Summary: With the threat of courts martial for theft of the Normandy no longer looming, another possible complication arises. But how to deal with what happened between she and her pilot on the way to Ilos? That is a whole other bag of worms.

a/n: Another gift for my Holiday Harbinger spacemomnephmoreau. Hope you don't mind me lavishing you in Shoker, and hope a little extra smut is okay.

Probation

-1-

"This is insane," Shepard said.

"Yep," Joker agreed.

It was. Completely nuts. Utterly certifiable. But that realization did not loosen her grip on his collar or keep him from pressing his body against hers as he dove to seal their lips again. Joker gripped the top of her thigh, using it as leverage to roll his hips against hers. She moaned into his mouth with abandon.

Yeah, it was mad, but it wasn't any crazier than what happened between them enroute to Ilos when they kissed for the first time, when she straddled his hips and eased her hand into his trousers, when he teased her to orgasm, wishing for more. After she left the cockpit to prep for her mission, he couldn't stop tasting the tangy sweetness of her lip balm, which smelled faintly of roses. No matter what he did, he couldn't chase away the sensation of her weight against him.

Maybe it was foolish. Certainly, against the regs, but then Joker almost prided himself on his reputation for pressing the line and jumping clear over it when he wanted something bad enough. He'd done it to earn his post on the Normandy, and he decided to put it on the line again. He knew Shepard to be cut from the same cloth. When there wasn't a path, she did not balk at carving out her own.

She clung to the back of his neck with one hand as she deepened their kiss, her tongue sliding against his. He could feel the ebb and flow of her thought process in her body—the way she moved from arching her body against his and pulling him closer to putting enough distance between them in order to allow a sliver of breathing room.

"Jeff," she breathed against his temple, turning her face toward him in a way that made his access to her neck more difficult.

He hummed affirmatively before peeling his mouth from her skin. "I like that," he told her, leaning over her once more and finding her gaze.

"What?' she asked, flowing back toward him again.

"Hearing you say my name. Especially all breathy like that." He flashed her a rapacious grin. But it was completely true, her calling him by his given name rather than his callsign did things to him, sparked his already raging libido.

Her laugh was quiet and too short lived, but it provoked that gentle smile—the one that lit her eyes with a mischievous twinkle. But too soon she shook her head, erasing that look. "What are we doing?" she asked, leaning her forehead against his.

Joker didn't pull away, but he guessed he might not have the answer she was looking for, so he defaulted to his own standby. "Well," he crooned in a tone that edged playful, "when two people like each other a lot—" His makeshift birds and bees lecture shriveled with the tight purse of her lips as her head dropped back against the bed.

"I'm your CO." Her words carried a tone far too serious for a woman splayed out across a hotel room mattress with a man nestled tightly between her thighs.

Still, he didn't switch gears. "I won't tell, if you don't."

Despite her laughter, she still inched away from him. He could see it in her eyes. Feel it in the way her embrace loosened. "It's more complicated than that."

"Does it have to be?" he challenged, a seriousness to match her own entering his voice. He refused to give up this chance without a fight. When they'd kissed on the bridge, he'd felt something, something he wasn't willing to just let go of.

She stared at him, searching his face. The battle raged behind her eyes as her fingers raked through the short hair on the back of his head. Her other hand flexed against his chest as he leaned on his elbows above her, twirling his fingers in her silky red hair that framed her face like a crown of fire. He willed her to take the chance he took in showing up at her door that night; wanted her to take a plunge, like they had less than a day ago.

"This can't go beyond this room."

"Do I strike you as the kind of guy to kiss and tell?" he chided, pressing a quick kiss to her chin.

"I'm serious." Her hands came to his shoulders, not pushing him away just yet, but clearly prepared to put a full stop to what was happening.

Jeff was not about to push her at all either. If this happened, it would be because they both wanted it. "I'm not going to suddenly start breaking confidences now. Yours or anyone's," he assured her, maintaining the distance she placed between them. The next move would be hers. "I want you. I want this. But if you don't—"

"That's not …" she sighed. Her eyes slipped shut, one arm resting over her face.

It wasn't a no, but it wasn't an equivocal yes. And despite the reputation he had for being the biggest horn ball on the crew, he was not that guy. He pressed himself up to his knees. It brought her back to the moment and she shifted onto her elbows, her feet resting on either side of his legs.

"What do you want?" he asked her. "I'm great at anticipating maneuvers, but contrary to belief, I can't read minds. You have to tell me what you want."

"I want something I shouldn't."

His heart thumped against the inside of his ribcage.

She sat up, head tipped back as she stared up at him. Her fingers smoothed over the name patch on his uniform blouse before her gaze met his once more. "I'd be taking advantage of you."

"What part of 'I want you' sounds like coercion?"

"We're officers. It's inherent in the nature of the command structure."

