Vacation
An Artemis Fowl ONESHOT
By: Indigo March
Note: Just my take on how Arty would react to his family taking a vacation—in HAWAII!
"I feel like an idiot, father."
Artemis Fowl Senior looked up from his newspaper at his son, who was tugging at the collar of his Hawaiian shirt and looking extremely out of place in Bermuda shorts, being such a pale young man.
"I think you look adorable, Arty!" his mother, Angeline Fowl said, applying sunscreen to his younger brother Beckett. Myles was already down at the beach, building a well-structured sand model of the Taj Mahal and receiving envious glares from the other kids on the beach.
"I feel like…like a ninny-hammer!" Artemis said, for lack of a better word.
His father raised an eyebrow. "A ninny-hammer?"
Artemis shrugged. "The glare of the sun reflecting off the water must be frying my brain."
Angeline sighed. "I wish you would be less of a genius and more of a boy, Artemis. Even sometimes."
"Artemis, your mother is right. I suggest you start acting more like a child and less like a genius, at least for as long as we are on this trip. Now go down to the beach and help your brothers create a sand fort."
"And have fun, dearest!" Angeline called after him as Artemis led Beckett towards the stairs that lead down to the beach.
"How come Artemis doesn't like to play?" Beckett asked, jumping from the last few steps and onto the sand neatly. Artemis was much more refined in his descent.
"Because playing is for simpletons."
"Simple-toons?" Beckett repeated with a grin.
Artemis chuckled. "Yes, Beckett. Simple-toons."
Beckett laughed happily and ran over to his brother, tackling Myles to the ground. Artemis allowed himself a fond little smile directed at his brothers as he walked over to them. As they played around near the water, he studied Myles' Taj Mahal, impressed with the near-flawless structure. His two year old (or two-and-a-half, as they kept reminding him) brothers were turning out to be quite the little geniuses. He had to be careful, or they might outsmart him someday.
Artemis folded his hands into the pockets of his Bermuda shorts, looking out across the bright water. Butler and Juliet were surfing as if they were professionals, receiving envious glares themselves—and for Juliet, some very interested ones from idiot hormonal native boys. He must remember to tell the beautiful young sister of his manservant Butler to be careful while they were here in Hawaii.
"Artemis, help us build the Eiffel tower!" Myles beckoned, already on his hands and knees in the sand, the all too familiar spark in his eyes that meant his mind was calculating the blueprints of the famously tall structure in Paris, France.
Artemis sighed, the idea of getting his hands all sandy still unappealing. Beckett and Myles stared up at him with puppy-dog eyes.
"Please, Artemis?" Beckett said, knowing his brother would relent if their eyes got any wider and innocent.
Artemis sighed. "Fine, but just this once."
"Yes!" the twins said together, slapping hands in a high-five.
"First we start with the base—"
"Of course, of course!" said Myles. "A smaller structure, though. Reducing the size…."
Artemis finally allowed himself to beam with pride at his two younger brothers. He allowed himself to reach out and ruffle their hair.
"It will approximately be ten feet high in it's reduced size," Beckett said, Myles nodding his head in agreement. "Does Artemis agree?"
The twins looked up at their brother's towering frame.
"Yeah—" he cleared his throat. "I mean, yes. Excellent work, Professor Beckett and Professor Myles. I expect construction to be done in record time?"
"Yessir," said Beckett promptly as Myles saluted. "Nice touch, Myles!"
"Thank you, Beckett!"
They both giggled and Artemis shook his head, a small smile on his face as he began to help his brothers build the Eiffel Tower.
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