Reaching For It: Melissa (Kimiko Kama)
Sequel to A Higher Love
Cloe rushed through the City streets, the dark sky nipping at her feet. She needed to get home, back to Hemi before Salene worried. She heard thunder rolling in the background. A storm was the last thing she needed. Tonight she had had a date, a tonight it had been the same the guy was a creep. Two years of creeps, that's all she ever had since Hemi was born and she started dating. She wanted more. She wanted that love no one else could find and if anything she wanted to be happy. Was she asking too much? She passed a shady street vendor who was always out trying to sell something. "Buy a necklace," he shouted at Cloe. "Buy a necklace to seduce your lover." Lover, didn't he hear; if you're a mother lovers weren't easy to come by, so why would she need to seduce? She shook the thought from her head and noticed her surroundings. Good, she thought, only a block, only a block before she was back with her baby.
Cloe walked into the Mall and easily lifted the grid. Someone must be still up. She hoped it wasn't because of hemi; he had a fear of thunder and lightening on top of his fear of the dark and the ocean. He's first word were 'no' when she tried to take him to the beach. Cloe gently walked up the steps in her heavy heeled boots. She wasn't surprised when she heard Hemi 'talking' to he's Uncle Jay. Cloe walked over and locked the grid. "Sorry I was late coming in."
Oh, its ok, Hemi and I are discussing the reasons why thunder is bad."
"And what did you say?" She smiled picking up her son.
"Really bad!" Hemi managed to get out before another boom sounded.
Cloe stroked his back protectively, soothing him as he trembled and took him to bed. He feel asleep easily exhausted from his fears and mesmerized by his red balloon night light. Cloe went back out to the cafe to clean up Hemi's things. She noticed Jay had done most of the work. "Jay you don't have to do that, I mean, you do enough."
"I know; just helping out." He continued to clean.
Cloe grabbed his hand. "Jay it's ok; I can this you go rest."
He sank in the chair still holding her hand. "I don't know what I did wrong." He said referring to Amber. A few months ago she had simply dropped a box in front of him and said she couldn't fake it anymore. He had been bewildered but acted as if it didn't phase him.
Cloe managed to pull a chair near and sit while still holding his hand. "Jay you didn't do anything wrong. Amber was just acting crazy is all."
"I know you're right Cloe." Jay sighed. He looked up and stopped, staring at Cloe. "How old are you?"
She laughed. "What? I'm about seventeen or eighteen, why?"
"You just seem a little older."
"Jay that's something you don't say to most girls, but I'll take it as a compliment."
Jay smirked. "Thanks, I'm sorry I said it."
Cloe smiled, for a moment she was at a lost of words. Suddenly a thought hit her. She quickly pulled her hand from Jay's and rushed to put all of Hemi's things in his basket. "Get some rest tonight Jay, Hemi's going to want to hear more Techno stories tomorrow."
Jay stood. "Doesn't he always?" He said jokingly
Cloe nodded and walked hurriedly to her room skipping their usual good night hug.
Two weeks later Cloe was working in the kitchen trying to clean up, but she was feeling worse off then usual and the reason for it was Jay. She had finally admitted her feeling only the other day, but now she felt as if pushing Jay away before that was a mistake because now their relationship was strained. She wanted to explain how she felt but every time she was about to thoughts of her time with Pride popped in her head and she would quickly close her mouth. After being rejected twice she didn't want to be rejected again, and she didn't want Jay to turn into another creep.
Lost in her thoughts Cloe didn't notice Salene walk in with Hemi. "Cloe are you alright, you're not sick or anything?"
"Oh no, no I'm just going to finish this up and then put Hemi to bed."
"So do you want me to leave him here?" Salene asked sitting down the half sleeping child.
Cloe nodded and watch as Hemi slept on the table. Salene then waved and went her own room. After finally finishing Cloe heard someone enter the Mall. "Busy day?"
"Oh so you're talking to me?"
