b0nybr0 stood at the grave of had been too fucking loong since teh fure nationa attacked you know what, im gonna use proper grammar so b0n3rz can read this later. ever since
the fire nation appeared and sent b0nybr0 into a downward spiral of [generic post traumatic stress disorder]. it eventually ended with his diabetes induced coma and later death.
until now. b0nybr0 stopped being dead in the sky, and fell down, hitting the ground and dying again. he then stopped being dead soon after, and realized he was staring at b0n3rz grave stone.
it read "H3r3 l13z b0n3rz, k1773d 8y 415 0n1y fr1nd". to be fair, b0nybr0 only killed b0n3rz to absorb his powers and become the b0nybr0. so b0nybr0 did what any recently undeceased man would
do and begun digging up b0n3rz body. it took days. two weeks with no food or water and nonstop hand digging later, b0nybr0 hauled b0n3rz body under a nearby tree. "alright faggot lets revive you" he said
to b0n3rz lifeless, rotting body. it smelled godawful. b0nybr0 then attached nipple clamps to b0n3rz nipples. b0nybr0 stood there, pondering the fact that he actually made that fucking sentence possible, and
shrugged his shoulders. b0nybr0 realized he needed lightning to strike b0n3rz nipple clamps in order to revive him, so he looked up to the sky, gave the sky the middle finger, and yelled "GOD YOU SUCK DICKS.".
all of a sudden, a single dark cloud appeared over b0nybr0, who was laying on top of b0n3rz body in order to get the lightnig there,(no homo). that single dark cloud then unleashed an ungodly storm of zeus-grade lightning,
resulting in b0n3rz body getting a thorough electricution. there's a joke involving sadomasochism here, but no ones gonna make it you fucking pervert. after dispersing a ridiculously large amount of lightning, like what the fuck
why so many lightning, the cloud vanished. then, after b0n3rz body stopped convulsing(no ones gonna make the fucking joke), b0n3rz stood up, completely refreshed to what he looked like before b0nybr0 stabbed him in the back. not with
his dick, what are you gay. no, with a literal knife. a butter knife at that. "b0nysan? oh man, im gonna fuck you up so hard." b0n3rz said as he raised his fists and charged towards b0nybr0. "man hold the fuck up bro, we both died. and it's b0nybr0
now, prick." b0nybr0 said, backpeddling at a speed to avoid b0n3rz. "oh okay. howd you come back to life then?" b0n3rz asked. "i think it had something to do with that satanic life insurance i got." b0nybr0 replied. "so you met satan?" b0n3rz asked.
"no, but that would have been bitchin." b0nybr0 replied. "then where's that random fat ass bitch?" b0n3rz asked again. "i killed the bitch for being a bitch.". "ah ok." b0n3rz responded. they just kind of stood there in awkward silence for like seven minutes,
until the ground around them cracked and a flying 80s-esque computer monitor( ) flew out. "you;re b0nybr0, correct?" the computer said. id like to say it had a sexy voice, but really is sounded a an intoxicated homosexual black guy with a speech impediment. "yeah."
b0nybr0 repied. "I'm Satanbot 666, and satan sends his regards. he brought you back to life so you could help him out." the robot said. "what if we don't want to?" b0n3rz asked. "we have nothing better to do. keep saying shit, computer." b0nybr0 said. "As I was saying,
Satan needs you. He had three other people of low skill, but they released all the demons of hell and it turns out another man they hang out with accidently killed all the angels so satan's dealing with that." the computer said. "how the hell do we fit into that?" b0nybr0
questioned. "here's where you come in. the eigth sign of the apocolypse is upon us and satan can't stop it." the computer said. "i dont read the bible much, what is that one?" b0nerz and b0nybr0 asked. not in unison, that would be creepy. "the fire nation has returned." the computer said. "AW HELL NO."
b0n3rz yelled. "that's not all. they plan on destroying the only mcdonalds in the city as well as your mentor." the computer finished. "shit, we need to tell masterection." b0nybr0 stated. "before you question how you'll get to him, the ninth sign of the apocolypse is supposed to land near here
anytime now. don't fuck with them too much and they'll take you to your mentor. he's in the red light district of the city. oh, and b0nybr0, if you;re looking for a good time..." the computer said, but couldn;t finish because a someone shot the screen, causing the monitor to fall back into the pit,
sealing the earth. b0nybr0 turned to b0n3rz, whose dick was out. good thing your mind has a censor bar, am i right? "dude, did you surgically remove your dick to get a penis pistol?" b0nybr0 asked. "you don't need to know what comes out of my dick." b0n3rz replied. b0nybr0 cringed to think about continuing
the current conversation so they both sat down and waited. with even more awkward silence. after like five hours, b0n3rz broke the silence. "so you killed me to become b0nybr0, and then died like four hours later.". "that pretty much sums it up." b0nybr0 replied, and the awkward silence continued for another two
hours. after those two hours though, a meteor descended into he earth;s atmosphere. it landed next to b0n3rz. "well that just fucking happened." b0n3rz said, walking over to the meteor. "so a fucking meteor falls down literally next to you and the first thing you do is fuck with it." b0nybr0 said, walking to the meteor.
