A/N: I decided to make a Hetalia unit story since I love writing comedy, and felt like torturing a few people.
Hope you guys enjoy it.
Chapter 1- Quiz of Doom
The sun rose as the birds chirped sweetly as a new day began in a huge millionaire mansion as a hot blonde bombshell rose her head from the silk sheets as she turned her head to new lover whose sun kissed skin glowed brightly like the sun itself. She giggled as she cuddled closer to him and buried her face into his neck…
"I love you Antonio Fernandez Carriedo" She whispered.
.
.
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"OH…GOD IT BURNS!" A 22 year old woman screamed as she frantically clicked the back button on her laptop to go back to the main page. She shook her head as she tried to brain bleach that horrible writing she read just now.
"You read another Mary-sue story with Hetalia didn't you, Maria" said a loud voice
The dark haired woman almost jumped in surprised as she looked over to the voice behind her. A browned skin teenager looked at her with her arms crossed.
"Yes…It was horrible…It was some chick with Spain, you know my OTP is Spamano… oh god... Nene it was worst then the time I read about Romano leaving Spain for Turkey" Maria ran her hand over her short black hair.
The twelve year old known as Nene glared at Maria, "I told you to stop reading that stuff."
"Yeah I know, but I needed to see why if had so little reviews." It was then that Maria looked at her and blinked in surprised….
Nene was starting to get creeped out. "what?"
"What are you wearing Nene?" Maria asked
Nene was wearing some pink pants, while wearing a pink and lime green jacket with a picture of Gir on the back saying 'I love cupcakes'
Nene only grinned, as her high ponytail swayed "What jealous or something? Not everyone can be as great as I am especially while wearing that."
Nene made her point as she pointed at Maria's black skinny jeans and her red shirt that had a picture of a tomato on it with the words 'got tomato'.
"Anyway what do you want, dear little sister of mine" Maria asked sarcastically
"I'm starving, make me some dinner." Nene retorted
"I'll do it in a minute let me just read this other fan fiction." She answered
"No, if you don't make me dinner this minute. I'll cook dinner myself."
Maria shivered as she got off the laptop. "God forbid that your cooking is worse than an Englishman's cooking, fine I'll get started."
"Hey my cooking isn't that bad" Nene yelled angrily
"You couldn't even boil an egg right. You ended up setting the stove on fire, if I wasn't home that night you would have burn my house down." Maria said
Nene just turned her head. "Whatever Maria, just make me dinner."
"Yes, brat" Maria said as she grabbed a pot and started on dinner.
Maria sighed again as she stirred the tomato sauce in a small pot as she heard Nene gasping and giggling on the kitchen table looking at her laptop on the newest doujinshi on her favorite shipping.
It was probably the reason she asked for dinner, the rule was when Maria wasn't using the laptop; Nene had full rights to use it instead whether it was for school, or for entertainment or her favorite thing looking up as much Yaoi as she wanted.
Maria really regretted introducing Nene to the concept of Yaoi; it was an accident really when Nene had first came to live at her house. She had decided to watch Gravitation on TV and the moment Nene watched the first episode she became addicted. To be introduced to Yaoi at such a young age… well at least she was able to go to Yaoi-con every year.
"Oh god, America you're so going to be raped by Russia in that skimpy outfit" Nene muttered while drooling at the screen.
Nene had a favorite anime at the moment and it was something known as Hetalia for the last three maybe four years she and Nene had been obsessing over their favorite parings and Nene's OTP was a little thing called RusAme…
Maria could never figure out what was so great about Ivan Braginski and Alfred F. Jones being together as a couple. Most fanfics she ever read always ended with those two having drunken sex or Russia ending up drugging America and having his way with him…Probably the only reason why she read them was because she always like reading stories of a strong person being force to be a submissive uke to please his sadistic master.
Then again Maria almost acted the same in the Spamano, GerIta, and the Germancest shipping. Most had some fluff, others had some raging bondage, and other just went with other kinks she enjoyed to drool over making her smile like Spain seeing an army of cute little turtles.
