The night the memory serum was launched…
-(a piece of writing from Allegiant by veronica Roth)-The ride back to the compound is slow and dark. I watch the moon disappear and reappear behind clouds as we bump over the ground. When we reach the outer limits of the city, it begins to snow again, large, light flakes that swirl in front of the headlights. I wonder if Tris is watching it sweep across the pavement and gather in piles by the air planes. I wonder if she is living in a better world then the one I left, among people who no longer remember what it is to have pure genes.
Christina leans forward to whisper something in my ear "so you did it? It worked?"
I nod. In the review mirror I see her touch her face with both hands, grinning in to her palms. I know how she feels: safe. We are all safe.
"Did you inoculate your family?" I say.
"Yep, we found them with the Allegiant, in the Hancock building," she says "But the time for the reset has passed- it looks like Tris and Caleb stopped it"
Hana and Zeke murmur to each other on the way, marveling at the strange, dark world we move through. Amar gives the basic explanation as we go, looking at them instead of the road too often for my comfort. I try to ignore the surges of panic as he almost veers in to street lights or road barriers, and focus instead on the snow.
I have always hated the emptiness that winter brings, the blank landscape and stark difference between sky and the ground, the way it transforms trees in to skeletons and the city in to a wasteland. Maybe this winter can be persuaded otherwise.
We drive passed the fences and stop by the front doors, which are no longer manned by guards. We get out, and Zeke seizes his mother's hand to steady her as she shuffles through the snow. As we walk in to the compound, I know for a fact that Caleb succeeded, because there is no one in sight. That can only mean that they have been reset, their memories forever altered.
"Where is every one?" Amar says.
We walk through the abandoned secretary checkpoint without stopping. On the other side -(the piece of writing from Allegiant by veronica Roth ends here)- is Cara Will and Al, but I only look at Tris and she stares straight back. She sits on the cement floor two crutches laid out beside her, her right leg is casted from the toes to her knee. Her eyes are blood shot and the skin around them is an irritated pink her small nose is the same rosy hew. She looks miserable, She's been crying, and I know exactly why- it doesn't matter how horrible of a brother he was, Caleb was family and now he's dead and I know that she would cry for him.
Out of the corner of my eye I see Christina jump in to Will's arms and even though I'm not looking at her- I know Cara is rolling her eyes at the two of them. Tris's obliterated look worsens like that of a neglected child and she looks away. She wants me to come over to her and doesn't understand why I haven't already. I walk quickly to her side and sit down next to her and gently touch her shoulder. Tris looks over at me and inhales shakily. I don't know if it's just me but her eyes glassy eyes seem to plea with me to hold her. I wrap my arms around her in a gentle but firm embrace, she sinks in to it.
She doesn't cry but I can feel her body constrict painfully against my own as she fights with the tears. I'm very familiar with the feeling, and I can never forgive my father for inducing such a horrible pain on me.
"What happened to your leg?" I ask as I stroke the plush skin of her cheek.
"She fell down four flights of stairs and shattered more than broke her ankle" Cara replies.
"She didn't break her tongue, you know" Will says.
"Shut up, William" Cara snares.
"Make me, Caroline" Will mocks.
We all ignore their bickering.
"She tried to stand on it and insisted that she walk to the infirmary when I found her. She giving me the silent treatment because I carried her there and back down here" Al explains.
"I could've gotten down here with the crutches" Tris says quietly, her voice is flat void emotion.
Al and I share a look, he can tell how much she's hurting.
"She wouldn't let the doctor give her morphine either. she took a mild pain killer and wouldn't take anything else" Al adds.
"Do you enjoy pain?" I ask.
Tris shrugs.
"Are you in pain?" I ask.
Tris nods
"I know that was a stupid question" I say then kiss the top of her head "I love you"
Tris just snuggles further in to my embrace. She usually answers in kind when I tell her how much I care for her now, but she doesn't say anything.
It's not her leg that is causing her pain, its loss, and I can't think of a way to make it go away.
"Tris! Tris!" Someone yells.
She brings her head up slowly. I look to see Zoe running toward us.
"Tris it's your brother-" Zoe starts.
"I know" Tris says coldly.
"No Tris, he's alive" Zoe replies.
"What?" Tris questions.
"He was shot nine times but he's alive" Zoe says.
. . .
We wait two hours for Caleb to get out of surgery. In that time I finally convince Tris to let the doctor give her morphine for her broken ankle. I don't know if it's the effect of the medication or just pure exhaustion that makes sleep take her, but she's curled up on a couch in the waiting room with her head rested on my lap. I run my fingers through her short hair the golden strands are slick and greecey from sweat.
Tris shifts in her sleep and I hold her side so she won't fall to the floor. She lies on her back now but not with waking in the process.
I gently caress her cheek as she opens her eyes revealing the stunning pale blue.
"Morning" she smiles weakly.
"Good night actually, it's 11:30" I say.
Tris smirks a little. I know she's only smiling because she has momentarily forgotten the situation we're in right now or that her brother has been under the knife an hour long than the doctors said. I still savor her happiness.
Just then the doctor who was preforming Caleb's surgery walks out. When Tris sees him I see realization hit her and the joy bleed out of her.
"Is he alright" she asks as she tries to sit up, I help her right herself.
"Caleb is alright, he's going to be in a lot of pain and the next few hours are crucial to his survival. I don't think this will happen but you might want to prepare yourself to say good bye" the doctor explains.
Tears spark in Tris's eyes and I curl my arm around her shoulders and kiss her head.
"can I see him?" Tris asks.
"of course" the doctor nods.
I help Tris limp in to Caleb's hospital room and wait outside.
Ten minutes later the door opens a crack I open it the rest of the way, I've broken my leg before it's hard to open a door on crutches.
Tris limps out and I close the door behind her. She looks up at me with teary eyes. I place my hand on her side. She looks away as the first tear falls then she leans forward in to me. I support all her weight and the crutches drop, the loud echoing crack as they hit the floor almost symbolizing her defeated composures…