Disclaimer: I don't own CatCF, that belongs to Roald Dahl, Warner Bros. And of course Tim Burton. This is the most messed up fic so I don't blame you if you hate this or think its just fucked up.
Willy: Ok children, your dumbass parents want me to watch over you...so I'm in charge! First off-
Mike: Go fuck yourself!
Willy: (Cries) FIGHT MEH, YUU SON OF A DICK!
Mike: BITCH I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK YOU DO BUT YUU GONNA BE A DEAD SON OF GAY BITCH I TELL YUU DAT!
Charlie: (drowns himself in the chocolate river)
Veruca: Whats a bitch?
Willy: The correct definition of a bitch is Veruca Salt!
Augustus: (sits on Mike's face...farts)
Mike: AAAAAAAAAAAA IT SMELLS LIKE A SHIT BAR! HELP MEH, PLZ!
Violet: What the Fack!
Oompa Loompa: (sings) Oompa Loompa (something something something) Augustus just took a great big poop!
Veruca: (joins char-char in drowning) KILL MEH!
Augustus grabbed Willy and Mike and started to drown them in the chocolate river.
Willy: I don't give a fuck if you drown meh, but not in my own creation...
Augustus: Shut up, you pedo!
Willy: Im not a pedofile you shit face cock master!
Violet: Hey Mr. Wonka! Whats this thing that's shaped like a dildo?
Willy: It's a chocolate dick! It also has a cream filling!
…..Im ending this( jumps out of building...dies)
I know you guys must think I have issues, I don't its just that im socially weird im lucky to even have friends!