OKKKAAAYYYYYY! So, This story is totally different from my previous one. It's more focused on humor because i'm a funny person(Or I just sit there and laugh at my own jokes which is kinda pathetic). But I hope you enjoy this one!
Ch. 1
"Natsu! Wake up, baby!"
My eyes flutter open from my great dream I was having. Me! Eating the world's biggest pizza, and winning! Oh, what a dream. If only I could eat a giant pizza without dying of either diabetes or obesity.
"Natsu, Wake up!"
My eyes are fully open, and when my vision clears I see my mother's huge blue eyes staring into my soul.
"Mom!"
"Oh, good, you're awake!" She sings.
"Mom?" I look at my clock, "It's six in the morning."
"Early bird gets the worm!"
"I don't want a worm, though."
"Okay, how about, anyone who wakes up earlier than dad gets the best donut in the box," She says.
Now this has my attention.
I jump out of bed and mom and I race out of my bedroom. We dart to the kitchen, and then there it was...The pink box of amazingness at the top of the fridge. We stare at it and mom peeks her head in the hall to see my little sister, Wendy, running towards us.
"He's waking up! He senses us in the kitchen!" She warns.
"Alright, Natsu, on the count of three, we take the box and run to the basement," Mom instructs.
"Got it," I confirm.
We reach up for the box but get interrupted by the sound of dad's battle cry.
"DON'T YOU TOUCH THOSE DONUTS!" He yells.
"Grab it, Natsu!" Mother shouts, as I grab hold of the box and make a run for it. Wendy follows after me.
"Mom!" we both shout in unison when dad tackles her on the kitchen floor.
"Just go without me!" She cries, as she tries to fight on dad, "Just leave me a maple old fashioned!"
We continue to run down the hall with dad hot on our trail.
"I don't think so!" Dad picks up one of Wendy's barbies and throws it at my head.
"OW!"
Stupid Barbie! Jesus, how FAR is the basement!?
Wendy, being as clumsy as she is, trips. Over nothing.
NOTHING.
"Wendy!" I extend my hand out o her.
"No!" She looks up at me, "You must go! Do it for mom!"
...Well, more donuts for me.
"I'll leave you a jelly filled," I tell her as I continue to run.
Wendy tries latch on to Dad's leg to slow him down, but he hops over her, completely dodging her.
This guy is like fifty and he's as agile as a freaking cat!
I see it! The stairs to the basement below! I'm almost there! I can enjoy a delicious and not nutritious box of- WAH!
Like that, as if life was going, "NOPE" I slip over one of Wendy's stuffed toys laying on the staircase and the box goes flying. It goes slow mo. While my butt slides down the stairs, Dad reaches out his hand and catches the box.
There's a thud. You hear my girly cry, and then Dad's menacing laughter.
"HAHAHA! Nice try, son. But it looks like I get the box of the sweet indulgences all to myself. AGAIN."
"You suck, old man," I growl, while rubbing the colossal bump on my head.
"Yeah, sucking the jelly outta this delicious jelly donut. THAT YOU CAN'T HAVE! HAHAHAHA!"
I swear to God, i'm going to shove that box up his-
"Natsu! Did you win!?" Wendy asks as her and mom run downstairs.
"Do we get to eat donuts today?!"
"Unfortunately not, my darlings," Dad says with a full mouth, "I'm afraid Natsu slipped up this one today!"
"Natsu, you clumsy bone head!" Mom yells.
"Hey, don't blame me!" I yell back.
"There's nobody else to blame!"
"Looks like we just have to eat toast today," Wendy cuts in, looking at her watch, "Natsu, we better get ready if we want to make it to school on time."
"Coming," I groan, picking myself up from the floor.
As I pass by my douchebag of a dad, he was stuffing his face with donut holes, he laughs and then holds one out to me.
Hey, he's giving me one. Maybe he's not all that much of a douche..
I reach for the bite sized donut and my fingertips barely touch it when he shoves the whole thing in his mouth.
…
...
WHAT A DICK!
After I drop Wendy off at Magnolia Middle School, I walk the rest of the way to my school, Fairy Tail High, home of the Fairy Tail Wizards. Hey, wouldn't that be cool if I were I wizard? I only wonder what kind I would be…
I got it!
Natsu Dragneel, Fire Dragon Slayer!
Yeah...I like the sound of that.
Anyway, figured it'd be a nice moment to finally introduce myself. My name is Natsu Dragneel. Although, you've probably figured that out by now. I'm the captain of Fairy Tail's football team and I guess i'm considered popular being that I have a lot of friends.
At school, everyone considers me a normal boy with a normal family. Little does everyone know, MY FAMILY IS A BAND OF LUNATICS. Did you see what happened this morning?! I'm pretty sure no one does that every morning before school! I swear, i'm the only sane one. My dad, Igneel, works at a elementary school surrounded by little kids so it's no wonder he acts like one. My mom, Grandeeney, works at a candy store so she's always hyper, my sister, Wendy, hangs out with a bunch of nerds who are into anime so she comes home talking nonsense about secret realms and dungeons and junk like that. Then there's me, the normal one who just has a job at costco.
I have a girlfriend, but I have NEVER taken her to meet my family. Every girl I have ever brought home has left me because of them. I really like this girl, so I'm not taking any chances.
Speaking of which, here she comes.
