Byakuya and the Lawn Ornaments

Okay, I know that I have not updated anything in a really long time. As an apology, I have posted this which has been sitting on my computer for a long time, and I will try to update soon. I still have a stupidly crazy schedule this summer though, so no promises.

~MistyPaws

Byakuya sat in his room, listening. He had been woken by a loud clatter from outside, followed by urgent whispering. He got up and went to look for whoever had woken him. Half asleep, he walked around the halls. Then he moved on to the garden. Taking a look around and finding nothing, he had dismissed it and gone back to bed. After a while, he drifted off to sleep again.

"Pick those up and be quiet!"

The figure hurriedly picked up the items he had dropped, hoping that the squad 6 captain wouldn't come outside to investigate. Hearing the door open, the figure and his partner in crime shoved the items under a bush and climbed a tree thick in leaves and flowers. Byakuya stepped out, did a quick lap around the garden, and went back inside. They waited until they were sure he was really gone, then went back to get the stash. Within an hour, the items were in place, and the figures left in a rush of shunpō.

The next morning, Byakuya had gone to have a morning cup of tea in his garden. Tea in hand, he opened the door, only to stop and stare at the ugly things covering his yard. The things were everywhere. They looked like very tall birds, and were a blindingly bright neon pink. Staring a moment longer, he realized that all these strange birds were fake. Noticing a tag on one of them, he tore it off, only to read, KARAKURA GARDEN DECOR. Well now, he would have to find whoever did this, and teach them not to mess with his garden.

Byakuya stepped out of Urahara's shop in a gigai. He had asked Urahara if anyone had used his senkaimon recently, but he had just grinned like an idiot and denied everything. Walking down the street, he had stopped someone and asked them,

"Could you tell me where the decor shop is?" The lady looked at him like he was crazy, but gave him directions anyway.

Reaching the store, he walked in and immediately understood why she had looked at him that way. The shop was full of strange, ugly, and tacky decorations. Going over to the counter, he asked if anyone had purchased a large quantity of the pink birds.

The man nodded, and said, "Yes, two teenagers came in yesterday and bought all we had."

"What did these teenagers look like?" Byakuya demanded.

"One had bright orange hair, and the other had red hair and tattoos above his eyes. Anything else I can help you with?"

"Thank you, that was all." Byakuya turned and stormed out of the shop, leaving a confused shopkeeper behind.

Ichigo was sitting in math class, not really paying attention until the door opened, and a certain captain stepped into the room.

The teacher went over to talk to him. "Hello, what can I do for you?"

Byakuya handed her a paper, which Ichigo assumed he had gotten from the office to get him out of class. If he was here about that, he was in a lot of trouble.

"Kurosaki! Pack up, you're dismissed!"

"But.."

"Now!"

Ichigo reluctantly packed up and left with Byakuya. He was expecting punishment from the captain any second, but Byakuya waited until they were outside to shunpō to Urahara's shop and discard their gigais, bind him in kido, and take him to Soul Society. He dropped Ichigo in his office before leaving, only to return a short while later with Renji, who was tied in a similar fashion. Soi Fon was with him, with an eager look.

Byakuya gave them a hard glare before speaking. "You had no reason to fill the garden with those plastic monstrosities you call decoration. As such, you will be removing and disposing of everything you placed there. Soi-Fon will be monitoring you to make sure you don't try anything. If you do, she is allowed to discipline you any way she sees fit." With another glare, he left the two to Soi Fon, who seemed a bit too eager to be in command of them.

"Better get moving you two. Don't want to make Kuchiki - Taicho any more angry with you." She smirked as the kidō ropes disappeared.

"Hai, Taicho." Renji replied, while Ichigo just replied with "sure". A hard look from Soi Fon made him rethink his answer to, "Yes Taicho." He didn't want two captains mad at him that already didn't like him.

They spent the next few hours pulling up all the flamingos, and found that pulling them out was a lot harder than putting them in. And Byakuya had found a use for all the birds. Renji and Ichigo would use them for kidō target practice.

Said target practice did not go very well. Most of the spells backfired or exploded, or both, leaving the two a smoking mess. Ichigo had actually set his sleeves on fire at one point from a backfired spell he had tried to shoot. Now he was sleeveless and had bandages wrapped around his arms to keep from burning himself too much with the kidō. And many of the flamingos had needed to be shot a couple of times to completely get rid of them.

Ichigo and Renji were now sitting in Ichigo's room, back in the World of the Living. Ichigo was on the bed, Renji was in the desk chair, and Kon was stuffed somewhere in the bottom of the closet. They were busy plotting revenge for how Byakuya had treated them.

It had taken quite some time to completely get rid of all the birds. With both of the people cleaning being horrible with kidō, there had been more than just a few accidents. Soi Fon had clearly been enjoying the show, and even though Byakuya had not really shown anything, they were pretty sure he had enjoyed it as well. They would get him back for that.

They would just have to make sure not get caught next time.