Beautiful hearts
The bookman apprentice waited patiently for the night to grow old before emerging from the library. He would hate to run into any body for now. The alias called 'Lavi' loved to smile and laugh at everything. However, Junior hated those. Smiling and laughing seemed hypocritical and he never saw the need to smile or laugh since he denounced his own name. Which led to his current predicament; his face was stiff.
He wandered along the corridors while massaging his stiff cheeks. Having to smile so much in a day was tiring, literally. To him, the Black Order was nothing much of an interest really. It is true that they have had a long history and many interesting things about its past to yield, but the inhabitants on the other hand were another issue altogether.
They lived under the fear of death everyday and he wondered if it had inevitably contributed to this oppressive atmosphere. It was only first day here and he was already bored to death with this place. He hated 'Lavi'. Without a doubt, it would be hardest alias he would have to take on. The bit on acting frivolous and friendly takes the cake. Junior preferred to be impassive. Junior wondered if he would be able to maintain that frivolous and friendly persona. He sighed and ambled along yet another boring corridor.
Then suddenly, he heard it coming to him soft yet clear. The rich notes of a cello were coming together into a piece that was beautiful and somewhat melancholic. The music drew him to one of the rooms on the corridor and curiosity got the better of him as he opened the door as silently as could.
By the window sat the cellist as he played softly with his eyes closed. The lustrous moonlight shone on him as if it were a spotlight. His fingers danced lightly over the neck of the cello as if it were his lover. His long dark hair was unbound and flowed over his shoulders like a waterfall of ink. His face was pleasant to look at and Junior stood there in the shadows entranced by this person till the last note faded.
Junior watched as he gently laid down the cello and sat in the cool moonlight; his face deep in thought. Junior stepped forward and stood facing him. Their eyes met briefly before the cellist turned his face back to the moon.
"What are you? Are you a minstrel from the moon?" Junior asked.
His question however, was met with no answer. Instead, the cellist just stood up and looked at him long and hard before he turned to leave. For a fleeting moment, Junior thought he saw an unexplainable sadness and loneliness in those beautiful dark eyes. When the cellist reached the door, Junior called out to him again.
"Are you going back to the moon now?"
He paused with his delicate hand on the door handle. Then, without saying anything, he left. Junior gazed at his retreating back and for the first time in his life, he felt like smiling. He decided then, that if he should smile, he would smile only for him. Even if it is just for a while, if his smile could take away that person's sadness and loneliness, then it would be worth it.
When dawn broke over the hills the next morning, Junior went back to that room. He could not exactly explain why, but all he knew was that he wanted to see him again. As he came closer to the room, he heard no music. Rather, all he heard was a cacophony of odd notes; some of them were off pitch while the others probably did not exist on the musical scale. After that, nothing was heard except a still silence. Junior peeked into the room and spotted one of the generals sitting opposite the very person he had wanted to see. The general was shaking his head before pointing out that the raven haired beauty was holding the bow and the cello wrongly.
"Yuu-kun, your hand should be here and holding the bow like this…"
His student however was plainly not interested and was in fact getting more and more agitated as the minutes crawled by.
"I told you so many times that I'm not interested in learning this. This is such a waste of time. I'm leaving."
Standing up, he strode across the room and pulled open the door only to come face to face with Junior, who was 'Lavi' for now.
"Get out of my way," was all he said before Lavi got rudely shoved aside. The general followed slowly behind and smiled at Lavi.
"Good morning. Sorry for his behaviour. I hope that you would find it in your heart to forgive him. Yuu-kun can be a little rowdy at times."
Lavi smiled at the kindly general in reply. The general chased after his student while he watched from where he was.
The next time Lavi managed to see him was somewhere in the afternoon. The person which he had come to know as 'Yuu-kun' passed him as he came out of the training room. He walked past Lavi without acknowledging his presence and was about to disappear round the bend when Lavi called him.
"Yuu-kun!"
The other boy stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to look directly at him. At any rate, he did not look very friendly at all.
"You are Yuu-kun right? I don't think I have introduced myself yet. I'm Lavi." the Bookman apprentice tried again.
Then, before he knew it, Lavi got slammed into the wall and could feel the cutting edge of a blade on his neck.
"Don't call me by my first name."
It was strange that even though he was being threatened, all Lavi could notice was how beautiful the other looked. Lavi looked into those dark eyes and was lost in them. The other boy seemed to have noticed the strange look that Lavi was giving him and pressed the blade closer to Lavi's neck.
"Quit staring at me."
Just then, a clipboard swung down and collided pretty hard with the raven haired boy. His eyes widened and he immediately scowled before sheathing his blade. A Chinese girl looked at him disapprovingly while checking if Lavi was fine.
"Kanda-kun, stop being mean to Lavi. He's new here."
"Che. I wasn't being mean," was all he said before he stalked off.
Lavi smiled at the girl. "Thanks for your help Lenalee. Geez, he sure got a temper problem, doesn't he?"
Lenalee smiled back and walked with Lavi to the cafeteria. "He usually ignores someone unless they get on his nerves. Could it be something you did to him?"
