Before I met her, I had a simple life. Albeit boring, but simple.
I went to a job that required very little of me now. In fact, it was a job that I had once loved, but eventually grew to hate. When I first joined the CIA, I was naive. A rookie who thought he was going to save the world. I was bright-eyed, energetic and gun-ho on stopping the bad guys. However, I quickly learned that those traits weren't exactly looked upon highly in this business. Many thought you were a loose cannon if you showed too much excitement. They thought that you would put lives in danger by not thinking things through. Little did they know, I covered all my bases when someone else's life was at stake. I had learned that much by my father's death. I can still remember the look on my father's handler's face at the funeral. I was only eight at the time and my life had been turned upside down. My mom had been a mess and I did my best to be stoic, to remain strong. I had stood there with my mom, trying my best to keep from crying when all I really wanted was a hug,
as she was handed a folded American flag. It was at that exact moment when I knew that I was going to follow in my father's footsteps. Protect the American flag as best I could. These days I had been confined to sitting behind a desk, following up on various cases that came through to me. That was until the day, the day that changed the rest of my life, the agency decided to give me an agent. A young girl who walked into us with bozo colored hair and missing teeth.
I had a girlfriend who I loved very much. Or so I had thought. My life with Alice had been comfortable. Convenient, to be absolutely honest. We'd been together for as long as I could remember and she was good for me. She went with the flow, didn't ask too many questions about my job. She knew that I couldn't talk about it and she accepted it. So many relationships before her couldn't get past the secrecy of my job. That's how I knew a relationship was going to work. Whether or not they could live with not knowing the truth. Alice didn't ask questions when I suddenly started getting phone calls in the middle of the night and she didn't ask questions when I frantically got dressed and practically raced out the door afterwards. She lived with the lies for as long as I would let her. One morning I woke up and realized that this isn't the life that Alice deserved. This isn't the life that she had planned and it wasn't fair to her or me. She deserved a man who could be completely
honest and open with her. She deserved a man who wasn't putting her life at risk every time he left their apartment. She deserved a man who was completely and totally 100% in love with her. I couldn't give her that and that's why I ended it. Or so I tell myself at least. That's my way of convincing myself that the raven-haired agent I watch over isn't the reason I broke up with Alice.
Now that Sydney was in my life, it would never be the same.
I went to a job that required very little of me now. In fact, it was a job that I had once loved, but eventually grew to hate. When I first joined the CIA, I was naive. A rookie who thought he was going to save the world. I was bright-eyed, energetic and gun-ho on stopping the bad guys. However, I quickly learned that those traits weren't exactly looked upon highly in this business. Many thought you were a loose cannon if you showed too much excitement. They thought that you would put lives in danger by not thinking things through. Little did they know, I covered all my bases when someone else's life was at stake. I had learned that much by my father's death. I can still remember the look on my father's handler's face at the funeral. I was only eight at the time and my life had been turned upside down. My mom had been a mess and I did my best to be stoic, to remain strong. I had stood there with my mom, trying my best to keep from crying when all I really wanted was a hug,
as she was handed a folded American flag. It was at that exact moment when I knew that I was going to follow in my father's footsteps. Protect the American flag as best I could. These days I had been confined to sitting behind a desk, following up on various cases that came through to me. That was until the day, the day that changed the rest of my life, the agency decided to give me an agent. A young girl who walked into us with bozo colored hair and missing teeth.
I had a girlfriend who I loved very much. Or so I had thought. My life with Alice had been comfortable. Convenient, to be absolutely honest. We'd been together for as long as I could remember and she was good for me. She went with the flow, didn't ask too many questions about my job. She knew that I couldn't talk about it and she accepted it. So many relationships before her couldn't get past the secrecy of my job. That's how I knew a relationship was going to work. Whether or not they could live with not knowing the truth. Alice didn't ask questions when I suddenly started getting phone calls in the middle of the night and she didn't ask questions when I frantically got dressed and practically raced out the door afterwards. She lived with the lies for as long as I would let her. One morning I woke up and realized that this isn't the life that Alice deserved. This isn't the life that she had planned and it wasn't fair to her or me. She deserved a man who could be completely
honest and open with her. She deserved a man who wasn't putting her life at risk every time he left their apartment. She deserved a man who was completely and totally 100% in love with her. I couldn't give her that and that's why I ended it. Or so I tell myself at least. That's my way of convincing myself that the raven-haired agent I watch over isn't the reason I broke up with Alice.
Now that Sydney was in my life, it would never be the same.