"Hey…Hey…HEY!"
Maria blinked from her perverted thoughts as she looked at Nene, who was glaring at her.
"Yeah, Brat?" She asked
"Two things…One your nose is bleeding and two the tomato sauce is burning."
Maria gave out a small shriek as she quickly moves the pot away from the stove and quickly grabbed a napkin to cover her nose while cursing wildly in Spanish.
Nene giggled madly as she looked at her sister before returning back to her doujinshi; however she frowned as she saw that the page change.
Take this Quiz and get free subscription to Yaoi doujinshi for free
Now that was interesting, free Yaoi and all she needed to take a quiz, was she really going to pass up something like this…Hell no…
Nene clicked on the page, however the moment she saw the questions, she frowned. For one thing the question weren't multiple choices, you had to type it. Secondly it was all world history questions, which was Maria's specialty.
"Maria, Can you help me here?" Nene asked
Maria turned to her as she managed to save the tomato sauce and was currently mixing it with the pasta. "Can't you see I'm a little busy…?"
Nene pouted "please….I'll let you live when I take over the world."
Nene had a dream and her dream was to take over the world and for some reason destroy china and bring communism back to Russia and said that if she was able to take over the world the first country to go down is America, Maria guessed that the reason for it was because Nene hated China from Hetalia and wanted Russia being in his crazy communism self so he can have America all sexed up and moaning so wanton…such a fan girl she was…just like herself.
Maria scoffed "Even if you take over the world, you won't kill me you need me to cook you food and make sure no one kills you."
"I can make my guards do that and hire a personal cook, I can survive without you." Nene said smugly
"Yeah, however would you trust random strange who could easily betray you with your life, or trust your older sister who has taken care of you, clothed you and feed you since you were five. Either way you know damn well my loyalty to you would be better than anyone else oh future ruler of the known world."
Nene sighed "fine, you can be my servant. So as your first task as my slave, stop what you're doing and help me here."
Maria sighed as she finishes making the pasta and covered the pot with a lid and walked over to Nene and her laptop.
"Alright what do you need?" She asked
"Answer these questions for me will you. I would get free Yaoi if you answer correctly." Nene replied
Maria looked over Nene before sighing "fine, just so you know I'm only doing this because I know you won't leave me alone."
Nene only smirked as she grabbed a plate and started getting some pasta "yeah…yeah just like my Gravitation Yaoi."
Maria only ignored her as she stared at the first question on the quiz.
What is the German word for lightning war?
Maria smiled one of her favorite things about it was learning about the German culture. It was probably the reason why her room was filled with German and Prussia based stuff.
She quickly typed in Blitzkrieg as her answer as it changes to the next question.
What two countries stayed Neutral in WWII?
Well that was an easy one; In Hetalia Switzerland proved his neutrality since it was common for him to shoot anyone that came into his yard whether they were allied or axis power and if she remembered her history correctly. Sweden was another neutral country since his government didn't want to join either side.
Maria quickly typed in Switzerland and Sweden as her answer as went to the next question
What civil war battle lasted three day in America?
Nene looked at the question as she sat behind Maria. "That's an easy one; it's Gettysburg. The history channel had a whole civil war week last month."
Maria smiled as she typed in Gettysburg as it switched to the next question
What year was the Berlin wall built and what did the Germans called it?
Nene had a confused expression on her face "This one of your questions Maria, I don't know much about Germans…"
Maria sighed as she typed in 1961; the wall of shame. The question was accepted.
"How did you know it was that?" Nene asked
"I played Mario's time machine the other day and one of the levels I had to get a sledge hammer over to the year 1989 level and it gives you facts about it. One of them said the wall was built in 1961 as well as the Germans calling it the wall of shame."
"Oh…nerd" Nene muttered
"Shut up, if I'm a nerd then you're a nerd too." Maria retorted
"No I'm not I just a fan" Nene replied
The next question popped up before they could continue arguing.
What country was able to get a man walk into space?
"Oh I know America did it!" As Nene was about to type in the question herself she was pushed away from the laptop.
