Rukia doesn't know what to think when she's confronted by Ichigo, who tells her that he doesn't actually share what she feels for him. "Sorry, Rukia," he says, but she know that he's relieved to finally get it off his chest, that he doesn't have to hide anything from her anymore. He used to tell her his dreams, his ambitions, complain about his parents and the daily events, about his father and the man's antics. But lately, he hasn't been doing so, like as if he's keeping her in the dark about things that she ought to know.
She doesn't have to know how or why or when Ichigo has started going out with her childhood best friend. Actually, she just doesn't want to know. To know will only make the pain worse. She tries to forget that confrontation, the awkward silence that engulfs them, hanging heavy and threatening in the air between them. She can hear the rustle of the leaves overhead, shading her from the glare of the midday sun. Ichigo's hair is more orange in the sunlight, his eyes sparkling like that of the ocean, except they were a darker shade of orange.
Rukia purses her lips and nods, though she just wants to grab Ichigo by the collar and shake him, to wake him up. Why Renji? She keeps asking herself that. Am I not good enough? After that encounter, she finds herself asking those questions, over and over again, repeating it in her head like a mantra. Every day when she wakes up; every night before she goes to sleep. She'll even mutter those words in her dreams.
She hates it whenever Ichigo so much as looks at Renji now. What she sees in his eyes are not only that of friendly affection, but also a rare fondness that she only manages to find in Byakuya's eyes whenever they set their gaze upon her sister. Rukia has no doubts that it's real, what Ichigo and Renji are having, despite frequently being at loggerheads with each other.
She and Ichigo are drifting apart now. Now, it's only a "Hi, Rukia" and a "See you later, Ichigo." There aren't any more wide grins, no loud laughter, nothing save for the occasional, normal greetings. But when Renji's around, Ichigo doesn't have to think twice about letting himself go. Rukia can see that he enjoys being with him rather than with her, and always, always, she falls back behind them, preferring yet unwilling to watch as they walk side by side, pushing each other around and digging elbows into each others' ribs.
The smile on Rukia's lips is that of sorrow.
The pain in her chest is one that she has never experienced before.