"Fuck," he sighed. He brushed his hands over her cheeks, bending so that his nose nearly touched hers. "Get your nose out of the rule book for a moment and listen to what I'm saying. I'm an adult of sound mind and, well, kind of sound body," he said with a chuckle. "I've already earned the choicest assignment in the fleet. I'm not after you for your rank. But I do want to take every stitch of clothing off your body, kiss every inch of your skin, then fuck you until you can't remember your own name."

Her breath shook between them and Joker couldn't help but grin at the achievement. "Anything between us can't happen on the ship."

"Understood."

"Not a single hint. No stray looks or whispers." Her fingers crept along his ribs, and he couldn't help but want more than the dull sensation that passed along his nerves because of the interference of the thick fabric of his uniform. "The crew can't know."

"Like I said, I don't kiss and tell." And did he ever want to kiss her again.

"Good. Then do it, Jeff. Kiss me. Please—"

He didn't let another syllable pass her lips without tasting it first. She grunted with the impact of it; her lips parted around the thrust of his tongue. He cradled her head in his hand as he guided her back against the mattress. He had been entirely serious about every word he told her. He wanted to taste every inch of her, and once nestled between her legs again, he set out on that task.

Shepard's hands fisted in his shirt as he kissed his way to her neck. Her hips rolled against his, lifting as he crept down her body. Joker traced her collarbone with the tip of his tongue. Greedy kisses peppered her décolletage as his hands smoothed up her sides, inching toward her breasts until he finally cupped them in both his hands. Her body arched into the touch and he squeezed, earning a moan as she lowered her chin to her chest and looked down at him.

"Jeff," she said quietly, her fingers brushing through his hair. It wasn't a question, but it sounded like a plea for more to him.

He pressed a kiss on the top of one breast, then inched his way to the valley between as he caressed and kneaded. His lips moved across the swell of the other and he met her gaze once more before his hand retreated. Clever fingers twirled in the cotton of her tank top, pulling the fabric taut over her hard nipples. He dipped his head and sucked at it through the fabric.

"Fuck," she exhaled, her hands clutching at the collar of his uniform.

Joker pulled his teeth across the fabric teasing at the taut peak beneath. Then he shifted his attention to its twin, but his fingers continued to inch the fabric over her sensitive flesh, exposing it to the cool, circulating air of the room. In this, he was methodical, exacting. He sucked at her exposed nipples, savoring the way she shuddered with every lick, every suck, every pluck of his thumb. It made him greedy. He inched lower, pushing her shirt up by the hem so he could press lingering, open-mouthed kisses over her belly, along the curve of her ribs, at the edge of her hip.

Finally, he knelt between her knees again, looking down at her with a hunger. He pressed his hand flat over the fly of her jeans and between her legs. Her hips rose off the bed, pressing against his firm touch. The heady moan that escaped her lips settled low in his groin, making his cock ache. His hand moved to the button of her jeans. When she sat up, pulling her t-shirt off, he adjusted his approach. He kissed her as it fell to the floor near the bed. The hand that cupped her cheek trailed down her neck, then her chest, pressing her backwards to encourage her to lay back again. He pulled his hands reverently over her pale skin until his hands met at her waist once more.

He popped the button and lowered the zipper of her jeans, then ran his hands over her legs. He pulled at the ankles of her jeans. Shepard giggled as she lifted her hips and shimmied the waistband down a bit. Eventually, he yanked the denim free, sending them sailing who knows where. He caught her ankle in one hand and pressed a kiss to the bony protrusion there, then to her calf and the inside of her knee. Once he let go of her leg, her thighs fell open in an unspoken invitation he would never decline. His fingers traced the curve of supple muscle and sparsely scarred skin.

The signs of her confrontation with Saren stood out now that he could see almost every inch of her. The purplish tone of bruising crept around her hip and around her opposite shoulder. Ranging in severity from papercut to needing multiple stitches, scratches and gashes scattered among the field of freckles that dotted her fair, but scarred skin. He touched her with care, resolving to avoid those bruised and injured spots he'd noticed. Kissing her belly again, he pressed his whole hand between her legs over the thin white fabric of her panties.

Her hips shifted beneath his touch as an intoxicated sigh left her lips. He pressed his mouth hard into the curve where her thigh met her hip, kissing first, then sucking gently.

"Oh, hell," she breathed, her fingers teasing at his hair.

Lavishing kisses over her stomach and legs, he finally pressed his mouth against the soft, utilitarian cotton covering her clit. That earned him a shudder punctuated with an incoherent cry. His cock throbbed in his trousers, straining against the tight confines. Joker grabbed the waistband and inched her panties downward, Shepard lifted her hips, then raised her legs up together. He bowed his head and nipped her round bottom and placed kisses up the back of her thigh as he discarded of this last shred of fabric covering her.

