What the hell have I done?
As I lay in Tamao-chan's bed, I hear the almost silent whispers of Nagisa-chan.
-"Tamao-chan? Do you think Yaya-chan -"
-"Sshh..."
Soon the whispers die and only the ticks of the clock can be heard. I sigh intently and remember the tea party. Tsubomi and Nagisa kept inquiring of Hikari's whereabouts...
Why isn't Hikari-chan here? Where is she? Does she feel ill?
"No...nothing of the sort," was my final answer. The questions ceased and the evening continued. The girls as usual were joking and fooling around, and as much as I tried to join their laughter and games, I just couldn't, not after what I'd done to Hikari... Hikari... I guess that after a while, the girls were starting to feel the tension that lingered in the air around me cause they decided to call it a night. After Tsubomi and Chiyo had left, I had asked Tamao and Nagisa to allow me to bunk with them, so I ended up here.
I close my eyes and try to force myself to sleep, but I can't. My head is a total wreck, and all I can think about is Hikari. Why the hell did I have to kiss Hikari? Why did I have to feel her up? All I know in this moment is that I totally lost it... After hearing Kenjou-sama's words I started to think if what she said could possibly be true...
The only way to get over one love is forcing on another...
Hell, like if that were true... In that instant, my inner wishes, my own desires over powered me. No longer did I have them under control. All I could think of was kissing her rosy lips, taste the delicious nectar of her kiss, feel the warmth that emanated from them...but, I didn't feel what I expected. As I kissed her, I felt fear, I felt sadness, I felt ...hate. Suddenly I became aware of what I was doing, of what I did and felt her push me away.
"Hikari," I called out her name. I took a few temptative steps towards her, but she immediately shielded herself with her arms, fearful of me trying to make a move on her once more.
Yaya-chan, how could you?
As she spilled more tears, my insides started shattering... What have I done to you, Hikari? I destroyed our friendship and not only that...I also destroyed the trust she had in me...
As I start to drift off into what I know will be an uneasy sleep, I dedicate my last thoughts to Hikari, the girl who had once been my best friend, the girl I had fallen in love with...the girl whose trust I betrayed.
Gomen nasai, Hikari...Gomen...nasai...