A/N: Okaaay, this little bit of crack was inspired by a discussion some of my friends were having at lunch today. Yes, I have extremely odd friends. If you don't want to read someone poking fun at this series, please do yourselves a favor and don't read this fic! Also, I'm just going to say up front that I don't support this pairing, I'm not writing this to be perverted, and I'm straight. In other words- please don't take this fic seriously!! And by the way, I really do love these books, I just can't bring myself to write a serious story about them. :D
Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I really write horrible stories such as this?
Wishing
JPOV:
I stared across the room at what was possibly the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen. Everything- from the hair, to the eyes, to the skin, to the small movements during conversation- spoke to perfection and gentle strength. Why couldn't I bring myself to admit my love? Why did I torture myself like this, trying to send the wrong message, just to hide what I really felt? I longed to scream it from the rooftops, to paint it across the sky. But I couldn't. I was just too much of a coward.
Edward glanced up at me quickly, then his eyes fell back to Bella.
He had looked at me. The love of my life, the real reason I had been against Bella's first marriage and transformation, had looked at me! I knew he could read thoughts, but I was guessing he was too absorbed in his own to really notice mine. If only I could reach out and comfort him, when he was hurting so badly, if only I could confess my love for him, if only…
EPOV:
Why? Why was I here? Why had she left me like this? I loved her more than any other thing on this earth, why could she choose someone else over me so easily? Maybe all the warnings I'd given her about how dangerous life was for vampires, how dangerous life with me would be, had finally convinced her. If that was true, then…I couldn't blame her. And I wouldn't go after her, I had promised that she would have her own life, free from my interference. But the pain threatened to swallow me up, to destroy every last scrap of sanity I had. And on top of that, how could she invite me to the wedding? I just couldn't understand it. How could Bella choose…a ficus tree…over me?
BPOV:
I looked over at the love of my life, the one being on this earth who truly understood me. I couldn't believe I had almost made such a terrible mistake, leaving Fil behind to run off with Edward. I mean, sure, Edward was amazingly attractive, and sure he seemed to care about me, but I realized now that I could never have been truly happy with someone so possessive and overprotective. Fil let me stand on my own two feet, let me learn to fight my own battles, but still listened quietly when I talked and was always there for me to lean on. He was a man of few words (ok, no words), and he went a little bald at times, but I didn't feel nearly as fragile or useless around him as I did around the vampires. And now, on our wedding day, I looked over at him with love and anticipation. It didn't matter to me that he was a tree. Or that I'd be vacuuming bits of my husband off the carpet for the rest of our marriage. Or that he could never wrap his arms around me or kiss me quite the same way Edward used to. All that mattered was that we loved each other.
narrator'sPOV:
As the minister finished with, "You may now kiss the bride," Bella leaned in to give the ficus tree, sitting in a beautiful black-and-white pot, a peck on one of its branches. And so a new life for our three characters begins…
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
EPOV:
There were little canapés being offered to the guests by tuxedoed waiters. They had plant fertilizer in them. As if this whole painful mess wasn't enough, she had managed to find the one caterer in the entire country who would cater to her…husband's…special dietary needs. It was like she was rubbing it in my face that she had rejected me for a tree! Not even an interesting tree. I mean, a redwood maybe I could've dealt with, but a ficus?
I'd been tuning out the minds in the room all day, it was just so painful to hear the thoughts about how cute the new couple looked. But, maybe if I looked hard enough, there would be something trivial in one of those minds to distract myself with. A fight, a complaint about the hotel's drapes, something that wasn't about the wedding. I closed my eyes and listened…
JPOV:
I'd gone over to say a quick congratulations to Bella and Fil when they first arrived at the reception; it wasn't like I cared one way or the other who she was running off with. Just as long as it wasn't Edward. He was on the other side of the room, looking beautiful, eyes closed as h leaned against the wall. There was something I did hate Bella for, though- how badly she had hurt him. I wanted to walk over and put my arms around him, to tell him he deserved so much more than that whore he had loved. But how could he ever think of me as anything other than an annoyance, an enemy, even. But I couldn't stop this desire to be more than that. To replace- no, to be better than- Bella in Edward's life… I loved him.
EPOV:
My thoughts drifted over to Jacob. Maybe he had been right all along; if Bella and I hadn't been together, I wouldn't be suffering like this, I wouldn't be in so much pain. Actually, now that I thought about it, Jacob wasn't nearly as bad as I had thought. I'd always blocked him out before, just out of hatred, but maybe this werewolf had some wisdom in him after all. I looked into his thoughts, wondering what I'd find there- some pack issues, a small, fairly unimportant fight with Billy, and then…my face? I jerked back in surprise, wondering what he could've been thinking about me…
'I love him.'
That was unexpected.
A/N: Yay, first chapter is up! Short, not much in it, but it's an accomplishment for me. Next chapters will have more plot development, but I just wanted to lay the groundwork today. Updates will be infrequent until summer break gets here, so this'll be very slow until about a month from now. Apologies!
Virtual cookies and my undying to people who review! Even flames!