This was originally written for comment_fic over at livejournal
The prompt was Nate/Eliot, "So ... you ride horses and Harleys...what else do you ride?"
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The first time Eliot was honest about what he needed was after Nate had caught the "retrieval specialist" red-handed and talked him into helping the company with one of their side jobs. Nathan insisted that he play it safe, to meet the contact in a public place, but Eliot didn't like or trust Nathan enough to let him run the show.
The meeting was in an old warehouse. The explosion that Eliot barely escaped was there, too.
"You need a hospital."
"No, Nate, I need to be left alone without some nagging voice in my head."
"No, you have to - Eliot! Holy shit, wake up! Can you hear me Eliot? Wake up!"
"Mnhhh, okay, maybe I need a hospital."
*********
The second time Eliot was honest about what he needed was a few years later. Even if Nathan hadn't done his homework - which he had - Nathan would have been able to see on the younger man's face how much he had changed. He was less rash, more prone to think things out. But much more burdened.
"You could have gotten out of this business, Eliot. You wouldn't have to deal with thugs like them."
"More importantly, I wouldn't have to deal with suits like you."
"I think you're one of those guys. You can't just be happy. You have to feel like you're doing something important."
"Is that why you work for an insurance company? Because it's important work?"
"No, I don't need to be important. I'm fine being boring and happy."
"Happy my ass, Nathan."
"Fine, just boring then. But you know why I'm so boring? Because I'm usually right. For example, I know you'll be out of jail by nightfall and I know you'll be out of the country by Saturday. But I also know that eventually you'll run out of clients who only want things done the non-lethal way. And then your hands will have a lot more blood on them than you'd like them to."
"Hey, I don't need softball jobs, Nathan."
"Not softball jobs. Jobs that involving hitting and kicking and probably some head-butting. But no killing. At least, not unless it's in self-defense. And even then you usually find a way. But these jobs you're taking now, they pay crap compared to what you could be making. But you keep taking them."
"I need the work. A paycheck is a paycheck."
"You need the work because you don't have enough clients. Because they all know you have this bizarre need to keep your hands clean. You have ever since... what happened in the Balkans."
"Screw you, Nathan."
"That's not a denial."
"Go to hell."
"Still not really a denial."
"Fine! I needed to stop for awhile! Okay?"
"Past tense?... Eliot, this is important. You felt a need. To stop. Taking. Lives. Did that need go away?"
Eliot paused for a long time before answering. "...No."
*********
The third time Eliot was honest about what he needed, it was when Nate formed his "team." Nate and Eliot had revived their old flirtation but it was still before they actually did abything about it. Very shortly before, actually.
Nate was very annoyed about Eliot's secret-keeping, and his obvious feelings for the pretty young woman they were helping, and couldn't help but give Eliot a hard time.
He asked, "Who'd have thought when we started this job, that we would learn so much about you, Eliot?"
"I like horses, Nate. Not exactly news to write home about."
"So ... you ride horses and Harleys...what else do you ride?"
"Anything that can ride a little rough."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah. The thing about me is, I need to know I'm on something that might kick back."