"Natsu, babe!"
Ah, Lissana Strauss. One of the most beautiful cheerleaders in Fairy Tail. Plus, she's NORMAL.
"Hi, Lis," I say as she runs up to me and gives me a big hug.
She looks up at me with her big blue eyes, "Guess what today is!"
"Tuesday?"
"No, silly! It's our anniversary!"
…
Well, shit.
"Duh!" I play off, "I knew that! I got the whole day planned."
"What are we doing?" She asks.
"Uh, It's a surprise."
"Oh, Natsu, you know I love surprises! Am I going to meet your parents today?"
Nope.
"You know what, Lis…"
Think of a lie. Think of a lie!
"They're out today."
Nice.
"Well, what about your little sister? I'm sure we'll get along just fine," She suggests.
Or, she'll ramble on about that anime stuff again.
"She has a sleep over."
I'm a terrible person.
"On a Tuesday?"
"...Yes."
"Oh...well, come on then! We don't want to be late," She says sweetly, tugging on my jacket sleeve.
In first period I sit down and begin to unpack my books when my idiot friends Gray and Gajeel plop in the seat close to me.
"Yo, Dragneel, did you finish your homework in science today?" Gajeel asks me.
Crap! It was so hectic at my house last night when we ended up having a food fight at the dinner table and I spent all night trying to get potato salad out of my hair. They can't know that, though!
"Uh, I forgot," I reply.
Technically, that's not a lie. It didn't occur to me that I had homework to do while shampooing my hair like seven times in the shower.
"You dumbass," Gray snorts.
"Shut up, ice princess," I growl, "At least I'm good at science and don't need someone's else's answers!"
"You wanna go, flame brain?!" Gray grabs my scarf.
"Bring it!"
Gajeel grabs on to the back of mine and Gray's hair on the back of our heads and smashes our heads together.
Dammit! Like my head didn't already have a huge bump on it!
"Knock it off you two, and, look," Gajeel points to his left. We follow his finger and see a new girl. She had blonde hair that went down to her shoulders and chocolate brown eyes. I don't know why, but couldn't stop staring at her.
Stop it, Natsu! You are in a relationship! Bad Natsu. Bad.
"Hey, she's hot," Gray grins at the girl.
"I bet she's great in bed," Gajeel snickers.
"Really guys!?" I scowl at the two, "Quit eye raping her, you perverts."
"Why do you care?" Gray asks.
"Huh?!"
Just what the heck was he saying!?
"I don't!" I reply.
"Hey, I think Dragneel likes her," Gajeel whispers to Gray.
"I do not!"
"In that case, why don't you introduce yourself?" Gray smirks at me.
"Fine, I will!"
I get up and stomp to her. I don't know what I was proving by giving into their little game.
She was reading a book when I walk up to her desk. "Uh, hey."
She look up at me with her chocolate brown eyes. "Hi."
"I-uh-saw you're new here and thought I would…"
Good God. Why am I so nervous to talk to her?! She's just like any other girl!
"I'm Natsu," I finally get out.
"Oh, i'm Lucy," She replies, probably thinking i'm some sort of freak.
"Nice to meet, you, Lucy," I say awkwardly, "So, uh-bye."
I scuffle away quickly, making sure to hide my face as I walk back to my desk. Gajeel and Gray hold back their laughter as I plop back in my seat.
Bastards.
"There, I introduced myself. Happy?" I ask.
They both slap their hands over their mouths, but you could clearly hear their laughter.
"Alright, brats, listen up!" Mr. Makarov slams his ruler on his desk that was basically a shoebox being the guy was so short.
Everyone becomes quiet.
"We have a new student today! Everyone, I want you to make Lucy Heartfilia feel welcome. Who will be willing to show her the ropes, hm?"
"Natsu will!" Gray raises his hand.
THAT COCKSUCKER!
"Yeah, Natsu said he's more than willing to show her around!" Gajeel adds.
I am going to shank the shit outta them with this protractor!
"Alright, Natsu. You're responsible for showing her how we do things here. Got it?"
"Yeshjblmshhsh…"-very intelligible gibberish.
"He said he would love to," Gajeel says for me.
"QUIT ANSWERING FOR ME!" I cry.
'Cause, really...that was uncalled for…
After class, I WAS about to go off to second period, but a giant hand grabs hold of the back of my scarf.
"Hold it, pinky!"
Salmon.
MY HAIR IS SALMON FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
"What?" I turn around to see Gajeel and Gray smirking at me. "What do you want?"
"Natsu, you're so irresponsible!" Gajeel says in an over dramatic gay voice.
"Huh?"
"Yeah, Natsu, you were supposed to show Lucy around, remember?" Gray holds Lucy by the shoulders.
Crap.
"Oh, yeah," I rub the back of my neck, "Sorry about that."
"Oh, don't worry about it!" She waves a hand at me, "I was just on my way to second period when I got abducted by this couple."
"COUPLE!?" They both cry in unison.
"BWUAHAHAHAHAHA!" I howl in laughter.
COUPLE! HAHAHAHAHAH!
That is bliss.
I wipe away a tear and Lucy giggles to herself. Well, she definitely gained a plus from me.
TIS DONE! Hope you liked! This is going to be fun xD don't forget to leave a review and STAY TUNED MY LOVELIES!
~Izzy