I should have expected this.
But as always, I was just so damn instinctual. To the point where every consequence or error was simply blurred away by my charging speed. What's worse, is that they were right in front of me, discussing every new chapter to be written. Maybe I wasn't listening. Maybe my mind was so filled with images of food, that every word out of their mouths was mute. Maybe, as if I didn't know the origin of this problem. I did, I do.
Carly had already left. She left five days ago, for University of Michigan. We both cried, her more then me. But even under the cascading tears, she had the most jubilant smile. I guess, she knew we could never end, or maybe knew she would return. It was simple, to let her go. Probably because, we were both kind of branded as the other's, magnets. Always close.
But then it was his turn.
Before you ask, we had broken up well before his departure arrived. But neither had really dated another person in that time, and it seemed as if we were floating between the lines of relationship and friends. As if the connectivity wouldn't dull away, and despite the kissing, we were still together.
Freddie meant a lot. First kiss, first punch, countless names. Countless memories, of all of us. Including Gibby and Spencer. The gang, ha ha. To say he is my soul mate is stupid. I don't do cliches, or emotions, or anything resembling daffodillity. But to deny a spark, an inviting, homey warmth, would be a lie to hard to tell, even for me. Anyways, he left for MIT a few days after Carly. We said goodbye. There were no melodramatic confessions of love, or dumb ass airport kisses with a choir of clapping onlookers.
But now I'm alone. And he hasn't called. I've tried to contact him, but the dumb nub hasn't responded.
Was he avoiding me?
Or did her believe that with the miles of distance came the conclusion of our friendship, or whatever it was.
Maybe I should try again.
Maybe I should leave it alone, because any words spoken would be awkward and misunderstood.
However, maybe it will change.
He will land in Seattle once again and rebound this, love? Everyone reunited, and the whole sky will become ablaze, like a movie, with a million glimmering stars. And everything will feel copacetic, simple.
Oh how I yearn for simple.
For him.
Maybe I should have exclaimed my love. Maybe he would have returned it.
Maybe he will come back.
Just maybe.