One Shot- Logan Fanfic.
The Mess of Tears...
I run to the bathroom, a mess of tears, food and blood. I could not hate myself more than I do right now. I'm a screw up. Hopeless. Loser. Freak. The pain never stops. I'm fat, and ugly with no talent. This world has never needed me and never will. I force my fingers to the back of my throat. I hate being sick, but it will make me thin like everyone wants. Society is killing me, but I'm so invisible no one notices. I try to be their idea of perfect, but it's never good enough. I can't fight this war on my own anymore. I'm leaving the cowards way out. That's what I do, I try but when I fail once, I give up. I don't even know why I bother trying. I should leave this planet. It's not like you would miss me. I told you my problems and you had the nerve to call me attention seeking. Some best friend you are. I told you things I had never told anyone else, I trusted you with my life. I just hope you can live with the guilt of what's to come.
I clean myself up quickly, and make my way to the door. Perfect, no one's in. For once things seem to be going right for once. I spend my time wondering which method would be best, obviously a gun would kill quickly but we don't have one. I could easily hang myself from up near the swirly slide, but it would ruin it for Carlos. Carlos, will he be okay without me? The bundle of hyper-activity, why would he need boring, lame Logan? The guys will all be fine. Kendall's the leader, he always held us, no, its now THEM together. James the confident pretty boy. He'll be fine. I hope. They won't miss me, well only when they have homework.
It's all their fault. The so called fans, I get sent horrible messages on Scuttlebutter, I told the one person I thought I could trust and got it thrown in my face. They were right. You all were right, I'm nothing but a pathetic loser trying to keep up with his friends. This is why in what, less than an hour? I'll be dead. PILLS. Ah, yes, an overdose of pills will kill me, I'll probably pass out and choke to death on my own vomit but at least I'll be dead. Aspirin is not strong enough, I need a mixture. Aspirin, and what else? Think Logan, you wanted to be a doctor. Hey, maybe I should just stab myself with a kitchen knife, Mama Knight did buy some pretty good ones. But it'll hurt, I don't like pain, only when I cut myself. It's amazing how much long sleeves can hide.
So that's it then, I'll use a knife, stab myself and slit all the big important veins, the ones on my arm the ones on my legs and my neck, just to be certain I'll bleed to death. I should probably go to the bathroom, that way they can wash away the blood, hey maybe I'll take too many aspirin just for good measure. That's it then, I made a plan, I suck at plans, I always panic under pressure, but not this time. I need to die.