A/N: Simon's going off to college in California. He and Izzy have been dating for a year, and with just a month left before he leaves, he takes her out for a very special anniversary celebration. AU. Izzy POV.
Song: Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey. Linky: /watch?v=TdrL3QxjyVw
Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That, baby, you're the best…
It's the last summer we'll have together like this.
Simon's going off to college across the country in less than month. I'm not stupid. I know what happens when people try the long-distance thing. It rarely works out. Especially when it's someone's first time at university. Everyone knows freshman year is party central. I know my Simon's not really like that, but he's sexy as hell, and I just know girls will be throwing themselves at him.
Even if he does remain faithful, though, things will be different when he gets back. He will be different. I might be different, too. A lot can happen in a year.
I got my red dress on tonight
Dancing in the dark in the pale moonlight
Done my hair up real big beauty queen style
High heels off, I'm feeling alive
I hear Simon honk out front and race to the street to meet him. It's a dark night despite being midsummer.
Simon said he's taking me somewhere special tonight. He won't even give me a hint.
'It's a surprise,' he said. I hate surprises. Not so much because I'm afraid I won't like them, but more so because you can't prepare properly when you don't know where you'll be going.
It's the anniversary of when we first started dating, and I've dolled myself up even more than usual.
I'm wearing a dress I bought yesterday just for tonight. It's a tight red satin number that goes about mid-thigh with a small slit up one side. It's cinched right under the bust like a Georgian gown, and the straps rest delicately on my pale, Marked shoulders. I have matching red heels, the ones that make me the same height as my baby, but my hair is done up so high that I look taller than him. I've got sparkling gold pins in my hair that match my jewellery set and eye shadow, but my lipstick and nail polish match the red of my shoes and dress.
It's a warm night, so I don't bring a jacket. I've stashed a few weapons in my purse, since I don't have many other places to put them. I'm hoping we don't get disturbed, though.
Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare
Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore
When I see him leaning against the passenger's door, waiting for me, my heart leaps.
He's dressed up for me, which I know he hates doing. Instead of his normal jeans and T-shirt, he's wearing a handsome striped blue and white button-down with the first few buttons undone just how I like. Over it, he's got the black blazer I bought him for his birthday and black trousers to match. His shoes are not completely formal, but at least they're not sneakers, so I forgive him because the rest of him looks so good.
He seemed to be biting his cuticles, a nervous habit I've been trying to break him of the entire time we've been together, but when he sees me, he forgets all about his hand. It remains frozen next to his mouth, which opens slightly as his eyes widen. He looks stunned, and I know that all my hard work was not in vain.
As I saunter up to him seductively, I slide my bag over my shoulder and let my hands slither into his mess of dark curls. I've taught him how to rock the messy bedhead style, and damn, does he do it well now. Our eyes meet, and I feel his hands around my waist, pulling me forcibly to him. I smirk, remembering the time when he was far too insecure to ever do anything like that. He probably would have grown more comfortable with me anyway after having dated for so long, but there's something feral about his movements from time to time that makes me wonder if he'd have been so rough with me if he hadn't been turned. I know that I can at least use my full strength with him now, which I definitely would never have been able to do when he was just a mundane.
He leans in to kiss me, but I turn my head so his kiss lands on my cheek instead. He growls at me angrily, but I say, simply,
"The night has just begun! You don't want to ruin my makeup, do you? Don't you like it?"
I can hear the crackling of electricity in the phone wires above us. The air is thick with the summer's heat, but I can feel myself growing hotter than the air despite Simon's cool body temperature.
When I'm with him, everything fades away, and every worry, every care, every fear, and every doubt I hold inside of myself dissolves. I look into his eyes, and he's all that exists.
(1, 2, 3, 4)
Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That, baby, you're the best
My impatient baby huffs briefly before lovingly stroking my face, letting me know how much he does appreciate my efforts to please him. He opens the door for me like the gentleman that he is before sliding into the driver's seat. He turns on some music at a low volume that sets the mood perfectly. His band may suck, but he at least does have a good ear for music. He's shown me quite a few mundie groups that I didn't hate at all. I even grudgingly attended several concerts with him and was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed them. Music is a huge turn on for him so I think I was most pleased by how handsy he got at the concerts. Every time we sleep together, he plays a soundtrack in the background. I thought it was kind of weird at first, but now it makes me feel like I'm in a movie, so I don't mind.
We're speeding down the highway now, having left the city far behind. I've got my bare feet up on the dash, heels discarded on the floor of the car next to my purse. My dress has slid further up my thigh, the tight material wrinkling around my waist. I can see Simon trying to not look at my legs every few minutes. I laugh to myself and would try to provoke him further if I didn't want him to crash.
