A/N this is really random. I know where I'm going, but not how to get there, soo…heheheh? …Anyway, hopefully it won't have more than five chapters.

And don't worry, royai lovers will be sated by the end.

Promise.

…Unless you're a fan of lemons, if which you should run screaming from the room in frustration now, before it is necessitated by the story. Enjoy!

XXXX

Chapter One: Flu Season

They were in two cars: Mustang, Falman, and Fuery in one, and Havoc, Breda, and Hawkeye in the other. Traffic was unusually good, but that was because it was the holidays; nor could they take advantage of it, because the weather was unusually bad.

"Man," Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda said, tapping the glass of his window. "I hate the rain." The glass fogged around his broad hand, beyond which droplets of water were pelting the vehicle, surrounding it in a cocoon of isolation. The sound of it drummed on their ears.

Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc, who was sitting on the opposite side of the back seat from him, leaning casually on his windowsill, shook his head with a secretive smile on his face. "Huh. I like it."

"So do I," First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye said, from the driver's seat. "It always makes the world look clean." The car's tires squealed against wet cobbles as she drove through a puddle, spraying brown water against the windshield. The woman's lips pursed.

"I was going to say that it's a good excuse to get close to a girl when you're on a date," Havoc smirked. "It's harder than you think, you know!"

"That wasn't what I had in mind." Riza glanced into the rearview mirror as a barrage of furious coughing wracked the backseat, followed quickly by military-discreet frowns. "Sorry, Sir," Breda offered, "but we figured as much."

Riza had the distinct feeling that they were both trying to imagine her walking in the rain with a date, and happily discerned from the coughing that both were failing miserably. Or perhaps the fact that it was winter—the height of flu season—was a factor. In any case, they should all be at the hotel soon; if, a few miles ahead of them, Colonel Roy Mustang didn't mistake a concrete storefront for a side street through rain and reckless driving. She would have to yell at him when they reached their destination. Black Hayate was in his vehicle.

The rain pounding on flat metal roof claimed the attention of the three for the rest of the journey, a paltry sum of ten more minutes; and then the car stopped, and there was a mad and sodden rush to snatch the luggage from the trunk and splash up the steps and into the lobby of Sherman's Inn, some place that the military had paid their way into as a sort of bribe. Standing there steaming and disheveled in the sudden light, Hawkeye led the way, trailing suitcases, to the hotel's front desk.

"Do you have a reservation?" The young woman at the desk had a small, cheerful face, topped by a chestnut bun and rectangular glasses. The lieutenant nodded. "Six adjacent rooms…" As the receptionist opened her mouth to ask the name, Riza opened her breast pocket and slid out a badge—the military's seal, with a paper folded underneath it. Pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, the receptionist stared at the seal for a moment—opened the paper, cocked her head a little further to the side—and smiled, nodding. "Thank you very much, Ma'am. Your rooms are on the third floor—" a jingle of keys was passed over the counter— "And all of you, please enjoy your stay!"

Riza handed a set of keys each to Havoc and Breda; the meaning, she thought, was clear. Shooting her glances which she waved away, they started off toward the stairs. "Ma'am?" asked the receptionist.

"The other half of the party already came in, right? Three more military men…with a dog?"

A puzzled expression crossed the woman's face. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I don't believe I've seen them. Could it have been more than an hour ago? That's when my shift started—"

"No, I don't think so." Riza shook her head resignedly. Smiling heavily, she said, "Thank you. Could you let us know when they arrive, please? I have someone to…admonish."

"Of course, ma'am. Have a nice night." The chestnut-haired woman watched the taller blonde gather and carry her own two suitcases up the stairs after her companions.

XXXX

There was some sort of festival or event going on in this particular hotel the day after tomorrow. Riza had looked over the paperwork Mustang had tossed to her, but she hadn't really comprehended it, being preoccupied with packing. Perhaps later she would read it thoroughly, stuffed as it was now in the suitcase sitting on her bed. Technically all six of them were on break—a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence—but the military had taken notice of good fortune and bundled them off to attend some dress functions that it was hosting to keep the public happy.