"You are an idiot! The question say Space not moon, America was only able to reach the Moon. Russia on the other hand was able to get a man to walk in space first." Maria yelled
"Oh, you didn't have to shove me." Nene yelled back.
"Sorry, but unless you want free Yaoi you need me to answer these questions right."
Maria typed in USSR as the question disappeared and another pop-up appeared
Congratulations you are our 1000 person to answer our quiz correctly, you just won a free subscription of Yaoi as well as free H-
Before they could read the rest of the words the entire house went black, the two girls looked at each other before blinking.
A blackout happened…
"Nooooooooo! My free Yaoi, Damn you Benjamin Franklin for inventing electricity, this world will rue the day it screwed with me." Nene screamed
"It just a black out Nene, and it was Thomas Edison who invented electricity, Benjamin Franklin was the guy who flew a kite in the middle of a thunder storm." Maria told her
"Whatever Maria, just fix it already will you." Nene sulked in a corner.
Maria just sighed as she grabbed her shoes and went outside and went to the circuit breaker.
The old two story house was a bit of a wrecked on the outside, but it was fairly good on the inside. The house was built during the depression; however she got the house eight years ago along with the large barn and pool. She could hear the distant mooing of the cows from the barn and the sound of crickets chirping their sweet lullaby in the night.
She looked at the switches as she switched it on and off as the dark house glowed once again with electricity before going back inside.
Nene was currently frowning at the laptop as she had manage to get back to the website,
"What you can't get on it?" Maria asked
"No and it won't let me take that stupid quiz again says that I can only take the quiz once. This totally sucks." She muttered
Maria sighed "yeah, well let's just eat and go to bed."
Nene stretched her arms "I already ate I'm just going to go upstairs and listen to my music alright see you tomorrow."
"Alright, goodnight Nene." Maria muttered
Nene disappeared upstairs as Maria sighed as she covered the pasta with the lid and turned off the light. She suddenly didn't feel like eating and whenever that happened she always had to clean up.
Just like the time Nene had trained all twelve of their chickens to go up and down the stairs, What was her reason she couldn't even recall, however she ended up cleaning the bird shit off the carpet such a nice saturday wasted.
Well there was no use to think about it now, she decided to upstairs and hit the hay.
Tomorrow was Sunday after all.
"Argh! Get off stupid dog let go of my leg…Help…HELP!"
Maria jolted out of bed at the sounds of someone screaming for help and recognizing the sounds of a certain loud bar quick got off the floor and ran downstairs (trying her hardest not to kill herself from missing a step) and got to the front door to see a man wearing a lime green suit on the ground while a giant German Shepard` on top of him with a piece of fabric down.
"Shadow! Get off him now." Maria commanded
The German Shepard looked over to his master before getting off the poor guy and went off to sit in the front porch.
Maria helped the man of the ground. "I'm sorry; Shadow tends to do that to strangers."
The guy on the ground only winced and started to dust himself as he looked at Maria and blushed "um…Miss you do realize what you are wearing at the moment right?"
Maria looked down at herself; she had forgotten to wear some pants and was currently wearing her black underwear and a red tank top.
She blushed "oh sorry about that, I heard your screaming and came down without thinking." She was also thankful that she lived in an area where the nearest neighbor was five miles away.
She looked at the man as he picked up his electric signature board off the grass. "Um… May I ask why you are trespassing into my yard, Mr.…?"
"Call me Eric; I'm here to deliver your free Hetalia units." he said calmly
"My what?"
"Your Hetalia units ma'am, you are Ms. Guadalupe Hidalgo Guerrero are you not?"
Maria winced at her birth name "Yes, but please call me Maria, But I didn't order any Hetalia units."
Eric looked over a few papers on his signing board "According to my files Ms. Maria you won them last night on that History quiz didn't you?"
Maria then remembered the pop-up before it had cut off so that's what she had won. "Oh… ok"
Eric handed her the signing board as he hauled a giant wooden crate into the house as Maria signed the board and handed it back to Eric. Eric took his board back and handed Maria an envelope.
