This was originally written for comment_fic over at livejournal
The prompt was J/D "How much pain are you in?"
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"How much pain are you in?""What do you think, Daniel?"
"Ooh sorry, that was my bad."
"You think!?"
"It just seemed really romantic when I pictured it in my head. You know, a pool of bright blue light in front of us, setting the mood."
"Yeah, well, did your fantasies involve alien invaders trying to sneak through the gate while we were screwing?"
"Of course not, Jack."
"And did these romantic fantasies involve me falling off the control center while shooting them and tearing an arm ligament in the process?!"
"Of course not, Jack."
"And did these little fantasies of yours involve Carter and Teal'c and the General rushing in to see what the matter was and finding me on the floor, howling in pain, with my pants around my ankles?!"
"Hardly ever."
"Dammit, Daniel. We aren't trying your fantasies any more! From now on it's about ME ME ME."
"Yeah, that'll be a big change."
"What was that?"
"Nothing. Come on, let me help you to the infirmary."