Well folks. My third fanfiction. I know, I know, I have'nt finished any of my other ones... But I keep getting hit with this monstrous wave of inspiration. This one came while hearing about this vote for all these new SSBB characters. Can you believe Sonic and Megaman made it? Honestly. They are, for some reason, completely out of place in Super Smash Bros. Maybe it their appearance style. But, I despise them entirely. So, this story is about what I would do if chosen to select the characters for a Super Smash Bros Game. Super Smash Bros Brawl, get ready to become Super Smash Bros Insanity. Enjoy, peeps. Hee hee. The "teenager" is only in the first series of chapters, that I like to call, the Disposal series. He greatly impacts the rest of the story, by"cutting"afew characters from the list and "adding" some more.If you can guess whohe is, you are cool. E-mail me your thoughts on my profile page.
The teenager sat in front of the computer, his eyes narrowed and a vein throbbing on his forehead. At the moment, the boy was rage incarnate. For years he had been anticipating the sequel to Super Smash Bros. Melee. And now, being so close toit's release, he now detested the idea. His hack into the Super Smash Bros mainframe had informed him of several of the new additions to the game. With a snarl he flung back in the wheelie chair, and swivelled to a desk covered with blank stationary and rough copies of angry letters sent to numerous corparations.
The teen let an enraged sneer cross his face and began writing the furious letter. He brushed some of his messy brown hair from over his blue green eyes and his hand gripped the pencil with white knuckles, scribbling furiously. Not bothering to make a good copy, he quickly charged up to the local post office, in his trademark T-shirt, with the caption, "You know what your problem is? Your stupid.", and his black jeans, cut off at just below the knees.
The post master looked up with a sigh. He was used to the boy in here. "Who today?" The elderly man asked, an eyebrow raised. "Nintendo." The boy sneered.
"Again? Didn't you send them one for making Ganondorf look weird in Windwaker?" The old man asked.
"Yes, but this is beyond such trivialties as that. They have brought this upon themselves!" The boy preached and slammed the letter on the counter.
The man sighed and looked up the Nintendo mailing address, in Japan. He wrote it neatly on the envelope and wrote the return address. When the reply arrived, if it arrived, (He doubted it, judging by how rude the boys complaint letters tended to be) he would call the boy's house and alert him. He stuck the letter in the mail bag and waved to the boy as he stormed out.
The teen bought the usual Monster Energy drinkat the local variety store and trudged down the gravel road that led to his house. Being on a deserted road, with virtually no neighbors, and living alone, there were many rumors about what went on. He entered the code on the steel door and it slid open. For the next two weeks he looked at the character list for Super Smash Bros. Brawl, sputtering and cursing, fuming and raging, until one day.
The President of the SSB group, unknown to all but the certain teen who sent the letter, was Master Hand. He recieved a lot of material about the upcoming game, usually votes for the character selection. However, that day, there was another letter, which shocked and offended him deeply. With shock, at lunch break he read the contents to his fellow co-worker and brother, Crazy Hand.
"Dear Whomever the fuck is concerned, Hello. I was recently infromed of the proposed character plot for your new game, Super Smash Bros. Brawl. I regret to inform you that it fucking sucks. I idolised your games! IDOLISED! And you shit on my boots! Megaman, Sonic, Paper fucking Mario? Dark Link? Plusl and Minl, (Whom I like to call Craml and Anal) Pit? And thats only a few of the fuckers you've included! What the fuck were you guys thinking!- A concerned fan
PS: Don't expect me to buy tis game unless certain things are remedied.
Master Hand had never been more hurt and shocked in his life. Also unknown to most, Super Smash Bros was also a real series of tournaments that existed in another dimension, where all vidoe games were spawned from. Nintendo had theyre own little cluster, wilst other characters tended to stick with others of theyre companies. Nintendo selected the best figthers and chose them to compete for rewards and treasures beyond imagination. The winner of last years ultimate Melee competition, was Ganondorf, who had used a lot of powerful magic that borderlined illegal and won his way to the top, where he fought Mario for the championship.
It had been a close fight. In the smaller tournaments in between numerous others had beat him, but that wasnt for his title, so he ha dnot tried his fullest. However, he felt that shit luck had saved him last time. Anyways, Master hand was deeply offended, and sent a rather curt reply of his own.
The boy opened the letter eagerly, and his eyes scanned over the letter, becoming narrow and quite bloodshot.
Dear concerned fan. I greatly appreciate your "concern" over the game. However, your opinion does not matter. If I recall, you sent us a list of characters you would like to see in the game. Let me revise them: Majora, Shadowman, Cloud, Sephiroth, Legion, Ganon(A kind of upgrade to Ganondorf, much like Zelda/Shiek) Roy Koopa, and the list grows longer. Some of these characters were in good taste, Majora, for one. But others, are completely ridiculous! Cloud, Sephiroth, and some other Final Fantasy characters! My friend, these are other companies, using them would be an insult ot Nintendo! Same with Shadowman and crew! And all these other obscure characters you include, the list is endless! Your character cut list you sent with your letter is also immense! We simply cannot cut any characters already in the game, or upcoming! Example, you want Ice Climbers, Pichu, and Jigglypuff gone. Also, in your own words, That fucking retarded green dinosaur Yoshi. That is not possible! You are quite retarded, and all letters from you will be burned on site! -Master Hand
The boy stood, crumpling the letter in his hands, his face red with anger he walked over to an immense vault, and turned the combination dial, getting it wrong first in his anger, he quickly jumped back as 1000 needles suddenly covered the area around the vault. They afterwards disintegrated. He stepped back to the lock, and correctly entered the combination. A DNA hand pad slid up, and he placed an open palm upon it. Listlessly the door opened, revealing thousands of weapons, vehicles, and other bsucre things.
A large steel lawnmower with a bumber of razors and high speeds was in the corner, he grabbed a large sheet of paper from the and wrote furiously the names of all the new charactetrs he wanted gone, and all the ones he wanted in. He knew that they based the game off of living individauls in the other dimension, with lives, and jobs and families. However, the ones he despised who dared try to enter SSBB, hehad no mercy for. They dared to offend him, and they would pay.
The list was made, and he pressed a button on the wall, and a vortex of swirling light appeared. The boy let a sadistic grin cross his face. "Should have listened to me, Handy. Now the shit's going to hit the fan." With his arsenal of weapons mysteriosuly following, he stepped through. The biggest incident in history was about to unfold.
I think that was a good introduction to a funny story. The next bunch of chapters, the Disposal chapters, are going to be about some "accidents" that befall the characters on the first list. Cut #1-Sonic. Enjoy this story. I guarantee its going to be long. Oh yes, and for every character that gets "cut" from the list, the chapter is mostly about their lives and jobs, and finally theyre ends. Read and review! -Stewey