to love (is to destroy)
you wouldn't understand / or simon returns and isabelle breaks [sizzy]
a/n: a short nothing for danielle because i love breaking hearts and she's the sweetest person ever. also inspired by her fanfiction "to love thee (is to treasure the irreplaceable)"
this is an au where simon doesn't lose his immortality and lives eternally, traveling the globe and izzy continues her shadowhunter life
"hey." isabelle whirls around to see a bob of messy hair.
"s-s-simon, why are you here?" her eyes narrow defensively, and she crosses her arms. but through the ink-black hair falling in her eyes she notes his changes. arms rippling with new muscle, hair tickling his neck, baby fat melted away to display jutting cheekbones and slim fingers, and tanned skin. and although forever cursed to be sixteen, he's older. his eyes are weighed down by memories, as if he's seen the world and humanity.
simon awkwardly scratches his arm, eyes pinned to just above izzy's head in an attempt to avoid her piercing brown eyes. "umm, i just wanted to, umm, see you?"
"yeah right," izzy says dryly. "after you left me ages ago because - hell, i don't know. because i wasn't good enough?"
"no, no. not that. if anything, it's because i wasn't good enough for you."
"you? not good enough?" isabelle swallows the guilt rising from her stomach and wills her hands not to clench. she breathes deeply. "you saved alicante; you're a daylighter. simon-"
"you wouldn't understand," simon hastily interrupts, hands playing with the hem of his dull t-shirt.
"i'm not 16 anymore!" isabelle bursts. "you think you're the only one affected by the war, and you're not! it changed us all. and i couldn't just run away like you did. i'm not a coward. i stood and faced and rebuilt the damage i did."
she bites her lip, an old habit, and blinks away the tears glazing her eyes.
simon reaches toward her hand. "ohh, izzy. i'm-"
"don't call me izzy!" she jerks away and breathes deeply. "i'm sorry."
"it's okay." his first lie. "it's just i... never mind. forget it."
a palpable silence settles between them. simon scratches his neck, isabelle toys her black hair, and their eyes never meet. above them, a pigeon coos and flaps its wings, ascending into the pale blue sky, and simon traces its flight, from brushing the trees until it soars away, a speck in the vast expanse.
it's isabelle to break the tense silence. "simon... is it because you're a vampire and i'm a shadowhunter?"
simon ignore the question [and the truth of it] and fumbles through his jean pockets, pulling out a necklace. it's gold with a cerulean sapphire chiseled into a tear drop hanging from the chain. he speaks robotically, as though this is a script he practiced again and again. "i want you to have this. for your- wedding gift. i hope you have a happy life."
"oh... yeah," isabelle whispers, plucking the chain from his hands. talking to simon made her forget for a few blessed minutes that she's betrothed. seeing his face pulled her back to the past, when he was still here. when her pasta almost killed him and he pretended to like it because he liked her. but she's the good warrior daughter now, one who doesn't date vampires and kiss fairies. "thanks." her right hand wraps around the beautiful necklace.
she drowns the part of her that longs to reach out, to stroke his hair or hold his hand. she silences it, tucking it far into the crevices of he mind until it's gone, lost to the turmoil of history. "goodbye."
simon nods, turns his back, and walks away.
when he's swallowed up by the horizon, a pair of warm arms wrap around her, and isabelle wills herself not to squirm and break away. "who was that?" her fiance asks.
"no one," she responses and clenches the necklace tighter, "just a silly downworlder i knew. no one special."
"okay, babe," he whispers into her ear.
she breaks.
a/n2: i love reviews ;)