Since I did that 'If You Were Gay', song, might as well hit two birds with one stone and give the oneshot I promised my friend, Ra the Myth Trainer. And since he is Candian, I hope that this will give him a laugh… or he'll come at me with a chainsaw. Which ever comes first. :D
Disclaimer: I do not own "My Girlfriend who lives in Canada", that belongs to the creators of Avenue Q (and their raunchy humor). I also do not own Kingdom Hearts.
Warning: Sora talking about his 'girlfriend' to his friend Riku. And Kairi listening in.
(~)
"You have a girlfriend?" Riku raised his eyebrow towards his friend, Sora.
"…Why do you sound so surprised?" The brunette replied.
"Well, Sora, it's just…"
"Just because I'm not as good looking or strong as you doesn't mean I can't get a girlfriend!" Sora yelled. "And she's the most awesome, beautiful…"
Riku sighed as he slouched in his seat. This will not end well…
Somewhere, music began to play. Kairi was walking into the café, about to call out and wave to her friends, when Sora began to sing.
"Ohhh…I wish you could meet my girlfriend, my girlfriend who lives in Canada."
GIRLFRIEND? Kairi thought as her mouth dropped.
"She couldn't be sweeter, I wish that you could meet her. My girlfriend who lives in Canada!" Sora sang, while the silver haired teen's hand, looking very unconvinced, was holding up Riku's face.
"This all sounds a bit far-fetched, Sora." The silveret replied.
"It's true! Her name is Alberta. She lives in Vancouver. She cooks like my mother. And sucks like a Hoover-!"
Most of the people sipping their coffee were now coughing and/or choking. While Kairi's mouth dropped even more.
"Really." Riku smirked.
Sora smirked back, before trilling again. "I email her everyday. Just to make sure everything's okay. It's a pity she lives so far away in Canada!"
"Since you talk so much. How come she's haven't been down to visit you? How come I haven't met her?" Riku crossed his arms.
"Well, er…" Sora trailed off, before smiling again. "Last week she was here, but she had the flu. Too bad 'cause I wanted to introduce her to you, it's so sad. There wasn't a thing she could do. But stay in bed with her legs up over her head!"
After that, a few of the men in the establishment cheered, while the females rolled their eyes or hit the males. Kairi's face began to turn as red as her hair, she snarled. Sora still hadn't noticed his female friend, but Riku had.
"Uh, Sor…"
"Oooh! I wish you could meet my girlfriend, but you can't because she is in Canada. I love her, I miss her, I can't wait to kiss her! And soon I'll be over to Alberta!"
"Sora…"
"I mean Vancouver!" Sora said, still not noticing the wine-haired girl stomping closer…
"Sora-" Riku began again.
"Shit! Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancou-" Sora began to muttered.
"Sora-!"
The brunet began to do his big finish. "She's my girlfriend! My wonderful Girlfriend! Yes, I have a girlfriend, who lives in Canada!"
Riku than pointed behind Sora, his face showing pure terror…
"And I can't wait to eat her pussy again!"
SMACK!
THE END
Hope you all enjoyed that~! :D