Love You To Death

Author's Note: Hi guys, this is my first fan fic - eee! - and it's a Glee one, basically it's mainly a Ryley love story with other relationships entwined. It's not chronological and it might take you a while to figure out what's going on. It isa school shooting. OK, I spoiled everything. Tell me what you think and I'll write another one if you want more

Prologue

I loved Jake Puckerman from the first day I met him at McKinley, I was sure of it. I wasn't entirely sure what so bewilderingly attracted me to Jake, I just knew. This was my first love, could it be true love?

Then, one day, completely out of the blue, this new guy showed up. He was really friendly and kind to me; we chatted a lot even outside of Glee Club and one day he told me he thought I was pretty. To be honest, unlike with Jake, it didn't feel rushed or awkward. I loosened up around this boy; he was a good friend to me. Of course, there was always this spine-tingling sensation between us that just made me so immensely attracted to him. I called him at night and he was eager to listen, I could tell him almost anything, there was definitely a revolving romantic occurrence between us. Could the second time you fall in love be true?

9am, 13 January 2013

'OK, guys,' Mr Schue began, with his Sharpie in motion, 'this week's theme is-'

BANG!

And that's where it all began.

Rachel

'Do I really need Finn anymore, Kurt?' I asked my hair sprayed gay roommate with his gorgeous red-purple cravat as we gazed at the view of the setting New York sun from our rooftop apartment.

'Rachel-'

'Yes, yes, I know it's a foregone conclusion that we'll end up together, but what if, what if, you know, he gets in the way of my dreams, NYADA?'

'Rachel, Finn only wants what's best for you, it's in his best interests. But if you really feel he's going to prevent you from achieving your dreams.' He then gave me a lingering stare. 'And not via voicemail!'

'OK, OK,' I sighed. I guess it was in Kurt's best interests too to want the best for me but I wish he could understand more about how Finn and I are stronger as a couple if we don't discuss our problems. With people like Jesse I found it easier to discuss our problems and that strengthened us. Hell, give me the chance and maybe Jesse and I could reconcile, because that's what we did and it made us a couple. Maybe I still want our relationship today. Only Finn feels like a strain and we both know it and I can't see love conquering all here.

I sat upright in my bed, phone in hand. There, drafted out on the screen before me, was my text to Finn, which summed up just about everything I longed to say to him.

Hi Finn,

How's Lima? New York's great by the way. Look Finn I need to say something here. I think that you & I are not going to work out. I think we should take a break to work things out. The long distance does not help. OK, I just think we should see other people. Not an official break up, but on a break.

Rachel xoxo

I stared bluntly at those three heartbreaking lines of text. I never thought I would have to end a relationship by text (well, sort of). No, I couldn't break the heart of the man I had loved for too long.

Hi Finn,

How's Lima? New York's great by the way. Can't wait for you to come and visit. I hope you're enjoying your new job as co-director of the New Directions! Congrats! Say hi to Brittany, Sam, Tina and Artie for me!

Rachel xoxo

I hesitated for a moment, then reluctantly pressed Send.

Dad

One of my first memories – and only memory of my dad – is when I was little, two or three. My mom is prepping dinner and my dad's just arrived home. 'Hi, honey.'

'Hey, sweetheart.'

'What's for dinner?'

'S-sweetheart, there's a-a red stain on your shirt…'

'Oh, it's probably just ketchup or something, me and the guys-'

'I-it's lipstick! Y-you…'

'Millie, I can expla-'

'You can do all the explaining you like, Mister, just not under my roof.'

'Millie, please-'

'Get out! Get your stuff and get out! And don't you even think about touching Marley!'

In the next part of it, he's packed up. He shamefully leaves, hanging his head. He kisses Mom on the cheek and me on the forehead. He whispers, 'I'll come and find you one day, Marls,' and then he leaves.

Whatever happened to my Dad?

'Finn, please!'

'No, not please. You've been lying to me about my dad, my own flesh and blood. You don't deserve a pardon!'

'Finn, I know your anger sometimes get the better of you-'

'Yes, Mom, yes it is. But don't you – the cowardly liar – feel I have a right to be angry?!'

'So what, you wanted me to tell you your father was a drug addict and died of an overdose?'

'Well, it's the truth!'