Just because I'm suffering from writer's block and crippling insecurites. This is dedicated to my girlfriend who will never read it, just because I have no idea what she could ever possibly see in me. Sorry for being so emo - I'll have another chapter on "You Give Love" up soon, I promise.
"What are you doing here?" Sam asked the angel that lay snuggled up against him in the crappy motel bed, and instantly felt Gabriel's hand still in his hair.
"Umm, if you have no idea what I'm doing here…" Gabriel hedged, letting his other hand drop down to stroke the bare skin of Sam's back. The he laughed. "Either I just majorly took advantage of you, or I completely blew your mind with my skills in bed,"
Sam grinned at the joke, rolling over so that he could see the angel face to face. "Not what I meant." He chuckled, before growing serious again. Golden eyes searched his, open, accepting. "I meant… with me." Sam clarified; worry already churning in his gut as he waited for Gabriel's reaction. It just didn't make sense why an angel would ever choose to be with him.
Gabe was pure, uncorrupted, beautiful. Sam was scarred, fragile – hell, an abomination. He'd drank demon blood, killed so many innocent people, even opened up the cage and set Lucifer free. He'd screwed up so many times, done so many awful things… How could Gabriel lie here next to him after they'd fucked – well, made love, as much as that term made Sam want to cringe.
"Because I love you," Gabriel said simply, pulling a hesitant Sam in for a kiss. "You make me smile. You give me hope."
"Okay, I think you're the one who totally got his brains fucked out," Sam protested. "I give you hope?"
"Oh shut up, you're so cute." The sarcasm was overwhelming, but he couldn't even keep a straight face. "You do," He insisted, "Or maybe that's just the endorphins from the amazing sex, but either way, I'm not picky. Same difference."
Sam couldn't repress a snort. "See, that's what I'm talking about," Gabriel jumped in, "You're just so damn adorable!" and Sam shook his head.
"You're impossible, you know that?"
"Oh, I know."
"Thanks for changing the topic."
Gabriel grew serious for a moment, making eye contact and forcing Sam to as well by grabbing his chin and holding his head in place easily. "I'm not going to leave you Sam." He spoke softly, but Sam could hear the deep undercurrent to it, a fierceness he never would have expected. "Not unless you want me to. Your past doesn't bother me – everyone has one, even the angels. Doesn't mean a thing. What matters to me is you. Here. Now." He followed it up with another kiss, which soon deepened, making Sam wonder if they were going to be getting out of bed at all that day.
The worry hadn't evaporated completely, but Gabriel had managed to soothe it some. Sure Gabriel meant what he said; he was an angel after all. But when was he going to realize that Sam wasn't worth his love – wasn't worth that promise? He'd still keep it, of course, Sam knew him that well, but he'd be miserable: chained to Sam until he finally died. Resentful even.
So Sam snuggled up even closer into his angel, desperate to enjoy this while he still could, and hoping against hope that other shoe wouldn't drop for a very long time.