I got that summertime, summertime sadness
S-s-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
He's barely speaking, which is unusual. Typically, he's blathering away about something that happened that day, the band, something funny he read, cracking jokes, anything. He's been avoiding the subject of college, knowing that it makes me a bit tense. I don't like to think about the fact that he's going to be leaving me so soon. And what that might mean for our relationship...
In his silence, I feel a tension that's reminiscent of how I get when I'm thinking ahead. Maybe he is, too, right now. There's a sadness behind his eyes that's causing me to force myself not to go there. I don't want to ruin the night. I don't want to ruin these precious last moments we are going to have together. I decide to try to lighten the mood.
"So where are we going? Somewhere pretty far away, it seems." I play with a lock of stray hair that's fallen from my bun flirtatiously. My other hand rubs his thigh gently. I'm rewarded with a smile as he looks down at my hand, then up to meet my gaze.
"Nope. Not gonna spill. You have to wait for your treats, my little Shadowhunter."
I pout at him with big eyes and full lips and whine like a puppy. He laughs his beautiful open laugh that makes me feel like I can tell him anything. My darkest secrets... That makes me feel like I can show him every part of me and he'll accept me and love me, warts and all. He laughs a lot, but every time he does, my world lights up, and I feel like there's nothing else I could ever want.
I'm feelin' electric tonight
Cruising down the coast goin' 'bout 99
Got my bad baby by my heavenly side
I know if I go, I'll die happy tonight
He's got the windows down, and the warm air brushing past my arm is sending shivers down my spine. It reminds me of when Simon does that thing… that thing where he blows on my skin…. Just thinking about it makes the shivers intensify.
We're going really fast now, but there's hardly anyone on the road. Benefit of it being a weeknight. Normally I'm not a fan of cars. I'm not really used to them, living in the city where we usually take public transit, or if we're in a car, it never goes that fast due to traffic. Not to mention the fact that cars don't even exist in Idris.
We've left the city a few times together now and Simon's kind of a speed demon. I don't know if he was always like this or if his brush with death, excuse me, actual death, has anything to do with his lack of fear. While at first I was not that okay with it, I just look at my moonlit boyfriend, the only vampire I've ever dated, the only guy I've ever really seriously dated, and I realize that there's nothing to be afraid of. Even if we crashed and I died, I'd be next to him and everything would be okay.
I've noticed that as time has past, he seems to have embraced his vampire nature more, and I'm glad because all of that inner turmoil was causing more angst than I'm a fan of. In fact, angst in general isn't my thing. I've always been one to know what I want and get it. I don't have time for games; I don't like to beat about bushes and dance around difficult subjects. You either know what you want or you don't. This applies in every aspect of life. If you don't know what you want, you find out. And if you don't want to find out, well, then, I don't want you in my life.
Simon, I was thrilled to discover, realized that what he wanted most was me, so anything that caused distance between us, he instantly removed. But now… now, he's chosen something other than me. And my heart is breaking...
Oh, my God, I feel it in the air
Telephone wires above are sizzling like a snare
Honey, I'm on fire, I feel it everywhere
Nothing scares me anymore
We've come to a little town now. I don't recognize it. My curiosity triples.
As I step out of the car, I hear the sound of water splashing gently in the distance. The crisp scent of ocean air fills my nostrils and the tiny droplets of spray carried on the wind kiss my skin. I look at my boyfriend wonderingly but he simply smiles and holds his arm out to me.
My senses are heightened and I can hear everything, see, smell, feel, and taste everything. There's a little cottage by the coastline, and the smell of delicious food sizzling over an open flame tantalizes me. I can hear music now and people laughing and talking. There doesn't sound to be many voices, and it's such a remote location, I'm surprised anyone's here at all.
As we get closer, I can see light flooding out from behind the building, as well as dimmed light inside of it. Simon opens the door for me and as my eyes adjust to the brightness, I gasp with joy when I step into the room. Simon's always known that I want to visit Cuba more than anywhere else, but this is too much.
The room we've stepped into is by no means large, but it's decorated like a Cuban restaurant. I realize that the music playing is a mix of classic salsa tracks, sultry and electrifying. My hips already start swaying.
The lights are dimmed but the colors in the room are bright and warming. I realize that all of the people sitting at the tables scattered around the room, as well as the servers bringing the diners platters of traditional Cuban dishes, are all of Simon and my closest friends. They're pretending they don't know us, but I see Clary look up at me and wink before returning to what looks like a very engrossing conversation with Jace. I chuckle to myself, thinking that they've all really gone over the top this time.
(1, 2, 3, 4)
Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That, baby, you're the best
After a moment of taking everything in, Alec appears dressed in a waiter's uniform. I nearly laugh out loud when I see him like that, but try to be serious to not spoil the moment.
"Good evening, and thank you for visiting Casa de Sueños. We hope we can make your dreams come true tonight." He grins, and I exchange an amused sideways glance with Simon, thanking him wholeheartedly with my eyes. I'm very glad I chose this outfit. It goes perfectly with the Latin theme. "Please follow me to your table." Alec's formality is killing me, but I am trying to get into the mood.