Although at this rate, the rain would cancel any happiness, with the exception of the nefariously-plotting Lieutenant Havoc. It was certainly canceling any attempt at rest that Hawkeye tried to scrounge from it. She wondered how Black Hayate was doing, having been commandeered by Master Sergeant Kain Fuery for the journey. She wondered whether Mustang had driven the others insane yet. In this case, literally. Maybe he'd missed the turnoff. Maybe—

Her phone rang. Riza pounced on it before either Havoc or Breda could pick up theirs, in case the office was calling all of them at once. Those two would never do in case of an emergency.

"Hello?"

"Hello?" It was a woman's voice. Hawkeye sighed. "Yes?" she asked, recognizing the receptionist.

Sounding a touch worried, the woman said, "You have a call from an outside line."

"Can I please talk to them?"

"Of course." There was a brief silence, and then, among a haze of what sounded like pounding rain, "Hello?" said the voice of Warrant Officer Vato Falman, "Uh…"

"Falman, where are you?" Riza demanded.

"Ah! First Lieutenant Hawkeye! Well, we're actually about three blocks from the hotel."

"Why aren't you here yet? You were ahead of us, correct?"

"Sir, I hate to say this, but…" Riza waited for the worst. On the phone line, she heard a sudden change in the intensity of the rain's white noise and a few stutters from Falman. "Spit it out, Warrant Officer!" she snapped.

"Well…"

From in the background, a familiar voice, fuzzy with distance. "Warrant Officer, just tell the First Lieutenant that the damn dog ran away from the damn car. I know it's her." Riza blinked. Colonel Roy Mustang was as alive and as blunt as ever.

"Basically, Sir, the dog ran away from the car."

Riza suppressed a spontaneous snicker. The situation called for a degree of seriousness. What she asked was, "Have you found him?"

"No Sir, we haven't."

"What's your exact location?"

"Two blocks to the south and one to the east, Sir. We're parked on the right-hand side, by a phone booth…what? Ah! Sorry, Colonel, Sir…"

"Thank you, Warrant Officer, that will be fine," Riza said, trying to hear over the sounds of Mustang's arguing voice.

"Didn't I say not to tell her where we are—dammit, give me the phone." Roy grabbed the telephone halfway out of his stuttering subordinate's hands. "Lieutenant, don't you dare leave that hotel. I know it's what you're thinking. That's an order—"

"Sir," Falman said stiffly, looking down at his dripping and thunderous superior, "I believe she hung up already."

XXXX

A door slammed in the hallway, followed by a jingle of keys. Havoc looked up from his concentration, where he held a telephone, in his left hand, over a hand of cards in his right. A grin worked its way across his face.

"Hey," he said to Breda, who was seated on the floor next to him, also hiding his cards and also leaned over the receiver, "How much do you wanna bet that she stops to ask us for help?"

"Hey," Breda replied, "Just because I look like a meathead doesn't mean I am one."

"No kidding," Havoc said, the sound of footsteps in the hallway fading from his ears. He added, "Five that she finds the dog in ten minutes."

"Ten that they don't find it for three hours."

"Fifteen that they can't find the hotel afterward."

"Twenty that they can, but decide to sleep in the car instead."

Havoc raised his eyebrows. "Twenty-five that they all come back with fevers. Running around in the rain in the middle of flu season."

"Thirty," Breda said disgustedly, "That the stupid dog is having the time of its mangy life."

XXXX

A/N: Soo… you likey? Review pweez! I will write more…. though I have homework to do at the moment. Again, don't worry, royai fans. there is more to come. -wild snicker- the rating is more for comprehension level than the content itself, btw. Lemons are not my thing, as mentioned earlier.

I can have fun without hentai….

AA-M