She looked up. "Of coarse Jay, why wouldn't I?"
"Well you've been avoiding I thought t was something I did."
"No, it was just me." Cloe sighed. "Jay do you think you can keep an eye out for Hemi?"
"Who is it tonight?"
"I'm just going out."
"Cloe you go out a lot." Jay said exhausted.
"Jay I hardly ever go out on my own. I just want some time to think to myself, is that ok?" She asked a little heated.
"Well, you have a son, why can't you be a mother for him."
"I am a mother. Hemi doesn't complain."
"Hemi is only two he doesn't know how to complain!"
"You're being unfair, Jay! I am a good mother and I have worked my butt off for him. I just need some time to myself, an hour!"
"Why don't you just stay home?"
Cloe sighed. "Jay you've never complained about going out, so what is different now?"
"Nothing is different, I'm just telling you how I feel."
"No your not!" Cloe half screamed trying to not wake Hemi. They stared at each other after this. Jay was unable to respond. Cloe breaking the silence threw down the cleaning cloth and walking over to Hemi picked him up and walked to her room. When she was almost out of the room she turned. "When you're ready to talk Jay, you know where I stay." And with that she left.
After putting Hemi to bed Cloe stared at herself in the mirror. She felt guilty. Maybe she had been too harsh with Jay. She knew he was looking out for her safety and he was the only one who actually knew Hemi's father. She couldn't just throw Jay aside like that because she had feelings for him. Sighing Cloe started washing the make-up from her face. If only things would have been normal for her she wouldn't have this problem. Cloe stared at her plain face. She looked old; she felt old. She was tired and in love with little chance of getting the guy. Cloe started to cry.
"Cloe what's wrong?"
Cloe looked at the reflection in the mirror to see Jay behind her. she wiped the tears away quickly, "Nothing, just exhausted."
"Cloe you're a bad liar, what's up?" Jay placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Were you thinking of Ved again?" Jay referred to the days when Hemi was first born and Cloe would burst into tears while holding him because he looked so much like Ved.
"No, I'm just being foolish. I was thinking about what I said to you; it wasn't fair to accuse you of not speaking your mind when you've been nothing but honest to me."
"No Cloe you were right I wasn't telling you how I really felt. I was exhausted and I guess I got carried away when you said you where going out."
Cloe pulled the pins out of her hair letting it fall down her back. Jay's touch was getting to her. She had to do something get her mind off it. "I understand the feeling; it happens."
"So do you want me to keep an ear open for Hemi?" He smiled weakly.
"No, I decided it's best to stay in and I don't feel like reapplying my make-up." She grinned.
He smiled. "Ok then good night Cloe."
"Good night." She hugged him. "I love you so much I don't want us to fight any--." Cloe stopped pulling away from Jay staring at him in shock.
He returned the look. "What did you say?"
"Uh, I'm sorry Jay I didn't mean---" Jay cut her off kissing her on the lips. He pulled away both unsure of what to do next. "Jay...?"
"Yes, I love you."
She smiled. "Err...wow...I had better go to bed...now, or I won't be able to get up in the morning."
"Yeah...night Cloe." He kissed her on the cheek and back out of the room.
Several Months passed after that evening and Jay and Cloe grew closer. Many of the others didn't know how to deal with it but the closeness and comfort they had with each other soon eased everyone's minds. Hemi was especially happy with the couple as he already thought of Jay as more of a father then an uncle and quickly settled into calling him Daddy.
One night Cloe sat in the nursery that Hemi started sleeping in. Salene had mentioned that it was time for Hemi to try with out his nightlight and that rooming in the nursery with Brady and Baby Bray might help. Cloe was hesitant as was Hemi when on the first night Brady pulled out the night light with the frank statement, "NO LIGHT!" So since then Cloe sat with Hemi until he scared himself into exhaustion and went to sleep. That particular evening Cloe was in a half daze and ready to sleep herself. Seeing Hemi's steady breathing she moved to get up but heard him whimpering and sunk back down into the chair. She pulled out one of the children books and turning on a near by lamp started reading Ashputile, a favorite of Brady's.
