Disclaimer: I don't own the LOTR, POTC, or HP characters, BEOTCH.

A/N: YES! A sequel to S.O.L.F.! HAHA! You will laugh, you might cry...but I doubt it. You'll probably just laugh. Or think this is stupid. But if you think this story is stupid, I'll beat you up.

Summary: Foes of Jenny Penny Hess, BEWARE. For she has...(dun dun dunnn!) THE ONE RING! The human race is so totally DOOMED. (Sequel to S.O.L.F.!)

Chapter One: How it all began...

Adrienne, Draco, Jenny Penny, Ron, Hermione, and that kid with the scar are watching the Return of the King at Adrienne's house. Well, more like Jenny Penny, Ron, Hermione, and Boy W/ Scar are watching the movie.

Adrienne and Draco were making out. (What a surprise...)

"Gah, this movie is SOOOOOOO long." Jenny Penny said. It was close to the end of the movie, the part where Frodo is being dumb and won't throw the Ring into the fire. "I never really liked Frodo..." Jenny threw a cheese nip at the screen...and it went through the screen and hit Frodo in the head. Frodo looked around, but couldn't find out where the flying cheese nip came from.

"WHOA." Jenny Penny said. Her eyes were as big as... big things.

That sounded very wrong. But I'm not going to delete it as it makes me laugh.

Back to the story...

Jenny threw a pencil...and hit Frodo in the head. "THIS IS SOOO AWESOME!" Frodo, looking very scared, picked up the pencil and threw it at the screen. It bounced off the screen and hit him.

Jenny Penny kept throwing things at the screen, like a book, a Star Wars action figure, and some pointy objects. Frodo and Sam, (who had reappeared for the sequel) looked very confused.

"What's going on?" Frodo asked.

"I don't know...wait a minute...a cheese nip? And a dictionary?" Sam's eyes widen in horror, and he might've just peed his pants. "LORD NELSON"S PANTALOONS! IT'S S.O.L.F. ALL OVER AGAIN!" Frodo dropped to his knees and began to cry.

"Hey Jenny Penny, try to stick your hand in there." Adrienne suggested.

"Okay." Jenny sat in front of screen. She went to touch the screen, but her hand went right through it. Sam shrieked like a girly.

"Mr. Frodo! There's a floating hand by your head!"

"Wow. Don't see that every day..." Frodo stood up and examined the hand. "A Shrek 2 Donkey watch? It's Jenny Penny!"

All of a sudden, Jenny heard an eerie voice in her head.

"Jenny Penny...take the ring..."

"Hey I know who you are!" Jenny said, "You're that big evil dude from Lord of the Rings!"

"NO I'M NOT!" the voice-who-sounded-like-Sauron said, "I'm...uh...Kurt Cobain!"

"DUDE. NO FREAKIN WAY." Jenny Penny said in disbelief. She is a huge Nirvana fan.

"Totally. Just take the ring...dude."

"Okay!" Jenny Penny snatched the rig from Frodo's hand and pulled her hand out of Middle-Earth. "Hey, this is a pretty neat ring..." Jenny took the ring off the chain.

"DON'T PUT IT ON!" Everyone else said in unison.

But they were too late.

Jenny Penny was invisible.

She just DISAPPEARED...

...into thin air...

"Oh crap." Adrienne said. Surprisingly, she wasn't making out with Draco.

"WHOA. I'm invisible!" Jenny Penny did a dance. But no one could see it. Cause she was invisible.

"JENNY! That ring is evil, take it off!" Hemione demanded.

"FINE." Jenny reappeared, looking mad. "It makes me feel so powerful..."

"Give Frodo the ring back." Adrienne said.

"Finder's Keepers!" Jenny cackled evilly and did a dance. The song "I've got the Power" came on and Jenny Penny tore up the dance floor.

"Give Frodo the freakin' Ring!!!" Adrienne demanded.

"Don't listen to them Jenny!" said the freaky voice.

"NO!" Jenny screamed, "THE RING IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!" And then Jenny put the ring on again. She ran out the door and onto the street.

"Holy crap and a half." Adrienne said dully. "The human race is so totally doomed."

"Wait..." Ron spoke for the first time, "What's going on?"

"Ron you complete IDIOT." Hermione said. No, Ron isn't half of an idiot, he's a complete idiot. "Don't you pay attention to anything?!"

