of her. She can feel his tears soak the top of her head as he holds her. Feeling his tears only makes her cry more for him, for them, for the future they will not have.

Laura isn't going to give up easily she will fight this for herself and for William Adama, the love of her life. She was the dying leader when the journey began and now the gods see fit to have her reprise her role.