Can you guess that I'm bored…and that's why I'm writing so much?? Ha-ha.

I guess I'm just trying to soak up freedom before school starts. (Tuesday. Holy crapola.)

I know that a lot of people have done random short stories such as this one, but I really feel like starting my own series…but this time, I will organize them all. Ten stories per character!

I will start with my personal favorite as of now: JASPER!

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Breezes: Random Spurts from the Vampire Life

By Hazuki Zuko

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JASPER 0.1

"Campfires"

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"Wow, what a wonderful night for a campfire," Carlisle sighed. "Splendid idea, Jasper."

Jasper couldn't help but snigger. Alice beat him only by a millisecond, as did Emmett. Carlisle gave the three of them a deathly look.

"People…you are teasing me again," he reminded her.

"Wot? US? What the devil ahre you TOLKing about?!" Jasper exclaimed, setting the entire family into giggling fits again. His phony English accent sounded hilarious when it was mixed in with his natural Texas drawl.

"Did you bring your guitar?" Edward asked, wanting to draw attention away from Carlisle. Somehow he always got to be the joke.

Esme grinned at Edward. She knew what he was doing.

Jasper nodded, pulling it out from behind his chair. "What're we going to sing first?"

Nobody answered in time, and he grinned maliciously. He began to strum the guitar.

"Kumbayaaaahhh, my Lord…kumbayaaaaaahhhhhh…"

"NOOOO!" the Cullens chorused. If his English impersonation was bad, then his singing of the traditional campfire hymn was even worse with the country twang in his a's.

Jasper grinned again. "Hold on, I've got it now. I was just warming up."

"Oh, great," Rosalie sighed.

"On top of Old SMOKEYYYYYYY, all covered with SNOOOWWWWW…I lost my POOR MEATBALLLLLL…WHEN SOMEBODY SNEEZED!"

"Jasper, that doesn't even rhyme!" Esme interjected.

"Decide which version you want to sing – both together are awful!" Edward chimed in.

"She SAT on the HILLside and strummed HER GUITARRRRR…strummed HER guitar…strummed HER guitar… She SAT on the HILLside and strummed HER guitar. STRUMMMED HERRRRR GUIT-AR-AR-ARRR! Mmm plucka-plucka, mmm plucka-plucka, mmm plucka-plucka PLINK!"

"No…this song goes on forever," Carlisle groaned as Jasper sung the next verse.

"We've got forever," Esme replied, grinning up at him. He tucked her hair behind her ear affectionately.

"They WERE to be MARRIED, but someHOW she died…someHOW she died…someHOW she died..." Jasper continued into verse three.

Edward clenched his fist. "Skip this verse…please…"

"Edward, it's just a song," Alice reminded him. "Trust me – I KNOW things."

Edward nodded, still shaking his head. Alice shook hers back. His pessimistic nature still got to her sometimes. He tried to block out Jasper as he sung the next verse. And the next.

"The TOMBstone fell OVER and SMISHSMASH he died…SMISHSMASH he died..."

"Is this song OVER yet?" Emmett groaned. "I thought this would be a cookout…of you know what I mean."

"I'm afraid it's not. But it could be…a DANCE FLOOR!" Carlisle suddenly exclaimed, grabbing Esme and waltzing with her around the fire. She was laughing.

"Carlisle--! This is so random of you!"

"I know. Isn't it wonderful?" he murmured, kissing her cheek.

Emmett didn't waste a second in grabbing Rosalie and dragging her out, too. She protested, but didn't wrench away. Even as Emmett's hand reached down below the belt of her jeans.

"The MORAL of this STORY is NEVERRR trust guys! NEVERRR trust guys! NEVERRR trust guys!" Jasper continued, emphasizing his accent on "guys", so it sounded like "GYYS".

Alice was laughing so hard she actually knocked her chair backwards and she landed with a thump and a little shriek of surprise.

Jasper immediately dropped his guitar and ran to check on her. "Alice! Are you all right?"

She giggled up at him in that tinkly way of hers that always reminded him of fairy dust. "I'm fine, sir," she joked as she let him help her up. "But it doesn't look like your guitar is."

Jasper looked around as did everyone else when they noticed that no music was in the air except for the cricket chorus.

"…NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jasper howled into the sky, to the thumb-nail shaped moon. "I'll never play again!"

"Maybe I can bring my own musical talents to the campfire," Carlisle grinned, pulling something from his shirt pocket; something small and plastic-looking. "MY KAZOO!"

"OH NO YOU DON'T," Esme demanded. "Give me that thing!"

"Emmett? Do you have your harmonica?" Carlisle asked.

"I'm way ahead of you!" Emmett smirked in return, playing four opening notes.

Alice, Esme, Rosalie, Jasper, and Edward all covered their ears just in time.

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THE END

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YAY! First chapter over with! Please review – ideas are encouraged!!