He grinned up at her from between her legs when they lowered, knees opening as she unabashedly displayed her pussy to him. He held her gaze as he inched forward, his breath teasing over her. One of her hands cupped her breast, the other lay over her belly and she stared.

He let his gaze fall, move greedily over every inch of her, settling between her legs before flicking back up at her face. "You're fucking gorgeous."

"Jeff," she said.

"Yes?" he mumbled, breath skimming over sensitive flesh.

She shuddered. "Don't tease."

He dipped his head, his lips landing at the juncture of her hip, just left of where he was certain she wanted him. All the same, she moaned as he sucked a kiss there, then he looked back up at her. "You seemed to enjoy the teasing the other night."

"Please. I want you to touch me."

"But I want to taste you," he told her before dipping his head and dragging a long lick between her labia. A moment later he pressed his tongue between her folds, just like he had when he kissed her mouth, and traced her raging pink flesh with the tip of it. It curled back into his mouth. He hummed as he savored the hint of her musk tingling along his taste buds, it mixed deliciously with the keening of her moan that still echoed in his ears.

He did it again, and again, finally adding a languorous suckle at her clit. The feel of her fingers in his hair, the sight of her hands teasing her own breasts, the taste of her pussy as he thrust his tongue into her all pushed him deeper into a frenzy of lust. He pulled away from her decadent flesh long enough to push his fingers into his mouth. His moment of distraction didn't go unnoticed. Her emerald eyes, pupils blown wide, were on him when he looked back up at her.

Her lips parted with panting breaths. Joker smirked at her as he teased her clit with the pad of his middle finger. She cooed at him, still staring as the digit inched lower. When he worked it into her, those beautiful eyes slipped closed as her head pressed back against the mattress. He pulled it out and pressed it deeper as his lips clasped around the pert bundle of nerves at the apex. He kept up his keen attentions until her hips rocked despite the quivering tension in her muscles as she tried to keep her body from reacting to his machinations. Eventually, she lost out completely to the sensations he created, which was precisely his intention. Her hips rocked against his face, fucking his tongue and fingers with as much agency as he put into making her come.

Joker liked that she wasn't afraid to take or take part in her own pleasure. It made him desperate for more. Her body clamped down on his fingers.

"Don't stop," she gasped when he slowed his motions. Her request changed that, and he held his pace steady. "Oh, fuck. Jeff," she crooned, her hand tightening in his hair as her body jerked and shook against the bed. He lapped at her clit, which pulsed gently beneath his tongue. As she began to still, he pressed a kiss on her pelvis, then up the inside of her thigh before he shifted and lay on his side next to her.

He barely even settled against the sheets when she turned toward him. Her hand skimming his cheek, she kissed him greedily. He knew she'd taste herself on his tongue, and that low hum in her throat as the kiss deepened reverberated down his spine.

She curled up against him. Lazy kisses accompanied the swift, dexterous movements of her hands as she bared his chest. But she didn't stop there, even though her lips moved to taste his neck and press pecks across his chest.

He groaned into her fiery red hair when her hand slipped into his trousers again. Soft fingers stroked his velvety length with slow deliberation while he struggled to loosen the straps on his boots. Eventually they fell to the floor with a heavy thunk. Her free hand pushed at his pants, but for the most part she left him to get them off all on his own, concentrating her attention on teasing him.

-2-

"On your back," she muttered against his mouth. Her fingers twirled around the head of his cock before stroking down his length again.

As Joker shifted, he pulled his shirt off. Shepard had her mouth around him before his bare back hit the mattress. "Damnit," he hissed as she pressed her lips tight around his shaft.

His hands found their way into her hair, gathering it up into one hand so he could see her face as she sucked his cock. Whenever her eyes flashed up to his face, she found him staring at her mouth opened, almost as if he was in shock. Though she wasn't sure what surprised him most—who was sucking his cock, or the fact that she was good at it. A salty hint of precum danced across her tongue. She hummed taking him deeper into her mouth.

His cursing mostly shifted to gasps and excited hisses. But she didn't have his patience. His cock fell from her lips with a pop and his eyes snapped to hers again.

"I want to feel you," she explained without a trace of apology in her admission. She'd wanted it since that night before Ilos, maybe longer. She crawled up his body leaving a trail of wet kisses that ended at his mouth. She nestled his cock against her, shifting her hips against him.

She hadn't planned for this. She didn't have protection. "Do you have a condom?"

His jaw dropped, like he couldn't believe he hadn't thought that far in advance either.

"I was tested a month ago, and I've been on birth control since I enlisted."

"Same."

Shepard couldn't help the chuckle that bubbled up.

"No birth control, but clean bill of health, I mean," he told her his hand moving toward his wrist as if he was going to pull up the records to show her.

"Is this okay then?" she asked, stilling atop him though she could still feel the heat of him nestled against her slick flesh.

"Yeah. If you're comfortable."