I'm trying desperately not to ask questions like, 'How did you pull all of this off? Where are we anyway? Where's Magnus?' The last question gets answered as we pass the kitchen. There's a large opening in the wall where the plates are placed when they're ready to be brought to the customers – our friends, I think contentedly. It's cool because I won't be the only one enjoying all this tonight. I know Simon can't eat so it's nice to think that everyone else can have some of the food instead. Magnus wiggles his fingers at me as he pokes a wooden spoon into a large pot. I can see some blue sparks at his fingertips and wonder if he had something to do with arranging everything.
We're led out onto the back porch, which is much larger than the room inside. There are a few tables here and there, but they're mostly unoccupied. People are dancing in the middle of the patio, and there's a live band playing behind them. There are colored lanterns strung up all around the patio and tiki torches to keep the bugs away. On either side of the porch, I notice more torches illuminating pathways down to the beach. I wonder if dinner and dancing isn't all that's been planned for tonight.
I got that summertime, summertime sadness
S-s-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Alec seats us at a gorgeously decorated table with festive-looking candles and flowers. He says there's only the special tonight, but that he knows I'll love it. I beam at him as he leaves telling us that he'll bring drinks in a moment. It's hard to feel sad with so much activity and color. Everything is so beautiful and celebratory that I'm just sitting here revelling in its splendour. They really managed to capture the sights and smells of Cuba, or at least, what I imagine Cuba would be like. At the very least, I definitely don't feel like I'm still in America.
Simon reaches a hand over the table to grasp mine, bringing me back from my contented musings. He strokes his thumb over my mine and smiles softly, looking at me in anticipation.
"Do you like it?" He asks, quietly, almost apprehensively.
"Like it?! What are you crazy?" His eyes widen with fear. I internally chuckle noticing that he misunderstood me. "I love it, Simon. It's amazing. Thank you so much! Really." I lean across the table and kiss him. He moves to deepen the kiss, but I pull away, settling back into my chair with a grin.
"I thought you said you liked it!" He teases me, playfully.
"Mmm, but we haven't even had dinner yet. How can we skip to dessert?" My eyes twinkle at him mischievously. I used to toy with him flirtatiously when he got easily embarrassed, loving how I had him in the palm of my hand. Right now, despite my pretenses, I know I'm trapped in his. And I wouldn't want it any other way.
Think I'll miss you forever
Like the stars miss the sun in the morning sky
Later's better than never
Even if you're gone I'm gonna drive (drive, drive)
I never knew what being in love felt like before. I was starting to think that it was just something lonely people made up, people who had nothing better to do, or people who couldn't get laid. Now I know it's like feeling like a part of yourself is missing, only to be filled by that one special person's presence. When I haven't seen Simon in just days I go crazy; how am I going to survive a whole year?
Simon said he was going to leave Alec his car while he's gone. I feel like I'll probably borrow it from him a lot just to cruise down the highway at night from time to time. Whenever I'm in a car flying down the highway, I think of Simon, so maybe it'll be a way to feel closer to him while he's gone.
The summer air smells sweet and the fresh, crisp scent of the ocean spray mixing with the heat is lovely. Whenever I'm outside of a city, I feel like I'm in Idris. It's the only place I know really well that doesn't smell like NYC: fast food, pollution, trash, and every other thing you can imagine. When you live in the city, all the good and bad smells blend together and just become air. You sort of forget that air can smell like anything else, so whenever it does, it's a little shock that takes me back to the Shadowhunter home country. It's nice.
Alec brings us glasses of water and red wine on a carved wooden tray. Simon's wine looks quite a bit thicker than mine and I giggle to myself. I'm glad he's gotten over his bashfulness when feeding. He's really grown into his new identity well. I remember when the novelty of it all was alluring to me. I used to be all into dating people my parents would never approve of, but though I just did it for the thrill at first, I really came to love Simon for who he was, not just what.
Moments after the drinks, tiny little bowls and plates with an assortment of appetizers are brought before us and my stomach gurgles in excitement. I notice how hungry I am and dig in with enthusiasm. Simon is happily gulping away at his blood while he watches me feast. We chat idly as we enjoy each other's company and our surroundings. I can't remember the last time we went out like this. It's even cooler that we get to go out without having to deal with strangers. What a treat!
I got that summertime, summertime sadness
S-s-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I've just finished the appetizers (I'm not a girl who leaves anything behind if I like something) when the main course arrives.
