Slughorn's Date with Destiny

It was late morning after Transfiguration when Harry decided to give another shot at getting the memory out of Slughorn. With no plan in mind at all, Harry simply walked straight to Professor Slughorn's Office to ask him about Horcruxes. On the way he past Ginny and Dean and they were fighting in the middle of the Transfiguration courtyard. Harry smiled to himself but then thought, 'No! She's Ron's sister!' Even if Ginny and Dean did break up, Harry had no chance with her. Forgetting all this, he approached Slughorn's office and knocked on the large wooden door. Harry could hear footsteps and then Slughorn spoke.

'Who's there?' Slughorn sounded slightly nervous and Harry could tell he was in a rush.

'It's me Professor,' Harry said to the door. 'I was wondering if I could ask you about-'

'Sorry Harry,' Slughorn exclaimed. 'I am extremely busy and I need to get back to work. Goodbye.'

Harry could hear Slughorn locking the door and wobbling away to the other side of his office. Harry thought about how Dumbledore was disappointed last time Harry had failed to retrieve the memory so Harry picked up his wand and whispered, 'Alohomora'. The door creaked open to reveal a strangely beautiful Professor Slughorn inside.

'Professor?' Harry said. He stared at his Potions master in a way Hermione would stare at Ron and Lavender snogging.

'Merlin's beard Harry! What are you doing inside my office? I specifically told you to leave!' Slughorn's face had gone a deep shade of red and Harry could understand why.

Slughorn was wearing a magnificent long dress in the brightest shade of pink and a sliver rope tied around his waist. His hat was deep purple lined with a gold trimming and he was wearing a long black wig. By the looks of it, Slughorn was in the middle of doing his makeup, as there was a long line of lipstick just under his cheek. (He must have got distracted when someone had walked into his office unannounced)

'Er, Sir?' Harry's face now shared the same red colour as Slughorn's and they looked right into each other's eyes.

'Harry,' Professor Slughorn sighed and then proceeded to talk again. 'I think I'm gay.'

'Well I can see that Sir!' Harry's face had a slight smirk on it, but mostly it was utter disgust.

'Harry,' Slughorn told him. 'Please do not call me sir. My new name is Madam Destiny Sluggish.' Slughorn looked slightly proud now as he stood there in his silk dress.

'Sir, I mean- madam? Are those well, real?' Harry pointed to the top of Slughorn's dress where two large, round lumps sat.

Slughorn's eyes widened. He looked like he was about to strike Harry across the face. 'Of course they are, you silly boy!' The potions master began to stomp over to Harry but tripped over an old cauldron. As he did, two oranges rolled out from his dress and then over to Harry. Harry shuddered.

'When did this all start?' Harry looked at Slughorn waiting for an answer, he looked down on the oranges, then over to a box marked, 'PINK SILK DRESS' and then back to Slughorn. He spoke.

'Well,' He began. 'The other day when I was on a date with Pomon- I mean, Professor Sprout, she-'

Harry looked shocked. 'Wait a minute Professor. Why did you go on a date with Professor Sprout?'

'Well Harry my boy, you see, I'm not getting any younger. I need some excitement in my life!' Harry was still confounded with his Cross-dressing Professor, but nodded to let him continue. 'Now, back to the story! Professor Sprout and I were in the Herbology greenhouse having a wonderful time when she proceeded to kiss me,' Ignoring Harry's gasping, he continued. 'I backed away, I don't know why. I ran out of the Greenhouses and down to the Potions room and began to cry. It was then when I realised I was gay.

Harry looked as shocked as ever. His own potions master was a Cross-dressing, gay cry-baby? Though Harry still had questions needed to be answered before he left. 'Sir, I mean Madam. Why did you decide to dress like this?'

Slughorn looked dreamingly into the air. 'Ah! It was that very next day when I was strolling through the corridors of Hogwarts when I saw someone. This person was wonderful, irresistible, we stared into each other's eyes and we knew it was love at first sight. I just had to impress him!'

Harry was really scared now. Who was it that Slughorn thought was so great? It could have been anyone. Peeves? Snape? Dumbledore? Harry's mind was whirring and he now wanted to leave this awkward situation. At that very moment, there was a knock at the door. Seeing Slughorn had now transformed into a silky pink armchair, Harry proceeded to open the door. Harry could hear a distant Slughorn say, 'That will be him now.' Harry reached out and opened the door and saw the man standing there. His long hair was gelled right back and he was wearing a dark brown suit. He was holding bright pink flowers that matched Slughorn's dress and in the other hand was a small velvet box.

'FILCH!?' Harry screamed. 'Your mystery date is Filch.' Harry looked up and down the smiling Filch and then at the silky, pink armchair in the corner of the room. 'What do you see in Filch!?' Harry asked, sounding angry and worried at the same time.

Slughorn, still as an armchair began to list all the wonderful things about Filch. As he went on, Harry's face was getting more and more horrified and Filch's face was getting more and more delighted. '-and,' Slughorn finished. 'He has the most beautiful smile.' Harry looked over at Filch, who was now showing off his ugly, toothy grin. Harry began to walk away slowly, as he saw the last few words they spoke to each other.

'I bought these for you, Destiny.' Filch gave off a high pitched giggle and presented the flowers to Slughorn. 'l also bought ya' these!' Filch opened the velvet box to reveal a pair of diamond earrings. Slughorn smiled greatly.

'Get over her Argus, you Naughty boy!' Argus strutted over to the pink armchair, ripped his tie and shoes off and jumped face down into the chair. 'Oh you are the living end!' Slughorn let off a scream similar to the one given by Filch earlier. Of course, by this time, Harry had already run off from shock, straight to Dumbledore's office, shuddering all the way there.

Harry recited the password, 'Rainbow Gumdrops' to the gargoyle and as it opened he wondered by Dumbledore had changed his password to something so, well, girly!

'Sir! Sir!' Harry was still in shock when he spoke to the headmaster. 'You would never guess what I just saw!' So Harry told the headmaster the whole story about Slughorn while he listened to Harry's every word. He seemed especially interested when he found out that Slughorn was gay. After Harry had finished, Dumbledore gave Harry a warm hug and a small kiss on his head (Which Harry found quite disturbing). Harry left the office as Dumbledore stared at him leaving.

'Oh Horace,' Dumbledore said to himself. 'I always wondered about our summer of '75 we spent together, now it all makes sense. I could have taken you all along.' Dumbledore sighed as he looked at a picture of him and Slughorn so many years ago and then gave a slight giggle as he proceeded as normal again.