"Thank you, your next unit will be delivered to you in three days from now and next time, try to remember wear some pants."
Maria blushed as she watched Eric get into his car (which was shaped in England's flying mint bunny (She wondered how she didn't saw that before) and drove away.
Maria gave Shadow a good pat on the head as she walked back inside into her living room before looking at the huge crate. She heard about these types of things happening in fan fictions; however this was a first for her. She quickly opened the envelope to see who she got.
Gilbert Beilschmidt: User Guide and Manual
Maria blushed as she started reading the entire manual; they had to send her one of her top five favorite character, It was like this her favorite romance was Spain/Romano. However when it came to her list of sexy Hetalia men, Prussia came in fourth place. In front of him on that list was Spain and Turkey fighting for first place and France down in third.
She looked over at the ways to get him out, she personally liked number three, pissing off someone wasn't exactly a good idea, especially someone like Prussia. The again, She was a little cranky this morning.
Maria took a few steps back and took a huge breath. "KALININGRAD! GET YOUR UNAWESOME ASS OUT OF THE FU-!"
Before Maria could finish her sentence pieces of wood flew through the living room as she was her body pressed against the wall with a hand on neck as a pair of bright red eyes stared at her in rage.
He glared at her. "The Hell did you just call me you unawesome brat!"
Maria felt a little lightheaded as the Prussia hand held her neck tightly; alright maybe calling Prussia Kaliningrad was a bad idea. She couldn't help but to put her hands on his wrist trying to get him to let go.
"Damn it; Let me go I can't breathe." Maria gasped as she saw black spots in her sight. Prussia released his hold on her as she fell on the floor gasping for air. Prussia only glared at her "Next time call me the awesome Prussia or maybe the Awesome Gilbert naw just call me your Awesomeness, you unawesome chick."
Maria only glared at him as she stood up. "You jerk you could have killed me like that."
"But I didn't, besides you deserve it."
"What just because I called you Kalil-"Maria was cut off.
"Finish that sentence and I'll beat your ass, woman or not."
"Chiga tu madre, idiota." She cursed at him
Gilbert only stayed silent; Maria wondered if he actually understands her spanish after all hanging out with Antonio probably taught him something. She then noticed that his eyes were staring a little lower. It suddenly hit her...
She wasn't wearing appropriate clothesright now.
Gilbert smirked as he then pressed his hands against the wall behind her as looked at her. "So girly... want to see my five meters"
Maria blushed as she suddenly pushed him away and started running to the other side of the room, however due to Gilbert entrance, Maria suddenly tripped and fell face first to floor. She groaned as she rolled on her back and rubbed her head, she heard Gilbert laughing as she looked over to him.
Gilbert looked over to her like predator about to eat a scrumptious bunny. "Kesesesese… Now time to invade some vital regions." He then jumped at her.
Maria quickly grabbed the nearest thing she could and closed her eyes and swung it.
There was a huge clank before Gilbert fell on the floor next to her. Maria looked at her weapon and saw it was her the sigapore cane she had hidden under the couch for when intruders or univited guest got into the house. She quickly got up and stared at Prussia's unconscious form before she nudged him with her foot to see if he was still alive.
He groaned, however he didn't get up. Maria sighed before she put her arms around Gilbert's armpits as she dragged him to the couch and laid him there. Maria sat there for a moment.
Alright so she had the personification of Prussia on her couch unconscious and probably going to be completely pissed when he wakes up. She needed to clean this mess, feed the chickens milk the cows and somehow unpack Gilbert's stuff and figure out where he's sleeping tonight...oh and tell Nene the situation when she wake up.
She finally stood and decided bore she did any of that she should first get a change of clothes before Prussia woke up and decided to try to invade her vital regions again.
Gilbert groaned as he opened his eyes, oh god He felt like he got hit by a truck or more like Hungary's frying pan. He sat up as He rubbed his head, did he get drunk again. He was too awesome for hangovers. He looked around as he noticed he was in an unfamiliar house. The memories suddenly came back to him. He was rudely awoken from his box and met this Spanish chick who had the never to call him Kaliningrad and was about to invade her vital regions and then he manage to cheap shot him (No he wasn't take by surprise he was too awesome for that) and somehow ended up on the couch.