Just like the appetizers were, it's a little taste of everything. The entree plate is organized into sections with a good portion of it being dedicated to rice and black beans, a staple of the Cuban diet. There are fried empanada-looking things, plantains, fresh herbs sprinkled on everything, and a ton of different types of meat, veggies, and sauces. Some stuff is grilled, some looks stewed, some fried, and some sautéed. I don't even know what half of these things are, but it looks like they did a good amount of research and then couldn't settle for just one dish. My sense of adventure is grateful for this because I always lament the fact that I can't order a little bit of ten or more dishes when going out to eat. It's part of why I like Dim Sum and Thalis so much. Also buffets. Sometimes I feel sad that Simon can't enjoy food anymore when I enjoy it so much, but he assures me that when he sees my enjoyment, he feels even more enjoyment than he would if he could taste the food directly. I think he's being silly, but it's sweet of him to say.
Not too long after the food has arrived have I finished scarfing it down. Some people would think it's rude to do that, especially if it had been specially prepared like this was, but Simon knows that if I finish something fast, it means I'm really liking it.
After I finish my water and wine, he stands and pulls me to the dance floor. It's a slow number, which I'm glad of since my belly is feeling super full now. As we're swaying back and forth to the music, I rest my head on his shoulder and see Magnus and Alec flirting across the counter that separates the kitchen from the host area. The cottage must have been a real restaurant or something at some point, but I find it hard to believe it still is since it's way out in the middle of nowhere. Maybe it was/is a Bed & Breakfast? I don't care enough to keep thinking about it, instead I just let myself melt into my Simon.
Kiss me hard before you go
Summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
That, baby, you're the best
Before long, the music has changed into a lively dance number and I hear cheering as all of our friends burst out of the room and onto the patio floor, joining in on the dancing. They must have planned to come out back when this song started. Our friends circle us, ushering us into the middle of everyone and we all break into wild salsa moves beaming at one another. I'm surprised to even see Jace getting into it. I'm not sure I've ever seen him dance before. Granted, a lot of his dance moves seem to be comprised of forcefully pulling Clary onto him. I'm reminded of Dirty Dancing and worry they're going to start going at it right then and there. I decide two can play that game and fling myself into Simon's arms. He blinks, startled, but quickly recovers and spins me around. Our laughter melts into that of our friends' and the rest of the night passes in a whirlwind of color and sound.
After a few hours of dancing our butts off but before we reach that point of the night where everyone is too tired to do anything else, Simon leads me by the hand down one of the trails that lead to the beach. Everyone else follows suit, either behind us or heading down the opposite trail.
I look at Simon with curious and affectionate eyes, wondering what on Earth else he possibly could have planned for the evening, when I suddenly see a bonfire flare up on the beach. There are blankets, huge beanbag chairs, and pillows scattered around the fire pit. My laughter is almost a cackle when I notice the s'more stuff next to the fire.
The first time Simon took me camping, he showed me what s'mores were and I nearly died from ecstasy. I was like, 'Cookies, chocolate, and crispy melty marshmallows all at once? Who is the genius that invented these beauties!? I want to kiss them!' Simon pointed at himself jokingly, and I flung myself onto him, kissing him exuberantly. Since then, s'mores have become my all-time favorite desert item.
Everybody settles onto various blankets, pillows, and beanbag things and cuddle up with one another. Despite the warm night, the sea spray adds a cool chill to the air, so the blankets are a very welcome addition to the evening.
Everyone takes a turn sharing a memory of Simon and my relationship, walking us down memory lane. I feel tears welling up behind my eyes, but am definitely not going to cry. I don't do that. After all of the s'more stuff is gone and people are starting to fall asleep to the gentle lull of Magnus' soft singing and Alec's skillful guitar-playing (they're a surprisingly good duo), Simon pulls me closer to him, stroking my hair and whispering into my ear.
"I love you, Isabelle Lightwood. I'll always love you. I know this year is going to be hard, but don't think for a second that I'll forget about you. I'm coming back. I'll always come back for you."
Despite my resolve, a tear trickles down my face. I'm never more vulnerable than when I'm with my Simon.
"I love you, too, Simon Lewis. Thank you so much for tonight. I can't even describe how happy I am right now. I couldn't have asked for anything else. You truly know my heart inside and out. I'll be waiting for you to come back every second you're gone. I'll always wait for you."
He leans down and kisses me deeply. I wrap my arms around his neck and we fall into each other. My eyes are closing and my heart is full. Underneath the perfect moment, I can still feel the twinge of sadness that's eating away at me.
My Simon… Don't leave me… My Simon…
I love him with all of my heart, and regardless of what happens between us, he'll always be a part of me. I push my sadness away and let myself become fully absorbed in the present moment, in the sensation of being tightly snuggled into his arms. I let my waking dream fade into slumber bringing with me the sound of the waves, the scent of the wood smoke, the knowledge that I'm surrounded by all of my best friends, and the feel of my love's body against mine.
I got that summertime, summertime sadness
S-s-summertime, summertime sadness
Got that summertime, summertime sadness
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh…