Dark Shina popped into my head and this happened, I'm not sorry.
"If it isn't my favorite baby Jounin!"
The amount of disgust that curled through Aburame Shina's stomach couldn't have been safe. The thirteen year old Jounin popped the last of her onigiri into her mouth, swirling around in her chair to eye the loud white haired Sannin that entered the local pub. She hadn't seen anyone from Konoha since she was nine and became a Jounin, leaving The Hidden Leaf Village to hop from bar to bar, passing her time by doing simple pay and kill jobs. She liked it that way.
It was no surprise as to why she never wanted to think about her hometown village again.
As a young, reincarnated, adult baby, Shina was watched by the Hokage's ANBU and driven by her instinct to protect her loved ones, she was forced to become a prodegy in her villages eyes' and made to graduate from the Ninja Academy far too early. Seven years old when she became a Genin, eight years old when she became a Chunin, and nine years old when she became a Jounin.
That meant she had blood on her hands at eight years old, and while she was mentally adult, her body wasn't. She struggled with the guilt and depression that came from a child ending a life.
Jiraiya The White Haired Toad Sannin was her Jounin mentor when she'd first been a genin and he was the bane of her existence. Sure, he was previously one of her favorite characters, but he was one of the major supporters of Hiruzen pushing Shina into the fields, seieng as she was his only student, once he took three months to fully train her, he didn't even want a genin team, he just wanted to get Shina to become a legend.
Shina didn't even bother hiding her distaste as she noticed the little blonde gaki that followed him.
Ahh, Naruto travelling with Jiraiya? So, we'd reached Shippuden Shina took a gulp of her sake I bet I know what he's for.
"Jiraiya, shouldn't you be searching for Tsunade? I don't know what you think I could provide for you two, but I probably wont. I have things I'm busy with so...scram."
As expected, Naruto got all loud with the questions 'who do you think you are?' 'how does she know my name, pervy-sage?' Not that Shina planned on even batting and eye at him...however...She grinned, shoving a couple of her kikaichu onto Naruto when Jiraiya was telling himt o shut it.
Paying any attention to him would affect canon, but seeing if anything she'd done while she was in Konoha had changed shippuden by watching via kikaichu probably wouldn't.
"Ah, ah, ah, Shina" Jiraiya tutted, picking up the wiggling kikaichu and practically throwing the poor things at her. She pouted, watching as realization slithered through Naruto's veins. Now the gaki knew who she was...sorta.
"That's why you look like Shino! You're an Aburame, huh? You're not as ugly as the rest of your clan...definantly creepy, though..." Minato's brat began mumbling.
Jiraiya hurried to get him to shutup, knowing that dealing with an annoyed Shina was one thing but an angry one was something completely different.
"I wonder what your father would say if you heard you now, huh Naruto? We were quite close, you know, before he bit it. Whatever, I feel so bad now. You're quite the disapointment, Minato's probably rolling over in his grave now" Shina felt quite like a mischevious version of Professor Snape from Harry Potter as she sipped her Sake and tossed the insults around, winking at Jiraiya.
Maybe if she got lucky she'd get him to go all kyuubi on the pub and destroy everything.
She watched as Naruto's eye's watered ans his fists clenched "you're going to regret saying that to me when I'm the Hokage, got it lady?!"
"Pfft" she grinned and set her drink on the counter "if you ever get the position of Hokage, it probably won't last long because you'll fuck it up, probably. Every Hokage has been a prodigy, and what are you? A sad orphan who the only reason he's even gotten this far is off of the training thrown at him because of who his father was."
" 'Kay, Hokage. Anyway, spit it out or shit and get Jiraiya, I've got important business to deal with" even though they both knew that was a lie. Her business was killing when she felt like it and drinking herself to death.
Shina's eyebrow twitched as Jiraiya got all serious like the day he forced me into the Chunin exams If how she treated Naruto wasn't enough to get him to realize she was a lost cause then she'd probably end up resorting to siding with Orochimaru, just for the simple fact that she didn't want to deal with him again.
"You were right about-"
Shina cut him off "the Tsunade thing, yeah, I know, what do you need me for though?"
Just say it, Jiraiya. I'd never taken you for a pussy.
"Its too difficult training Naruto while searching for Tsunade, you need to come with us. I'm not afraid to take you by force Shina."
The entire pub silenced as Shina burst into hysterical laughter, even her kikaichu seemed to giggle, humming really. Her whole body shook with disbelief.
"Okay let me get this straight, you want to force me to babysit Naruto, you think you can force me? Alright, Naruto being a good Hokage is more likely than that!"
The small amount of customers sitting in the pub seemed to turn grey, scared whispers revolving around the room, the groups cringing.
She stood up off of her stool, speeding to the back of the pub and bringing up all of her defenses. Her kikaichu wrapped around all of her open skin, the only opening being her chakra chord's that sprung from her molecules, swing around, ready to stick to anyone who dared step too close.
Shina bit into her thumb and went through the signs and before Jiraiya knew it, spiders seemed to cover every inch of the pub, the door and windows blocked from them.
"Like my new summon, Jiraiya?"
The sannin shoved Naruto behind him and the battle begun.