He heard a small chirp on his head; He brought his hand to his head as a small yellow ball of fluff chirped happily at him.
"Gilbird you're here too, that's awesome. Did you see that unawesome chick?"
"I'm right behind you, idiota." She replied
Gilbert jumped from the couch and onto the floor as he glared at the woman that rendered him unconscious.
"You unawesome bitch, don't sneak up on me like that." He noticed she was now wearing some dark denim pants and a light blue t-shirt, as she carried a small wooden box full of his clothing and set on the coffee table in front of him.
She gritted her teeth " I have a name you know."
"Fine then, tell me your unawesome name."
"It's Maria, and you should thank me for not deciding to throw you out into the street." She seethed
"You're the one who, decided to piss me, you Spanish brat." Gilbert yelled
"One I apologize for that even though you deserved it and two I'm Mexican not Spanish."
"Like I give a damn" He turned away from her as he started petting Gilbird
Maria only sighed, she was hoping to get a better reaction from him, then again this was Prussia. She just needed to make sure he got on his good side and there are two ways to get a man happy and that was food or sex.
"Hey Gilbert, are you hungry?"
Prussia looked at her with the corner of his eye "maybe"
"Then let's go to the kitchen and I'll make you something to eat."
Gilbert stood up as he followed her into the kitchen, Maria hope that maybe after a full stomach, he could be a little friendlier with her.
Gilbert sat in front of the kitchen table staring at a huge egg and ham omelet covered with cheddar cheese, with bacon and hash brown to the side. Beside the plate was some coffee.
"Wow this food almost looks as awesome as me." Gilbert smiled as he grabbed a fork and started to dig in.
Maria smiled as she sipped some coffee as she prepared two more plates for herself and Nene. "So Prussia, you forgive me for hitting you on the head."
Gilbert stuffed his mouth with bacon. "If you make more of this awesome bacon, I'll forgive you."
Maria smiled as she sipped some more coffee and set the two plates on the table.
"Hew what's with the extra plate?" He asked
"My younger sister food" She replied
"Is she hot?" He asked as he bit into his hash brown.
"More like she really cute." Maria said calmly as she suddenly as a dark red aura appeared around her as she forked her omelet hard causing Prussia to jump. "And don't think about doing any vital region seizing, if anything should happen to her. I won't hesistate to murder that person and make it look like an accident." She said with a wicked smile.
Prussia only nodded as he tried his best not look scared, Maria looked almost as scary as Spain when anyone tried to touch Romano in anyway.
Suddenly they both hear loud footsteps The dark aura that had appeared on Maria instantly vanished as she looked over to the opened door to see Nene appear in some lime green pajamas her long hair messy and sticking out in odd places as she sat down on the table slowly picking up her hash brown and munching on it slowly like a zombie.
"Is she always like that?" He asked
Maria smiled "Only in the morning."
Nene looked across the table and noticed Prussia for the first time and almost chocked on her hash brown. She quickly grabbed a cup of orange juice before looking at Maria.
What the hell is the Gilbert doing in or house and more importantly in the universe?"
"Well remember yesterday History quiz, well he was the prize along with some more Hetalia units."
"Wait you mean they exist?" Nene blinked
"Yup"
"So wait does that mean we are going to get Russia and America too." Nene asked
"That's a possibility," Maria replied.
Nene suddenly jumped up as she grabbed her food. "I'm going to eat my food upstairs ok."
Maria smiled as she and Prussia looked at the excited teen go upstairs.
"Wait for it…" Maria said as she sipped some of her coffee
"Wait for wha-"
A loud squeal was heard throughout the house. Leaving Maria smiling like a dork, While Prussia just wondered what he just got himself into.
Yeah that's the first chapter sorry for any misspellings or Prussia being a bit OCC. I'd like to get a few pointers on this as well as some reviews.