You Do What You Have To Do

by Enigma1910

What ravages of spirit; conjures this temptuous rage; created you a monster, broken by the rule of love; and fate has led you through it, you do what you have to do. and fate has led you through it you do what you have to do.

Samantha Carter fell into her desk chair, emotionaly exhausted. She leaned back, proping her feat upon a shelf, thinking about their last mission. It was just another one they barely survived. Daniel was, of course, under Dr. Fraiser's care for the night. 'For such a smart guy,' Sam thought, 'he sure has hit his head one too many times.' The Colonel was there with him now. Sam shifted her legs, and rested her head on her arms. She mused at how after all they'd been through, the Colonel still treated Daniel like a kid brother, or a son.

'Jack,' she said in her mind.

But I have the sense to recognize, that I don't know how to let you go; every moment marked, with apparitions of your soul; I'm ever swiftly moving, trying to escape this desire; the yearning to be near you, I do what I have to do. the yearning to be near you, I do what I have to do.

She could never stop thinking about him when they returned from a mission. No matter how bad, O'Neill kept cracking jokes, and teasing her. Whenever they made it back from a mission, she just wanted to throw her arms around him and thank the stars he was fine.

But I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go. that I don't know how to let you go.

'Stop it,' she scolded herself, 'he's your CO and you have to stop thinking about him like that.'

She knew she wouldn't though, she couldn't. As much as what she felt scared her. Even though she knew it could split SG-1 up, for good. She couldn't let that happen. She loved Jack ('Colonel O'Neill,' she reminded herself). She couldn't bear to lose him.

"AUGH!"

She attempted to scream out her frusteration. She hated depending on one person so much. She wished she could just let go of all her feelings and....

Glowing ember, burning hot, and burning slow; deep within I'm shaken by the balance of existing, for only you; I know I can't be with you, I do what I have to do. I know I can't be with you, I do what I have to do.

"Carter?"

She gasped and jumped, turning towards the door. Colonel O'Neill's voice then repeated,

"Carter? You okay?"

"Yes sir, just jumpy."

He grinned and chuckled at her. She couldn't deide whether to melt, or to deck him.

"Maybe you should try getting some sleep then," he pointed to the clock on the wall that clearly read 4:23AM.

"Yeah," she conceeded, "maybe I should. Care to join me?"

'Oh my God! Did I really just say that?'

"Samantha?"

'Holy Hannah! Samantha?'

"You should really look in a mirror, Colonel, your eyes are starting to resemble a racoon's."

'Nice save Carter.'

"Nah, I'll probably crash after I go check on Daniel again."

"Tell him goodnight for me, sir."

"Will do, and Sam? Try not to scream in the middle of the night on base, gets people's attention."

"Goodnight Colonel."

"Same to you."

'I wish.'

But I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go don't know how to let you go don't know how to let you go And I don't know how to let you go.

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Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate SG-1 in any way shape or form. Someone else does. I don't own Sarah McLaughlin's music either. She presumably does. Note to Lawyers, is this really what you need in life to feel special??? :)

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