Deep into the plot of poor Ashputile and her evil stepsisters Cloe hardly noticed Jay walk into the room. "Hey..."
She looked up."Oh hey..."
He pulled a chair close to her. "What are you reading?"
"Ashputile...how was your day?"
"Uneventful...is Hemi asleep yet?"
"No...Not yet, he has five and then I'm leaving him in here."
Jay nodded and then looking at her he smiled. "You know I love you Cloe?"
"Of coarse Jay," She hesitated. "Is there something wrong?"
"No, no...I was just wondering if you ever thought Ved in that way anymore."
"No, Jay, not in that way. Jay what's wrong you never worried about my feelings for Ved before?"
"Uh...You know I want to be there for you Hemi right?"
"Yes Jay, buy you're being silly. You have always been there for me and Hemi even when I know I didn't deserve it."
"Well, would you marry me if I asked?"
"Are you asking?" She put the book back were she found it.
"Yes Cloe, I'm asking you to marry me, will you?"
Cloe looked at Jay. She loved him but marriage was the last thing she had ever thought of. She had been reckless once before, but could she afford to do it again?
"Yes, Jay."
Two days later Cloe stood in front of a full length mirror brushing down her wedding dress, a white cocktail dress with off the shoulder straps and delicate lace. She was going to get married, and to a guy who loved her dearly and who she loved back. But she couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was going to happen. Ever since that evening Jay had been acting weird with her; he treated her as if she were some fragile object wanting to do everything for her. Though she liked this treatment she was still some what independent so the idea of him not even letting her go out to get the material for her dress was awkward. Seeing Hemi walking behind her she turned. "What do you think?"
Hemi smiled. "Mommy pretty."
"Thank you, sweetie." She picked him up and headed out to the café. As she walked toward the stairs something at the grid caught her eye. "Now what is that?" She breathed to Hemi. Holding her son close she walked to the grid. Suddenly someone jumped out in front of her.
"Hey!"
"Holy Cra—MAN, Jay" Cloe exclaimed glancing at Hemi.
"Did I scare you?" Jay laughed.
She kissed him on the cheek. "Yes; I'm so freaked I might not be able to get married this afternoon."
"I've made it this far; I'm getting married whether you like it or not."
She laughed. "Good me too..." She hugged him awkwardly still holding Hemi in her arms. Then looking over her shoulder she saw someone at the grid. "Jay, who is that?" She pointed to the stranger at the grid.
Jay turned looking at who was the grid. He was a ragged and he's hair was long and blonde. He looked old at first glance like someone who was suffering from the virus but after a moment of watching him it was easy to tell that he was actually young and even handsome. Jay walked to the grid. "What do you want?"
"I want in."
Cloe walked closer. "Who are you?" She said with some authority.
The guy looked at her for a moment and turned back to Jay. "Just let me in, Jay."
Jay looked at him. "How do you know my name?"
"Unfortunately no one can forget their siblings."
Cloe stopped registering this last statement. "NO," she screamed holding Hemi who was starting to cry in confusion. "Jay, don't let him any here."
Jay sighed. "I have to he's my brother." Jay opened the grid for Ved letting him in.
"Hello Cloe."
"You stay away from me and my son."
Ved looked at the little boy and then turned to Jay. "Thanks, I'm only staying for a bit and then moving on. I don't want to start anything."
Jay smiled. "As always you have excellent timing. You'll be here for my wedding."
"Who Ebony, She's actually marrying you?"
"Not quiet."
Cloe made a small sound clearing her throat. Ved turned only to glance but then taking in the white dress stopped. She gave him a smug smile and walked away. "Time for Hemi's nap." She called over her shoulder.
Ved turned back to his brother. "YOU'RE MARRYING HER!"
Jay sighed in annoyance. "Yes."
