Taking Over Me

You don't remember me, but I remember you.
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you.
But who can decide what they dream, and dream I do.

I can't stand it anymore- when I look into those deep eyes of yours I don't see any signs of recognition at all. It pisses me off. I'm trying so hard to bring you back, but you don't remember, do you? Nothing. That damned DiZ, screwing everything up as usual. I wouldn't let anyone else take the mission- I'm the only one that actually stands a chance of getting you back. You're stupid, you're arrogant, clueless- and you still have that sad look in your eyes, like you don't quite know where you are. But even if that's all the same, he changed you. You're not quite the same as the kid I remember. It's driving me insane. I can't sleep anymore. You know perfectly well what little sleep I get normally, and now, it's your fault. Aren't you proud? I'm scared that you'll—yes, scared—show up in my dreams, if I actually have a dream. Would I wake up?

I believe in you,
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you
To live, to breathe,
You're taking over me.

Every time I manage to get into that messed up town that he made for you, you won't listen to me. I can't stay there for long, haven't I told you that? I won't let you see just how desperate I've gotten. I hate it. It pisses me off as much as the fact that you can't remember me. I'm lashing out more, and I don't even know why. I've lost track of any reason that has dragged me around in this pathetic existence that we've managed to somehow keep.

Have you forgotten all I know, and all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you, and touched my hand,
I knew you loved me then.

There—I found you again. See? You can't hide for too long from your old friends. The sound of the word friend has a bitter taste, even in my head as I think it. Friend. That's certainly not all we were, right? That's how it started. But then we started to actually need each other. To get through each day we don't feel. It actually matters now.

I believe in you,
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you
To live, to breathe,
You're taking over me.

I've gotten into the Lab- I've been waiting for you.

"Simply amazing, Roxas," I say, bitterness casting an edge to my voice that wasn't usually there amid the sarcasm.

"Axel." You say my name and I wish that it was on my balcony, just the two of us, right before dawn like that one time. That one time when we knew each other so well…

"So, you actually remember me this time? I'm so flattered!"

I pull out my chakrams- fire races in a circle around us.

"But you're too late!" It's time for me to listen to them, to just stop trying, and bring you back by force. I think I say something stupid, something about oh-wow-I-can-count-how-many-Keyblades-you-have, or something about making it all stop. I wasn't paying attention anymore.

I look in the mirror and see your face,
If I look deep enough,
So many things inside that are
Just like you are taking over.

Suddenly it's all over and there's blood running down my arm, though you can't see it. You wouldn't feel sorry if you could. Right now I'm not anyone important to you. To you, we're not lovers.

"Roxas…" I say, defeat quite evident. You pause, watching me- remembering? I started to fake fading away- I didn't have any hope left. There wasn't a chance in hell I'd get you back. Fine, be that way. I couldn't save you.

"Axel…" Is that sadness in your voice?

"Let's meet again in the next life," I say, looking up at you, casting my emerald gaze at your sky colored eyes.

"Yeah, I'll be waiting." Do you remember? I can't tell. It's terrible. I want you to remember- one last kiss before I go, maybe? Or is that asking too much?

"Silly, just because you have a next life," I mutter. I fake fading away, and just return to my room, back at the Castle.

I believe in you,
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you
To live, to breathe,
You're taking over me.

This is just not fair. I unceremoniously fell onto my bed, staring up at the empty white ceiling. It was terrible. I wanted to hold you again, we could sneak out onto the roofs, we could go and steal a few of Zexion's books, un-tune Demyx's sitar, steal Vexen's chemistry set- there was a shitload of stuff to do still. And here I was. Alone, lying awake at night, waiting for you to never come.

I don't even know anymore, Roxas.

Was it worth it?

I believe in you,
I'll give up everything just to find you.
I have to be with you
To live, to breathe,
You're taking over me
You're taking over me
Taking over me.