Lavi scratched his chin thoughtfully. "All I did was to call him 'Yuu-kun' like General Tiedoll did. Was that such a serious offense?"
Lenalee laughed lightly. "Well, the general is the only one who can call him that I suppose. He doesn't like being called by his first name."
Lavi sighed. "Yuu is such a cute name though…"
Lenalee laughed again. "You better don't call him that again unless you have a death wish."
Lavi shrugged indifferently. "I'll be going to the library to find the old panda. So I'll see you around some other time?"
Lenalee nodded and they parted ways there. Lavi went to the library and picked out yet another thick book of the Black Order's history and flipped to a random page before spacing out. He smiled to himself as his thoughts wandered back to Kanda.
Lavi had finally found something to keep him occupied. He is going to make himself the first person other than the general to call Kanda 'Yuu'.
Their next encounter took place a few weeks later. Lavi was starting to settle into his new life as an Exorcist and found that he quite loved it. However, it would be folly to assume that he would put aside his business as a Bookman apprentice in exchange for being an Exorcist. He used his friendly character to get close to many in the Order to find out more about their past and to observe them better. However, he had been able to gather little information on Kanda. Yet, it was clear that he is a man of mystery and Lavi loved secrets. Hence, after weeks of fruitless prying, Lavi decided to speak to him again. He sought out the room where they had first met and as luck would have it, he found him there.
Kanda was sitting by the window playing the cello. The dulcet tones of the instrument reverberated in the small empty room, washing over him as he stood by the door. The pale moonlight gently caressed him as the music flowed into the wind. The draw of the bow was fluid and precise; there was nothing superfluous in his movements. The melody he played this night was quiet and restful though a tinge of longing could be felt in it. Lavi closed his eyes and listened until the last note evanesced.
Kanda closed his eyes and leaned back in the seat. The moonlight glanced off his elegant face and that image had somehow caused an unexplained stirring in Lavi's heart.
Lavi stepped out of the shadows and smiled at Kanda. He sat in the alcove by the window and looked out at the night sky before turning his attention back to Kanda.
"Beautiful night isn't it?"
Kanda stared at him with his cold eyes but said nothing. Lavi sighed mentally. Kanda was very reticent. Although Lavi had expected him to be reserved, he never thought that Kanda would be this uncommunicative. His eyes wandered to the cello by Kanda's chair.
"Why did you do that the other time?" he asked.
Kanda looked at him sharply. "Did what?"
"Play badly in front of the General when in fact you could play the cello so well."
Kanda closed his eyes and sighed. "You were listening?"
Lavi nodded as Kanda looked out of the window. "I've no need to tell you."
Lavi threw Kanda a sidelong glance. The wind blew through the window lifting Kanda's long hair in its play. He seemed ethereal in the moonlight.
"Let me guess… You did that so you could keep him at a distance from you?"
Kanda said nothing but Lavi guessed that he had hit the nail on the head. Kanda always kept people at a distance. He never talked to anybody unless it was absolutely necessary and kept to himself mostly. Lavi wondered if it had anything to do with his curse.
"You're like Kaguya-hime then. Legend has it that she kept her distance from the people around her because she knew she would be leaving one day."
Kanda scowled at him and curled up on the chair. He seldom tolerated anyone talking to him. Yet, somehow, he felt relatively comfortable with holding a conversation with the bookman apprentice.
"Why do you keep smiling then?"
Lavi looked at him oddly. "Do you need a reason to smile?"
Kanda rested his head on his knees while keeping his eyes on Lavi. The idiotic bookman apprentice's fiery red hair was not held back in the green bandana that he had seen Lavi wearing at times. His single green eye was fixated on a spot on the floor.
"Your smiles are forced and lack any true emotion behind them. The others may not be able to tell but I can."
Lavi grinned sheepishly. "You've got me."
"I'm not supposed to have any real emotions you know. It gets in the way of my work."
Kanda glanced at him and stood up. "Keep it that way. This is a war and it doesn't pay to get too emotionally attached to anybody. You'll only suffer in the end."
With that, he left the room while Lavi stayed behind and pondered the meaning of his words.
A few days later, Komui assigned them a mission together. It was Lavi's first mission and Komui thought it would be prudent to pair him with someone experienced to show him the ropes. It was just a simple mission; go to a town in the west of Italy and eliminate the akuma there.
Lavi had by now learnt how to control his innocence better now, though he was nowhere good or useful in a battle yet. He was just told to watch Kanda do his job and try to have a feel of a real fight. Kanda scoffed and as he passed Lavi, he threw him a condescending look that said what was on his mind.
"Don't expect me to keep your sorry ass alive."
The train ride to the town was uneventful and Lavi had read the mission folder from cover to cover while Kanda just threw his on the empty seat next to him, not even bothering to open it once. Lavi pretended to read the mission folder for the fiftieth time now and looked over it at the other exorcist in their carriage.