"You've sunken to a new low, and I bet that brat's yours too! That's it your marrying her cause you got her pregnant kind of late don't you think?"
"SHUT IT VED!"
"Yeah, that's it, because Cloe would never marry a stiff shirt like you."
Jay punched Ved knocking him to the ground. Ved yelled grabbing his noise and looking up at Jay. "I said shut it."
Cloe walked down the steps seeing Ved on the ground she walked over a bit concerned. "What happened to you?"
Jay looked at her. "He couldn't keep quite."
Ved stood reviling he's bloody nose. "More like you punched me!"
Cloe looked around but knew everyone was out getting last minute things. She sighed. "Fine, follow me I'll help clean you up." She led him up the stairs to her room pulling out her health kit she had put together when Hemi started walking.
Jay stood at the door. "Do you need any help?"
"No I got it, she smiled."
"Ok, I'll go check on Hemi."
She nodded turning back to her kit, opening it her hovered slightly over the gentle or the hardcore disinfectant. Finally she decided on the hardcore disinfectant and some swabs to clean him up. "Here this might burn." She tapped his nose.
He jumped back. "CLOE THAT BURNS!"
"It's the least you deserve. Now sit down so I can put this on you and you can get out of my sit!"
He sat on a chair opposite her. "So do you and Jay share this room?"
"No Jay has he's own room."
"You wanted it that way?"
"No he did."
Ved nodded looking behind Cloe at a picture of her Hemi and Jay on her nightstand, "Cute kid."
"Thanks. Look can you please stop the chit chat so I can finish this, but because frankly you have nothing to say to me."
"Actually I do; I came here to see you."
"Didn't seem like it."
"What'd it seem like?"
"It seemed like you came here to start trouble; I'm trying to filter the trouble out of my life thank you."
"No, I came here to tell you something."
She sighed. "What Ved?"
"Shella's dead."
She stopped wiping he's nose and looked at him. "I'm sorry Ved; she was a good person, and the baby?" He shook his head. She sighed going back to cleaning he's nose. "Why did you need to tell me that?"
"She had a message for you? She said she was sorry."
"I'm over it. What happened; how did she die?"
"It was the child bearing; she couldn't handle it. I lost her and the baby."
"I'm sorry Ved. You must have really loved her."
"I did, but that day you came I realized I still loved you too."
She shook her head slowly. "Ved don't do this to me, not on my wedding day."
He grabbed her hand. "I have to Cloe Shella told me I had to tell you everything."
She jerked her hand loose standing. "You don't understand! I'm getting married..."
"To my BROTHER!"
"You have no claim on my life, Ved. Neither me nor Hemi!"
"WHY, WOULD I CARE ABOUT YOUR BRAT?!"
Cloe slapped him. "He's your BRAT, Ved. Remember, that sweet night of closure, oh yes Ved Hemi is unfortunately your son!"
Holding his jaw Ved looked at Cloe ready to say something when Jay entered holding Hemi. "What going on you woke Hemi?"
"Daddy, mommy yelling."
"Yeah, I'm trying to figure out why Hemi."
"It's nothing Jay." Cloe sighed.
"Are you sure?"
Ved's face screwed up in anger. "YEAH, now will you give us a minute?"
Cloe looked at Jay quickly seeing the anger on his face. "Jay please, only a few more minutes."
Jay nodded carrying Hemi out of the room.
Ved turned back to Cloe. "If he's my son why does he call Jay 'Daddy'?"
"Because, he's more of a father then you were and Hemi loves him."
"You know what I don't believe you. You got knocked up somewhere and you are trying to blame it on me."
"Oh so you're saying we didn't have sex that night?"
"No, but you could have been with anyone."
"Oh yeah while I was madly in love with you and trying to find you I had to yield to my animal urges and jump on any man willing."
"Possible"
"GET REAL VED, HEMI'S YOURS AND YOU KNOW IT!"
"What if he were mine, would you acknowledge it?"
"What do you mean, I already do?"
"No, I mean let me be his father."
