A/n: Just a fun little thing I whipped up last night, beta'd by the always wonderful Zarrian. I know there's some major gaping theological holes, and I apologize. Also- this is meant as a joke. Please do not take offense. =)

The Pushing Daisies Bible

In the beginning, when television was created, the shows were a dark wasteland, unoriginality was rampant, and reality shows swept over the screens. Then Larry David said, "Let there be comedy" and there was Seinfeld. Larry saw how good the comedy was. He separated Seinfeld from the reality shows.

Then Shonda Rhimes said, "Let there be drama" and there was Grey's Anatomy. And everyone saw how good the drama and comedy was.

Then producers said, "Let the screens teem with an abundance of shows." And so it happened.

Such is the story of the shows and scripts at their creation. Yet there was no man, no woman, and no epic love story for everyone to support. So Bryan Fuller formed Ned, and breathed his words into him, and gave him Life, so Ned became a living being.

Then Bryan Fuller made a town, Cour d'Cours, in the east, and he placed there the man he had created. Bryan gave him trees, flowers, and a dog, yet Ned was still unsatisfied. So Bryan said, "Let Ned have The Touch." And Ned had The Touch, and was able to bring dead things back to life. Bryan forbade Ned to use it, for as there was no sin there was no death.

Then Bryan said, "It is not good for Ned to be alone. I will make a suitable partner for him." So he cast Ned into a deep sleep, and while he was asleep, he took one of his ribs and formed Olive from the rib. Olive and Ned were naked, yet they felt no shame.

Bryan saw how uninteresting life would be, and he created Chuck to make Ned's life more interesting.

Now Chuck was the most cunning of all the animals Bryan had created. She said to Olive, "Ask Ned to use his famous touch."

Olive answered Chuck: "No, for Bryan told us not to. He said if we should, there shall be death."

"Silly Bryan! There shall not be death. The moment you use Ned's Touch, your eyes shall be opened like gods."

Olive believed her, and convinced Ned to kill the dog to bring him back to Life. Once Ned touched the dog, badness entered the world, and they realized they were naked. They hid, for they were scared.

When Bryan Fuller came, he asked if they had used Ned's touch, and they lied and said, "No." Angered, he placed a curse on them:

"Olive shall love Ned, who shall love Chuck, whom he can never touch." And Ned was saddened, for he knew that for true happiness he must love Olive.

So Bryan expelled them from the town, erasing all memory of their Creation, placing them in the Pie Hole. And Ned thinks he is happy with Chuck. But for true happiness he must learn to love Olive to be able to return to Cour d'Cours and live happily without Death.