Green-Eyed Monster
A Red Dwarf FanFiction
Set during 'Dimension Jump' Lister/Ace, one sided Rimmer/Lister
:-:
The green-eyed monster. It definitely sounds like the sort of thing the mix-matched crew of the Red Dwarf would encounter in deep space. But when Ace steps into Starbug's midsection for the first time, it becomes increasingly obvious that the green-eyed monster is in fact already on board.
And has been annoying the smeg out of the other crew members for over three million years.
For Ace Rimmer is everything Arnold Rimmer could have been; had he not made excuses the entirety of his life. Everything from the man's cocky confidence to the style of his hair gnaws at the hologram's insides – Ace is alive, can touch, feel, play hero, and all Rimmer has are his dreams.
But worst of all are the looks Ace is giving Lister – looks Rimmer knows too well, for he has spent years fighting them from appearing on his own face. What worries him the most though are the looks Lister throws back at Ace when he thinks the pilot isn't looking. Rimmer hasn't seen Lister's eyes light up like that since Kochanski was alive.
And while Ace may just be another version of Rimmer, he is the version that knows what to say, how to act: how to be endearing to Lister. Barely two hours in and they are inseparable, laughing and joking – no doubt at Rimmer's expense – and Rimmer has never hated himself so much. His jealousy is all consuming and spouts from his mouth as suggestions of homosexuality on Ace's part. They do little to disguise his pain or his feelings.
Just as Ace turns to leave, Rimmer watching him from the shadows – willing him to step back into the cockpit – Lister comes running over yelling "ACE!"
And before Rimmer can draw breath, Ace has Lister in his arms – pressing him close and capturing his mouth with his own. Lister pulls back and laughs, smiling as he speaks.
"I thought your bread wasn't buttered that side?"
"When it comes to you Skipper, I'd butter everywhere."
Lister leans up to kiss him again but Ace easily holds him back with a single hand.
"It isn't me you want."
Lister looks confused, and he isn't the only one as Rimmer's face also contorts in misunderstanding from his hidden vantage point.
"Think on it," Ace adds, tipping Lister's chin back up and kissing him again – softer this time – before pressing his forehead to the third technician's and muttering "What A Guy."
Stunned at this switch of roles, Lister can only watch as Ace sets off in Wildfire and leaves the two crewmembers to their own private thoughts.
Rimmer finds himself wishing once again that he was solid, then he might be able to show Lister what a guy he really is, but until then that kiss will haunt his death.
And as for Lister? The realisation behind Ace's words is haunting enough.