Title: smile for the world. it's all we got left
Author: isawayorkiepoo
Pairing: Miley/Lilly
Rating: PG
Warnings: umm... nothing really.
Summary: the world will never know the real story. And why should they? This is all for her after all.
Disclaimer: I don't own the girls. The mouse does.
Authors Note: I can't remember if it was her 14th birthday or her 15th birthday that was the episode with the cat sweater so i'm saying it was her 15th. :D I also profusely apologize for the flashback writing technique. It's my first time writing like that. :(
Squeaky clean pop-star reduced to backseat romances!?!
The tabloid stares at Miley from the checkout lane. A tinged photo of Hannah Montana laying down in the back of her limo with another girls hands under her shirt takes up the entire cover. The girl has short, colored hair and mix-matched skirts and tank tops on. The tinging suggests it's been taken through a window.
Miley thinks she's going to throw up.
The girls in line behind her snicker and pick up the magazine. "Hannah will do anything for a little publicity lately. Today she's a lesbian, I bet next week she'll be pregnant."
Miley purses her lips and pays for the makeup she bought. People will never stop talking crap about Hannah not even 5 years later.
21 years old and Hannah still sells out concerts and make a great cover story.
Before walking towards the exit, she turns towards the girls and smiles sweetly. "Or maybe she's in love. Besides, if she is a lesbian, do you really think she'll end up pregnant?" She gives them a 'duh' look and walks out of the store.
No one will ever know how the real story went. No one will ever find out how Hannah and her mystery girl really got together.
No one can imagine the late nights she'd spent panicking over her newfound feelings for her best friend or how she'd finally given in and kissed her that day on the beach.
They'll never know the weeks they hadn't talked after that kiss.
No one knows how desperately they loved and wanted each other. They'll only know the story of Hannah's new fling.
The story they'll never know is so much different, more complicated, they could never imagine.
If she could place a day it started she'd say it had been on her 15th birthday when Lilly had gone through so much to make sure she got the perfect present and tried so hard to make everything perfect despite Amber and Ashley's best attempts at ruining it.
She'd fallen asleep that night thinking how wonderful her life was to have someone like Lilly as a best friend.
Then the Jake Ryan issue came up and though she really did like him—he could be sweet when he wanted and genuinely cared about her—when he asked Lilly out to the dance, she'd felt inexplicable jealousy and possessiveness. She tried to convince herself that she was jealous of Lilly and was just so possessive because this was her co-star on that episode of Zombie Slayer. Not Lilly's.
He kissed her that day at Rico's shack and Lilly was so supportive and tried to cheer her up after he left, and stayed over when she was kept up late with tears and nightmares of him not returning, something going horribly wrong and him getting hurt on set.
She had always been so comforting to Miley and did anything to see her smile. It was her favorite thing about her best friend.
Then the dreams started.
Jake came back and things went horrible. They fought and she got angry about his fame. Lilly was there and Lilly brushed away her tears. Lilly pulled back her hair and tucked it behind her ear in such a soothing manner that she wanted to never leave her.
Lilly slept over and held her when things got too tough and it was Lilly's body against hers when she dreamt of a faceless, nameless body rubbing against hers and touching her.
Then it became more obvious. Blonde hair showed up in her dreams. She could feel it in that dream phantom way, brushing over her abdomen when the head would go lower on her body. She would wake up in cold sweats, desperate for a release and it just eluding her.
Her sixteenth birthday came and went, Lilly pitched in with Oliver and Jackson to get her a new guitar and she was so happy. It was exactly like she wanted, a pink Hello Kitty Stratocaster. She'd seen them online and had hinted and raved about it.
It wasn't long until the dreams got too real. The face became more clear until she could make out the bright eyes and sultry smile. It was obvious to her who she was dreaming of and it just made her feel guilty. Lilly was her best friend! You just don't get feelings like that about your best friend.
Her and Lilly laid out on the beach one day and Lilly was joking about something, laying back and applying sun tan lotion to her stomach and she just looked so gorgeous. Her hair was braided in places and crimped in others, sections dyed blue and pink. Such classic Lilly and she ached to run her hands through that beautiful blonde hair.
Lilly had said something about Hannah's next concert and how there were rumors of Click 5 possibly showing up. Miley had nudged her shoulder saying there was no way they would actually be there. Lilly nudged back in her playful way and then they were actually wrestling on the sand. And what were they, five?
But Miley calmed down and sighed. Until she realized she was literally laying on top of Lilly.
Lilly's lips were moist, shining pink in the sunlight and her eyes were widening as if just then realizing their compromising position and Miley had just leaned down and kissed her. Lilly was far too surprised to kiss back but Miley had been insistent, moving her lips against Lilly's, trying to coax a reaction out of her.
Then Lilly had finally reacted, pushing Miley up and tossing her onto the sand next to her. She'd stood up and staggered back, a horrified expression on her face.
Miley had wanted to cry in that moment.
Weeks had gone by, both girls saying no more than two sentences to each other. Miley wished her dreams would just go away, they made her feel so guilty, but they just got worse, the memories of Lilly's soft lips under hers fueling every piece of her subconscious into creating new fantasies and desires.
One day walking down the beach with Oliver between them—and thank God he was so wonderful at carrying on a conversation with himself so neither of them had to speak—Lilly seemed to finally give up and pulled Miley aside, Oliver continuing down the beach, still talking about the new spy show he started watching and what detective was better, Monk or Sean?
Lilly had whispered urgently what was that about? and we're friends! Nothing more.
Miley had just smiled sadly and I know! I wish it was enough to convince my mind but it isn't!
Lilly's head shook and she stuttered for the right words. How and Why and What would make you feel this way?
Miley thought about it and every time they hugged or laughed together or spent the night at each others house, sleeping too closely to each other to be purely platonic flashed in her mind. Images of the smiles Lilly reserved just for Miley and every time Lilly had put so much trust in Miley to save her from heartbreak or a potential fashion disaster.
And what could she say? What was good enough to explain her far from friendly thoughts and desires? So she'd just kissed Lilly softly—and how hard it was to leave it at just a peck—and walked away.
The next day Miley woke up to find Lilly sitting at the end of the bed and ended up with an armful of sad, crying blonde and I'm sorry and me too. Maybe this can work.
But the tabloids don't know that story. They won't know the years of fights and rough, nearly brutal makeup sex. They'll never feel the emotional terror of having to tell her dad and her brother or Lilly's mom.
They only know what they see. They only know what sells magazines and ruins her career.
But she knows and so she puts up with the lies and the misguided stories.
Miley smiles as she opens her car door and looks around to the paparazzi free parking lot and feels completely grateful for that.
This is just for her after all.