"better than actually fucking it." b0n3rz replied. before b0nybr0 could look at the meteor, the meteor exploded, sending b0n3rz into b0nybr0, knocking the two down, as a robot emerged from where the meteor used to be. it was red and blue and looked a an antromorphic truck. not one of those shitty redneck trucks, but a huge
hauling shit truck. "I, am Optimus Prime." it said. "you look like a bitch." b0n3rz said. classic b0n3rz. "anyways can you take us somewhere, you look like something out of a shitty michael bay movie." b0nybr0 said. "I had a decent cartoon at one point." Optimus repied. "yeah like in the 70s you oldass robot motherfucker." b0n3rz
responded. "Why the fuck would I help you fucking asshole pricks?" Optimus said, turning the other direction and beginging to walk away. "we can help you fuck the destructocunts or whatever they are up." b0nybr0 said. Optimus turned around. "And how are you useless fucks supposed to take down giant ass robots of hate and death?"
Optimus asked. "we'll have a guy named fucking b0n3rz on our team. we can't lose." b0nybr0 said. "Good point. Alright asshole, hop inside of me." optimus said. "are you trying to turn me into a homo." b0n3rz said as optimus transformed into a shitty truck and b0n3rz and b0nybr0 got in the truck. "alright take us the the red light distric of
国境市はまた煉獄住所." b0nybr0 said. "Your city is Japanese characters?" Optimus asked as he began driving to the road. "yeah, it's pretty shitty." b0nybr0 said. optimus got to the road and started moving. fast. faster than the speed of light. unluckily the cops had the power to bend time and space, resulting in a cop chasing optimus for speeding.
Optimus eventually pulled over. "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" the cop asked. "Fast." b0nybr0 said. He made a motion as if he put glasses on. "...And Furious. GO FASt OPTIMUS." b0nybr0 yelled, as b0n3rz started flailing his arms and screaming "OOOOOOOOOOOH.". eventually optimus lost the cops and went to the red light district.
"okay optimus you stay here." b0n3rz said as he and b0nybr0 got out of optimus. "No problem, I don't want to go into somewhere that's the equivalent of a sex dungeon. b0n3rz followed behind b0nybr0, as they walked to their old dojo. by old dojo, i mean maserections sex shop. "this place hasn't changed one bit man." b0n3rz said, examining the nearby
shops and activites. there was an alley filled with prostitution, various fetish and sex shops, the occasional case of a rabies patient fucking everything up, and the crowning building, masterection's dick dojo. you guessed it, it was filled to the brim with homosexuality. but thats not important. b0nybr0 made it to the entrance without being enthralled
by the various sets of enormous titties all around him. b0n3rz lived up to his name and wasn't so lucky. b0nybr0 dragged b0n3rz from being hypnotized by all the breasts aroudn him. he dragged him back to masterection's shop, and threw his body in. it flailed about before he seemed to zone back into reality. "sorry man, i got lost staring at that amazing cleavage."
b0n3rz then opened the door to masterecions training room and the smell of bleach filled the air. what they saw was horrifying. to say the least it was a highly homosexual orgy, to say the most fuck that that's gay and graphic and you dont' want to see the old asian guy in a gay orgy trust me. "oh hello you two, are you back for more training?" masterection said,
not stopping his orgy. "no we need shit to stop the fucking fire assholes." b0n3rz said, not even phased. "yeah do we have like glasses that shoot lasers or thongs that have drills or even a shitty cape or-" b0nybr0 attempted to say, but was interrupted by maserection. "do i look gay to you." he stated. before anyone could bitch about how unfunny that joke was, the entire
orgy was torched by fire that appeared ffrom the window.
"goddamn fire nation nazi motherfuckers." b0nybr0 said, pulling a shotgun out of somewhere that's none of your damn buisness.
TO BE CONTINUED IN CHAPTER 2
WHENEVER THAT GETS ADDED