"Ved, you weren't here the day he was born, the day he started walking the day he first said Mommy. You don't know that he's afraid of the dark, Thunder storms, or that he's mortified of the ocean and large bodies of water. He's my son and you, Ved, you were never there."
"I was never given a chance. It wasn't like I knew about him."
"Would you have come if you did?" Ved looked at her hesitantly. She sighed, exactly. Now, come here so I can finish your nose and be on my way."
Ved walked back toward her sitting back into the chair. After a moment he sighed. "Cloe, I probably wouldn't have come, but things are different. I'm different."
"You've changed?"
"I've grown Cloe."
"Really, I have no proof of this so far. All you managed to do is interrupt my wedding day and get punched in the nose. Ved if you want to prove to me you're going to have to do better." Finishing his nose Cloe stood and walked back to the kit on her dresser to get e bandage.
"Cloe, I love you."
Cloe stopped. "I said don't do this, Ved."
He stood. "It's the truth, Clo. I thought I could trick myself into not loving you but I was wrong. A few weeks after you left Shella's old boyfriend came around. That's when we both realized we couldn't do this. She fell back in love and left me. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to come after you but I couldn't leave Shella and the baby."
"Shella was several months along why couldn't you come afterwards."
"After the baby I started to realize it would take a lot more then what had then to get you back." Ved sighed. "The tribe was falling apart everyone was at each other's throat and then Shella's old boyfriend started taking over. More people wanted to follow him, so I left, but I didn't come here first. I traveled. I needed time to get my thoughts together to make myself better because I knew the way I treated you wasn't right."
"You're right Ved the way you treated me wasn't right and I don't think I could ever forgive you for that. I loved you and you betrayed me; you lead me on. I trusted you Ved something I don't think I could ever do again."
"Cloe just give me another chance!"
"No Ved, I'm marrying Jay. He loves me and I love him!"
Ved walked toward her standing so close he could smell the soap she was wearing. "Do you really love Jay? Do you love him the way you loved me. Would you leave your tribe for him? You may be marrying him. But it doesn't take love for a person to get married." He leaned passed her taking a bandage and then nodding once he walked out of her room.
Cloe turned back to her mirror. He loved her, but that didn't matter. She wouldn't, no she couldn't return the love. She had done that once and he stepped on it. But he had been through so much. Maybe he had grown. He had come back hadn't he? He admitted that everything was a mistake. He had suffered enough. Cloe felt confused. She didn't need this she was getting married. She loved Jay, but there was apart of her growing every second that was longing for Ved. She knew he had his mistakes but he was actually working on that. He was becoming the man she needed. But wasn't Jay a man already, or the real question, was he the man for her? She looked at her reflection in the mirror. She had to face it. She loved Ved.
Rushing out of her room Cloe tried to move in her heeled shoes. If only she could catch up with Ved. She walked down the steps trying to make it to the grid, but when she got there the grid was open and Ved was gone.
Cloe stood there stunned. She could go after him but she knew she would never find him once he walked down that street and turned the corner. And then what would she do. Bring him back to the Mall take Hemi away and throw everything back in Jay's face. She may love Ved but she still felt for Jay. She couldn't hurt him like that.
"He's gone?" Jay asked standing behind her.
She turned. "Yes" Jay sighed. "Jay I'm sorry I know he is your brother."
"It's not that, I was afraid he was going to take you away from me."
"Take me away from you...." Cloe paused. He almost had. "Jay, don't think like that ok."
Jay wrapped his arms around Cloe bringing her close. "Cloe you mean so much to me, that I want you to be happy, and if that means being with Ved you can."
Cloe looked up at him. "Really?" He nodded. "Well...I don't want Ved. I want to marry you. Cloe buried her face into his chest as he kissed the top of her head. She would always love Ved, but she had to reach for that higher love, and Jay could be it. There was going to be no turning back. Ved was gone, but Jay was still here, so she would love him the way he deserved.
The End