Shepard shifted herself against his length, rolling her hips when the tip of his cock nudged her clit. "Yeah," she said against his mouth before she kissed him. She groaned into his mouth as she rocked against him—warm and hard, the feel of him made her tingle again.

Joker grabbed her ass and squeezed, hard. Shepard hissed in pain, pulling her mouth away from his.

"Oh shit," he gasped, when he noticed discomfort contorting her countenance. "I'm sorry," he said, as she peeled his hand from her bruised hip. "I forgot."

"It's okay," she breathed, finally catching her breath again

He leaned up and pressed a kiss between her breasts. "I'll be more careful."

And almost instantly his touch reflected that cautious shift. Even his lips moved with a renewed gentle type of reverence as he embraced her. It was an interesting idea, him being gentle with her. He was the one with glass bones, she thought realizing just how little she had thought about that since they fell onto the bed together.

She rocked her hips against his, a demonstrative motion. "Is this position okay?"

Joker leaned his chin against her sternum and stared up at her. He shifted his body beneath her. "Fuck, I'd love to watch you ride me."

"No, I mean. The bouncing. I don't want to hurt you."

He chuckled at her. "This isn't my first rodeo. Unless you decide to take a flying leap, or punch me in the face, there's not much to worry about."

She laid her hands on his chest, shifting her weight to pop her hips against his. "This, too?"

He took her hands and set them on the mattress just over his shoulders. "This would probably be a little better."

"Okay. I'll remember that," she assured him.

"Now, are you just going to tease me the rest of the night?" he asked, raising his hips to press against her heated flesh.

"Maybe." She folded over him again, meeting his lips.

One hand squeezed her unbruised side, his other hand cradling the back of her neck, keeping her lips close. Every time she moved against him, she felt him shift and she was nearly certain he sought an angle that would get him inside her. Shepard snaked a hand between them, wrapping it around his cock. She stroked him as she drew the tip of him through her wet folds. Since he said he wanted to watch, she sat up again. Propping up one leg, she copied the movement again, drawing a circle around her clit with his tip before guiding it to her entrance.

Watch, he did. He groaned when she sank down on him, but she didn't go far before retreating once more. She did want to tease him, and she did, inching her way down his cock until he nestled deep inside her with a pleasant stretch.

Joker's hand glided up her arm, pulling gently when it neared her uninjured shoulder, but it worked to get her to lay against him again. Their mouths met in a deep kiss as they moved in tandem.

"You're so fucking wet," he grumbled against her mouth.

"Totally your fault," she told him on a breathy giggle.

"Didn't hear you complaining."

"Never. That clever tongue of yours is good for more than just a smart-ass comment." She gasped when he thrust into her with a sharp and unexpected snap of his hips.

"Oh, you don't even know," he said, keeping her from replying by pushing his tongue into her mouth. She sucked at it, pressing her own against his.

She guessed he might just be telling the truth, and heaven help her, she wanted to find out every single way he could use it. The friction of their bodies brought her to the edge again. And breaking another frenzied kiss, she sat up once more. Her hair fell around her shoulders, as she pressed her hands to her own thighs for leverage to avoid putting too much pressure on his chest. As she ground herself on his cock, he pulled his thumb across his tongue. When she saw it, her brain didn't register it at first, at least not until it pressed between her thighs.

"Fuck," she exhaled.

"Don't stop," he told her. "Come for me."

He didn't move his thumb much, just kept it where the rock of her hips would do all the work. But it did inspire her pace to quicken gradually.

"Damn, you're gorgeous." He sounded in awe. "So fucking tight."

Her breathing shook in her chest as she met his firm gaze. Knowing he was watching her made her skin feel like it might just catch fire. His free hand reached up and pinched one of her hard nipples; he didn't let it go but gave it a gentle tug. She moved faster, racing toward her orgasm because she wanted to do just what he asked. She wanted to come for him, on him—wanted to feel him reach that point as well.

Their breathing came faster and louder, until it was more moans than anything else. "Jeff," she said, aiming to warn him. "God. Fuck." Her nails dug into her thighs as the smooth serpentine motion of her body focused right in her hips. The pressure built there between her legs, finally bursting with a keening moan. She twitched and writhed against him, barely noticing the change in sensation.

"Damnit, Leah," he grunted, his own hips snapping hard against her as his cock thickened a bit more.

She rode them through it, grinding her body against him as she orgasmed, and he pulsed inside her, filling her. She was still shuddering when his fingers skimmed lightly over her thighs. She didn't collapse onto him with abandon, it was more of a controlled fall. His arms circled her, pulling her close as she dotted gentle kisses along his neck. Finally, her lips pressed against his as she threaded her fingers through his short hair.

With no desire to move or separate from him, Leah Shepard knew one thing for certain in that moment. This would happen again, and uniform be damned, she wanted it. Wanted him.