The Notice

He takes in a deep whiff of the fragrant, February flora as the season's magic began to settle in, grinning to himself as he took in the sights. The month of the Hero's Heart had always been his favorite time of the year, without a doubt, and this year's Hero's Heart Day looked to be the best one yet!

He had so many things planned out, so many events he was going to host and, for once, he had everything he needed to make it work. Stacks of Fire Elemental Embers and boxes of Limeworks for crafting the Sparks of First Love? Check! Ultra-sweet, super-sticky sundaes and Heart-element soulthreads for mending broken hearts? Check! Cysero-brand, overpriced singing parchment and three books of San Robin's cheesiest puns for this year's new and improved snugglegrams? Check! A whole palace made out entirely out of sugar, chocolate, and strawberries for this year's heart-throbbing, heartstopping ballroom extravaganza?! Check!

He literally already had everything he needed to make this year's Hero's Heart Day as perfect as perfect could be and with his warriors of love already coming in for the snugglegram deliveries and annual love-themed-monster bashings, he was almost guaranteed a perfect, protected, and profitable heart-themed holiday. And best of all? He managed to put Sir Stephan on the trail of a notorious honey thief in the Forest of a Hundred Feet so there was absolutely NO CHANCE of him barging in on the love parade! He was all set!

Almost!

All he needed to do now was to get one of his warriors of love on the trail of the snugvils who stole his shipment of specially commissioned, Cauldron's Sisters' Candy-brand Chalk-o Choc Candy Hearts and he'd be all set. Really! It was that easy! Honestly, the minute they finished setting up shop, he was going to go on ahead, call the Hero up to the Forest of Infinite Terror, and have her hunt down his cargo for him.

He watches as Missy sets the last of the Class VI Ebony and Roses scythes onto the rack, neatly adjusting the lot so that the crystal hearts would be in a perfect position to catch the light.

There it was! The minute they'd finished setting up shop was here! Now, all that was left was to write out the usual summons and they could finally get Hero's Heart Day officially started.

"Sir?" It was Lola, one of his loyal Valentine Valkyries, straining under the weight of the stack of letters in her arms before he takes them off of her hands. "Mail from Falconreach."

Ah, yes, the annual snugglegram requests. He always loved it when they came in. They smelled like hope, love, and, most fragrant of all... profit.

The envelope at the top of the stack looked the most promising. Made out of expensive, perfumed pink parchment embellished with what looked like actual gold foil, sealed with a gob of red wax stamped with an impression of a heart, it was ridiculously flashy, needlessly expensive, and almost painfully cheesy.

In other words, it was absolutely perfect for the season. He'd send out his best warrior of love at half-price for this kind of dedication to the holiday. It was just so... so beautiful.

He took it eagerly off the stack. His address, and his names, both his old alias from his adventuring days (how did anyone still know that?) and his current title, were written prominently in the center in bright, golden letters but there was only one line written where the sender's information should've been. Riese of Falconreach, it read.

"Oh, it's from the Hero," he says, just a bit surprised. Given that she could've delivered any snugglegrams on her own, she wouldn't have needed to send a request. "I was just about to send for her. Wonder what she could want? Normally, she never writes me..."

There was a bright red card in the envelope, heart-shaped and decorated with frills and adorned with bits of rhinestones and satin ribbons. He didn't always agree with her and her skeptical, harridan ways, but he had to admit, she knew style.

Inside, written in her distinctive chicken scratch, was a message.

To Big Daddy,

About whatever it is you're going to ask me to do this year:

NO.

Sincerely,

The Hero of Falconreach

"That can't be right," he mumbles, frowning at the parchment. Yet the words on the note did not change. The NO, elaborately calligraphed onto the paper in a font about the size of his hand, looked stark against the paper of the card, the shining gold ink contrasting sharply with the bright red. Compared with the roughness of the handwriting surrounding it, the NO looked even more prominent.

"Sir," Missy, his other Valentine Valkyrie, called out, the envelope in her hands. "There's another note here - "

It was a card similar to the one he'd read, only in this one, the massive 'NO' was instead replaced with dozens of other words written in the same, elaborate calligraphy, arranged in the shape of a massive 'NO'. The whole of the golden arrangement had even been outlined in white ink, just to make the large 'NO' all the more noticeable. He squints at the smaller words. On closer look, not all of the little words were written in the common script, with a good number of the words written in scripts he couldn't decipher. However, even the words that were written in the common alphabet seemed to be words of different languages, ones he couldn't understand.

"I can't understand these," he complains, looking up at his Valentine Valkyries, frustration clear in his eyes.

Missy coughs. "They all say no, sir. In different languages."

He blinks at her. "Really?"

Lola takes the paper off his hands, squinting at it. "Well, not quite..." She points at one of the words making the 'N'. "This one means 'I refuse', this one translates to 'I won't do it', this one says 'I refuse to do it', this one says - "

"I think I get it," he interrupts, frowning. "But - I just don't get it! Why? What could be so important that she's skipping out on the most important time of the year!?"

"Well, there was a war last week, wasn't there?" Missy says speculatively. "Maybe she's taking a break?"

He only scoffs. "There's a war every year. She's never taken a break before."

Lola looks contemplative. "Maybe it was a very big war?"

He wouldn't know, honestly. He'd had the Forest of Infinite Terror protected by his patented Love Shields for quite some time now and whatever went on outside them, he only ever heard about in post. But still, big war or no, it was just irresponsible for her to just shirk her duties as one of his Snugglebears! They made a commitment, she signed a contract, and the snugglegrams certainly weren't going to up and deliver themselves!

Actually, that wasn't a bad idea...