"Uhh...no."

"Sauron is going to use Jenny to take over the world!!"

"OH. Well, what're we waiting for?" Ron asked, "Let's go save the school- I mean world!"

"Ok."

"Omigah Omigah Omigah Omigah Omigah Omigah Omigah Omigah Omigah!" Frodo repeated over and over until Sam slapped him. "JENNY TOOK THE RING, SAM! I have the right to freak out!"

"Yes, well we have to go and get it back!"

"NO WAY IN HELL. I am NOT going back...there."

"Oh, yes you are!" Sam said, "If you don't, Middle –Earth will be doomed, and there wouldn't be a story."

"You are soldiers of Gondor!" Gandalf encouraged, "No matter what comes through that gate, you will stand your ground!!" Just then HUGE cave trolls break through the gate, and the had spiky hammer thingers.

"Oh sh---." Gandalf muttered. He had learned some new vocab after the S.O.L.F. experience. "VOLLEY! FIRE!" Gandalf screamed. It didn't really help, as a lot orcs came through the gate. "We are so screwed."

Then, the oddest thing happened...

"TIME OUT!!!" someone yelled over all the battle cries. The orcs stopped their siege for the moment.

It was Frodo and Sam.

"Oh, crap." Gandalf smacked his forehead.

Aragorn led the way through the cave, with Gimli, Legolas and, of course, Diana in tow.

"This is SO awesome!!" Diana said. Aragorn turned around and stared at her.

"This is NOT awesome. This is the complete opposite of awesome! The fate of Middle-Earth depends on us!"

"Whoa. Calm down. You have a lot of pent up anger." Aragorn sighed and continued on. Legolas patted her on the head. Which made her swoon.

"Who enters my domain?" The King of the Dead had appeared...

...came out of nowhere...

Well, he should since he's a ghost.

"One who will have your allegiance!" Aragorn and Diana said unison. The four of them gave her odd looks.

"What? I've memorized the movie." Gimli shook his head.

"Uh...The dead do not suffer the living to pass."

"You will suffer me!"

A whistling noise was heard, and they turned to find Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, and Pippin, who decided to come along.

"What the crap are you guys doing here?" Diana asked, "You're not supposed to be seen until the end of this scene!"

"We have problems."

"Yo ho, Yo ho a pirates life for me!" Jack and Hayley sang.

"This is so cool beyond the boundaries of coolness." Hayley said.

"Whatever you say, luv." Jack replied. "More Rum?"

"Sure!" Hayley said. As if she wasn't drunk enough, she saw Diana, Legolas, Aragorn, Gimli, Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Sam, and Gandalf, aboard the Black Pearl. "Whoa, I'm SO wasted..."

"What're you guys doing here?" Jack asked.

"We, well, more like Frodo, lost the One Ring." Gandalf said.

"I didn't lose it!" Frodo said, "Your stupid friend Jenny took it from me!"

"HEY!" Hayley said, swaying drunkenly towards the hobbit. "Jenny's not stupid! She just has blonde moments some times..."

"Anyways," Aragorn said, "We need help getting it back!"

"Are you in?" Pippin asked.

"Why not?" Jack said.

"Good. Now all we have to do is get back to Pennsylvania."

"Ok..." Merry said, "But how?" Just then, they all realized that they were at Adrienne's house.

"We've got serious problems." Hermione said.

"We know...where's Adrienne?" Hermione pointed to the couch, where Adrienne and Draco were totally making out.

"Hmmrgh frmmk ghrmm."

"Adrienne," Diana said, "It's kinda hard to understand what you're saying when you're kissing Draco."

"Jenny Penny took the Ring!" Adrienne said, then went back to making out with Draco.

"We know, we just don't know what to do." Sam said.

"Hey," Kid-with-scar interrupted, "Didn't you disappear?"

"I came back for the sequel."

"Oh."

"Anyways," Diana said, "I know what to do! I'll call the S.O.L.F. gang!"

Legolas cringed.

A/N: Will the S.O.L.F. members help out? What will Jenny Penny Do with the Ring? And where exactly did Sam disappear to? Find out in the next chapter!

Oh, and I suggest reading the fanfic, The Most Ultimate Ranfic Ever! By Liliana Kavanagh Aurum. It's a companion story to S.O.L.F. It is quite funny.