So this came to me while listening to Into Dust by Mazzy Star after the season premier. Mac's first night without Claire. If you are reading my other story I'm Not Sick! I have not forgotten about it, I am working on it. ENJOY! :-) P.S. All the stuff in bold is lyrics from the song.
I stand in our room, alone and defeated. My world has collapsed around me and now I stand in the ruins of it all.
Still falling
Breathless and on again
I remember back to the way life had been, the love I had felt, the happiness, the memories of better days. It is all hollow.
Inside today
Beside me today
She stands besides me laughing at some silly joke I have made. But she isn't beside me. She will be there with the look of love I had come to covet.
Around broken in two
Till your shed
Her eyes. I hold them in my minds eye. Those perfect orbs of warmth that I will never again be able to see. I think of all the tears I had caused to flow from them and I hate myself for making those beautiful eyes hold anything but love in them.
Into dust
Like two strangers
Turning into dust
Till my hand shook with the weight of fear
The perfect image I hold of her in y head is starting to dissolve piece by shattering piece. I feel them slip through my hands as my mind starts to forget the little details. The way she looks after a shower, the way she shook her head when she was mad at me. They were leaving my mind and taking a piece of my soul with it.
I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
I am losing more of myself with each piece. I am empty now, alone in the cruel world that no longer held her. My shoulders slump as I realize that I will never again be able to roll over in the middle of the night and hold tight to my world.
I could feel myself growing colder
I could feel myself under your fate
Under your fate
I collapse into myself. One minute I am standing in our room and the next I lay on my side. Knees snapping up, arms wrapped around my chest as if trying to warm myself. Really I am trying to keep my soul from slipping out.
It was you breathless and tall
I could feel my eyes turning into dust
And two strangers turning into dust
Turning into dust
I close my eyes and see her standing there, smiling that dazzling smile of hers. My mouth twitches up into a small smile. She laughs and waves at me. The smile dies on my lips. "Don't go." I plead with her; beg her to stay with me. Sadness touches her sweet eyes as she shakes her head slowly. Hot tears roll down my face as she turns around and starts to walk away. I reach out a to grab her but she is too far gone. She looks back one last time and waves sadly, and then she is gone. I open my eyes and all I find is an empty room that she will never fill again.
