Midnight without you
Part 1
Perhaps, it was the sound of the rain tapping lazily on the window pane or it was the tick of the clock that woke Scully from her strange dream. Either way, the chill in the apartment was felt as she lost her makeshift cover sometime during the night. The last she remembers was Mulder next to her talking. Her eyes scan the living room of Mulder's apartment only to realize that she fell asleep on him a while ago as the clock read just after 1am and he had retired to his room. She ran her tired hand over her tired eyes, then blinks to focus again before she stood up. But felt a wave of nausea hit her again just like the last few times as she sat back down on the old leather sofa. She hoped she wasn't that loud as she felt the wave pass again holding onto the arm rest to ride out the feeling before she stood once more.
The urge to stand now was great as she needed to use the washroom and find either her way home or – or what, to Mulder?
Slowly she places a shaky hand on the wall to steady herself as she stood up to cross the room only to find a crumpled baseball jersey near the doorway to his room. She picks it up, still can smell her perfume on it, mixed with his musky smell and thought about changing into it before she climbs into bed with him.
Her eyes close for a few seconds as she finds the door frame to steady herself once again this time in fright of what was happening now. Both men knew her secrets, desires, and very intimately. But she kept things back from both as well. She didn't dare tell Daniel about her cancer, or anything else pertaining to the X-Files. She even avoided the whole topic of having Mulder in her life.
With Mulder she told him what she needed to tell about Daniel, he knows she's holding back, but in due time she'll talk and right now it wasn't the right time for that. Earlier in the evening when they shared some take-away Chinese food, he sensed the tension still between them. He never reached for her hand or kissed her softly. Nothing, but a quick hug was given.
She needs to face her biggest fears, and the truth is she doesn't want to get hurt again. She felt tears welling up as she sniffs and with a quick wipe with her hand she brushes them away. She eyes him sleeping in the same spot as two nights ago with one foot hanging out of his bedding. He twitches and turns in his sleep, or she thought he was. His voice was just audible over the drizzling rain clattering against the window pane. "Talk to me Scully."
His voice broke her spell and she jumps a bit, with a quick sniff and she finds her voice she answers him back. "It's nothing Mulder…"
He had inched himself up on his elbows to angle himself to see her better and watches her from the distance, no words were spoken at first then he pats next to him, "Come to bed, we can talk."
"In a minute Mulder, I need to wash up, and change." With that she holds up his shirt, and quietly steps into the room, the light shines directly on his face for second he could see her petite frame in the harsh light before then darkness falls across the room as she closes the bathroom door.
She was now sitting up leaning slightly in his bed, under his covers. Still they haven't touched much but a quick kiss as she fidgets with her crucifix necklace, and he reaches out to hold her hands together helping her focus on talking.
He spoke first his voice was a low light whisper, "Tell me what you want?"
Her eyes searches his, her mouth felt dry, so she licks her lips and then found her voice, at first it was croaky, "What you can't give me."
His eyes stays focus on hers slowly he nods, he knew it would be hard for both of them; a family to start of their own is nearly impossible, but hopeful at best. For this confession he loves her more. He knew adoption wasn't in the cards for them. The desire to have her pregnant was too great and now he knew why she showered him with coldness after they had made love or sex, whatever they're calling it. "That explains why you wanted to distance yourself from me."
She nods, "I want a baby."
Nothing he said could change their outcome. The silence spoke for him as he pulls her closer to his body again still keeping a respectable touch around her body. They listen to the rain falling harder now, somewhere far in the distance a flash of lightening crackles against the grey black sky then the sound of thunder.
Mulder voice was against Scully's ear in a bare whisper. "Thor and Loki are at it again."
She laughs. "Shut up Mulder."
So, to not encourage his ramblings, her lips finds his; kissing him softly allowing their reconnection through their lips.
"Scully you know I am right." He said after they pull away.
"Maybe, but if you want to spoil it for either of us, please continue talking about Thor and Loki."
"Well in that case….see Thor…." He teased her at first then his mouth connects with hers again.