Still! Right now, snugglegrams couldn't deliver themselves and he had a shipment of candy that needed finding. He needed her right now. Broken hearts, young love, and a portion of his profit margins depended on it!

"Ladies," he says, putting down the card with an expression of determination. "We're going to find out."

His Valkyries looked confused. "Sir?"

He grins. "We're going to give the Hero a visit!"

Falconreach was in fairly bad shape, what with the black snow and all the rubble and all, but it was still standing and, as far as he was concerned, that meant it was still good for business. In fact, that meant it was better for business. Wars broke hearts, that was common knowledge, and for a man in the business of mending them, recently-ended wars made for golden opportunities. Besides, with all the Hate rampant in the aftermath of wars, he knew that love was a necessity in bringing the citizens' spirits up.

And if he stood to make a bit of profit out of it? Well... it was a win-win for everyone.

Still, he had to admit, the town took a real battering. Almost all of the building on the main road had been replaced by tents and the road itself was pockmarked with craters. The Falconreach residential districts were in almost as bad shape but, for their part, most of the houses there were still standing, the ones damaged already in the process of being mended by both hammer and staff, with construction moglins working hand in hand with repair mages to reconstruct the most battered of them. House-Orb Real Estate certainly lived up to its reputation, he had to say. In any case, it was easy enough to tell which of them was his destination even without having to remember the address. It was easily one of the least damaged houses on the neighborhood.

The Hero spared no expense in protecting her home. Despite all the damage done to the surrounding neighborhood, her own home still stood tall and proud. He can feel the threshold around it buzzing with power from all the protective wards woven around it, magic enough to choke a cow. Anyone entering the house uninvited would've been knocked into Surewould at best, vaporized on the spot at worst.

So he knocks.

The door is opened a crack, multiple chain-locks keeping it from being fully opened. Through the mass of chains pulled between the door and door's frame, he can just barely make out a man's face, one framed by wavy, strawberry-blond hair that stood out starkly against the dark. What little he could see of it was regarding him cautiously.

"Yes?" asked the man, Haelan, if he remembered it correctly (and he always does), looking bemusedly down at him. He's never met the man in person before but that didn't mean he didn't know of him, despite some people's best efforts. Secret relationships or not, he knew love and he knew it well.

He clears his throat. "Is your wife home?"

The man frowns. Not a hint of surprise marred his features. "Yeah."

"Could you call her for me?"

He looked perplexed. "You're Big Daddy, aren't you?" he asks, looking from him to the Valentine Valkyries standing guard behind him.

He grins. "At your service!"

His frown deepened. "Didn't you get the note?"

"Yes," he admits, not quite sure what to make of his expression. "But I'm sure if I could just talk to her, we can all work something out, come to an agreement."

He only sighed. The door was shut for a few seconds as he undid the chainbolts. When he opened the door, his arms were crossed over his aproned chest, an envelope held in his hand. "She told me this would happen," he muttered, weary. "Here. For you."

It was another letter in the same style as the one from earlier, with another heart-shaped card inside. On it was embossed, in the same golden ink:

NO MEANS NO

"There's something on the back," Haelan says helpfully.

He flips it over. The back was a mess of golden letters, most prominent of which were the words 'I MEAN IT' written over and over again among the words he couldn't read.

He looks up, frustrated "But - I need a hero!"

"I'm very sorry," he said, not actually sounding all the sorry though he did, at least, sound polite. "But the war has been rough and my wife is resting. I can recommend you some other heroes, if you're looking to hire an adventurer?"

"No thanks," he grouses, pouting. He had his own list of backup warriors, most of them from the five years the Hero'd been on ice. None of them were as reliable at killing things, of course, but they could do the job okay. Only 'okay' though. Stupid, selfish heroes. "Thanks anyway."

He inclined his head politely to each of them. "Safe travels. Happy Hero's Heart day." Then the door was shut and the locks reset in place. The chains jangle and bounce against the door for a few moments after.

Lola and Missy were waiting behind him, sympathy clear on their faces.

"It'll be fine, sir," Missy tries as they began to trek back. "We can always call on the other heroes for assistance."

"But I wanted the Hero," he complains. "She's always good for killing things. It was just a war; you think they could handle it in their sleep by now," Annoyed, arms crossed as he walked, he continues on griping. "This is love, people! Love! What could be more important than love?!"

Missy coughs. "Um, sir? You did notice what he was wearing, didn't you?"

The question was a bit... strange but he thinks on it, anyway. "I didn't; I only saw his apron," he remarks, looking contemplative for a second or two. He honestly hadn't been paying all that much attention to how he looked. "I didn't see what he was wearing underneath."

This time, it's Lola who coughs.

"That's because he wasn't wearing anything underneath."

He stops.

"What?"

Their grins amused, approving, and identical, the two of them nod.

He remembers how the man had looked standing in the doorway. He hadn't been paying much attention at the time, though he had noted he looked like how he head he would. He can remember it now. The apron he'd been wearing had definitely been practical-looking, having been knee-length and plain and without frills or embellishments, save for the words neatly embroidered across the front. He hadn't really read it at the time but now, looking back, he could remember them reading...

The Hero's Hero

"Oh. Ohhhhh."

Then a grin spread over his features. That was certainly one way to express the spirit of the holiday.

"Well. I suppose I can give her a pass juuust this once."

AN: Well, I did say I'd be posting stuff over the week. Writing for uni cut down my editing time though, sadly. This one was written shortly after the Black Winter War. I kinda wondered what the in-game reason for the absence of an HHD release and ended up starting on this as a result. I'll admit, I ended up having a little too much fun with the idea. Hope someone liked it.

Feedback'd be appreciated.

EDIT: Just a note: the next chapter isn't all that lulzy and is more of just a bonus thing.