Callie walked quietly through the landing to Stef and Lena's bedroom. Wrapping her arms around herself she knocked lightly. It was midnight, and she didn't really want to wake them, but she told them if she ever felt like cutting to come and get one of them.
"Come in" Lena called softly, putting down the peice of paper as she did. She and stef were up with their head rest up. Jude had come in a while before but it seemed easy to reassure him and put him back to bed. He was so heartbroken that his Dad just said hi and that he had signned his rights away.
"Hey Sweets" Stef smiled as Callie shuffled in with her head towards the ground, "Can't sleep?"
Callie shook her head softly and walked over to Stef, placing a razorblade in Stef's hand. It wasn't her only one, but this was a step. It was one of her favorite's, one from the olmstead's. "Oh, Baby" Stef cringed, quickly slipping it in her bedside drawer "Come lay down with us" she smiled, patting the middle of the bed. Callie sighed, sitting instead on the edge and looking towards the ground.
"I saw him" She whispered softly.
"What?" Stef asked a little, settling her hand on Callie's lower back and rubbing small circle's into it.
"I saw him and he said he was going to fight for us" She said in a small voice, wishing her tears away "And now he decided not to and it's my fault"
Lena looked to Callie and her heart clenched. She had learned not to get mad at the kids outwardly when they saw their biological parents. Marianna ws so convinced they were going to send her away "Please come sit by me?" She asked softly, again patting between them. Callie went to crawl over Stef as Stef softly tickled her side, making Callie smile and fall slightly before she sat, facing them.
"I just needed to know what her was going to tell Jude, I didn't want him hurt, and then... he was telling me about how I lookedlike my mom, and all the things I still do, like rub my nose and I just thought..." she trailed off as the tears started to fall.
Stef sat up and pulled Callie towards her "It's not your fault" she whispered into her ear as she smoothed Callie's hair, "None of this was your fault, he said he was a Dad but didn't know how to be a parent, he was trying to do the best for you"
Callie shook her head against Stef's shoulder, as Lena sat. She knew, sense the day Callie ran away, sense the funeral, there was something between Stef and Callie, the same that was between Jude and herself. "I told him to just tell Jude the truth, and I meant, not to lie about not writing him, he said he was going to fight for us, and now he just..." Callie sat up a little and looked into Stef's eyes "Why am I not important enough to fight for?" she whispered in a broken voice "Why?"
"No, no, Baby" Stef whispered, pulling callie around so that she was sitting on Stef's lap, her legs dangling onto len's stomach.
"We fought for you, Callie" Lena said forcefully "And we always will." She said as she smiled softly "I think your dad... he just didn't know how to be a parent, and is afraid, it's not right, but I can't say I'm not happy that you are my daughter and you won't leave me" she said rubbing up and down one leg "YOu are just as precious to me as Brandon, as Jesus and Marianna. You are just like Stef, it's amazing she didn't give birth to you"
"Mom?" Callie asked softly, looking up at Stef. Inside Stef's heart leaped for joy. She never thought Callie would call her 'Mom', and she was ok with that. She knew that Callie was close to her mother, and it was a horrible way that she lost her
"She's right you know" Stef smiled softly, running her hand over Callie's cheek "you are just as stubborn, and just have protective over your brother as I am over you guys. You make jokes to cover up saddness and you put everyone else before yourself". Callie, fell against Stef and burried her head in Stef's chest "I love you Baby" Stef whispered gently before looking over at Lena "MOM" she mouthed as Lena grinned quickly.
Callie's breathing had slowed and after ten minutes she was starting to think Callie had fallen asleep, though she didn't want to move her, she would sleep sitting up with the girl in her lap all night if Callie would let her. Starting to relax she laid her head back and closed her eyes, running her hand up and down Callie's back. After a couple minutes she starled when Callie sat up "Mom, Momma?" she asked looking from one to the other.
"What is it, Sweety?" Lena asked softly.
"Mom asked me about my mom, at the funeral" she said softly, looking at Stef to see her nodding her head "But, I-I didn't get to tell you about her." She whispered softly, looking at the ground.
"Will you tell me about her now?" Stef asked as she tucked a peice of hair behind Callie's ear, smiling softly.
"Momma kind of reminds me of her" Callie smiled softly, remembering the woman who gave birth to her. "She was kind, but sturn. She was always worried about being healthy, even though Jude loved junk food."
Stef snorted "Guess he hasn't changed much." Callie chuckled softly.
"She used to tell me that Jude was my only brother and I needed to be the big sister" she smiled "If Jude isn't wrong just like you told Jesus when he was having 'Jesus time"" she snickered.
"Uh, please don't remind me" Stef said shaking her head "I'm trying to forget that day".
"I try to remeber her voice" Callie said with a hitch in her voice "And I can't remember it" She whispered. "I just, I miss my Mom" said with a soft voice and tears streaming down her face "you fought, when you were shot, to stay with us, why didn't she?" she cried looking up at Stef.
"Baby, will isn't everything" Stef whispered softly "I wish I could take it away, I wish I could make her come back and you and Jude could live with her, but I can't, and all I can do is let you know how much I love you and that I'll try to never leave you until I'm old and gray.
Callie nodded "I still feel like I need to cut" she whispered softly "It just, it won't go away ad I need the bad out of me. I need Liam out of me, I need rejection and hurt and..."
"SShhh, come on Love" Stef whispered softly, manuvering Callie so she was beside them and lowering her side of the bed, before pulling Callie to her chest and stroking her hair as Callie cried. "You are loved and wanted and I know you feel bad, but me and Momma, we love you and we don't want you to hurt" she said as Lena lowered her side, turning and throwing her arm around both her daughter and wife.
Callie's breathing caught and she cried before exhaustion overtook her and she fell fitfully asleep. Stef sighed softly in relief as she saw Lena beng taken over by sleep as well. Stef didn't sleep. She kept watch over her daughter, soothing her when she heard a soft whimper, softly but firmly puling Callie's hands away from scratching her arms. Something Callie seemed to do when she didn't cut, scratch her arms in her sleep. Instead Stef would gently run her hand up and down the girl's arms. They all knew that this wasn't the end of the battle, but Stef sighed in relief that they had fought this night.