Kanda was sleeping in his seat. His hands were folded across his chest with Mugen clutched tightly in his left hand. A light frown was on his brows even as he slept. Perhaps it was the light in the train carriage, but that day, Lavi noticed for the first time how smooth his skin was and how it had a light peach coloured glow. This man sitting in front of him was truly a real beauty. Lavi had seen many women who tried to make themselves pretty by sloshing on the cosmetics only to end up falling short of Kanda by a mile. Lavi smiled and shook his head. Some of them don't even come close.
Kanda shifted in his seat and rested his head on the side of the carriage and Lavi continued to observe him. He was so lost in the other's beauty that he did not notice that Kanda had woken up and was looking at him.
"Quit staring at me."
Lavi got shaken out of his reverie by those four words. Kanda had said those exact words to him not too long ago, and yet, the tone he used today was different. It sounded a little more neutral, it was not as hostile as before, but it wasn't friendly either. He smiled at Kanda sweetly.
"I wasn't staring at you...I was just looking at you."
Kanda looked at Lavi and scowled. He hated wordplays or people who got too creative with them. He is the type of person who would call a spade a spade and not bother to play with words or beat around the bush. Short and straight to the point was his way of speaking and it suited his purpose of keeping people away well.
"Shove off. We're here. Keep close and stay alive. Don't get into my way."
Lavi blinked at that string of short orders and laughed as he followed Kanda out of the train.
"You are starting to grow on me," said Lavi simply.
"I hate you," was all the reply he ever got.
The dust from the battle at the town square mingled with the poisonous fumes left by the exploding Akumas into a thick and chocking miasma. Lavi moved silently to the side of the town square and watched the battle from the sidelines. He had so far managed to do as ordered by Kanda; he had kept close and stayed alive till now and not to mention, he had also succeeded in staying out of Kanda's way.
The wall of the warehouse that he pressed himself to provided him with limited cover but he decided that this would have to do for now. As long as the wall manages to keep itself propped up, Lavi figured that he would be fine. From where he was, Lavi had a clear view of the battle between human and machines. If Lavi had to guess, he would have estimated that Kanda had already cleaved twenty or so of those monsters but yet many more kept coming to join in the battle.
Lavi noticed how Kanda fought them with ease that came only with experience. He moved very lightly and seemed tireless. Not even a drop of sweat was to be seen on his face as he worked through the Akumas one by one. His dark hair whipped behind him as he dealt a fatal blow to yet another Akuma. If Lavi were to describe Kanda's fighting style, he would have said that it resembled a dance. He moved gracefully with an unlearned elegance; the strikes that he dealt were deadly and precise. Lavi watched on in awe, captivated by Kanda's waltz with the machines. The number of Akumas slowly dwindled till no more came. The smallest smirk of satisfaction could be seen on Kanda's face as he strode over to Lavi. He gave Lavi a once over as he approached.
"Still alive?" he asked.
Lavi grinned and nodded. "You bet."
"Good. Let's go," he said and turned to leave. Lavi walked next to him with his idiotic grin on his face again.
The dust of the street swirled around his ankles in the wake of the flutter of his long exorcist coat. Lavi noticed this small detail and other insignificant details of Kanda as he purposely slowed his pace so as to better observe him from the back. Kanda continued walking ahead until the distance between them started to become obvious. He paused, turned and looked at the redhead.
"Can't you keep up? We've got a train to catch."
Lavi looked up and him and raised his hands up defensively. "No need to get so angry young man, I'm coming!"
A year had passed and Lavi got to know Kanda better as they got paired for missions very frequently. He started to make small observations about that raven-haired beauty. He knows for a fact that Kanda does not like noisy and crowded places; much preferring quiet and order always. He sees the small changes in his otherwise stony expression; a more relaxed and softer expression would grace his face when they were in a quiet country side and the deep furrowing of brows would appear in a bustling city centre.
Lavi also had come to learn that Kanda's bark is usually much louder than his bite. For all that he had said on their first mission, Kanda always watched out for him during the battles and kept his sorry ass safe; sometimes at the risk of his own life. Many people said that Kanda was a hopelessly cold and heartless bastard but Lavi knew better. He was just a very misunderstood person but he has got his heart in the right place. Lavi soon got what he wanted and managed to call Kanda by his first name and slowly, they became the best buddies and perhaps somewhere along the lines it became something more.
Without meaning to, Lavi started to change. Junior took the backseat as Lavi developed his character more. He became fast friends with a finder named Doug. When they first met, Doug said this of him: "Your eye is like glass. It reflects me, but that's all. Nothing reaches inside." However, now Lavi was starting to grow more real. His emotions were starting to come out slowly, raw and vibrant; touching the people around him.
That friendship however did not last long. After all, they were in a war where the Earl was pulling on the twisted strings of fate.
In a cruel twist of fate, Doug had become an akuma and Lavi had no choice but to be the one who killed him. That was the first time Lavi cried and many months on it still haunted him much.
It was one of the many nights that Lavi felt like he was being eaten up by his emotions. Guilt, sadness, regret; they all came crashing down on him at the same time. For the first time, he encountered doubt. He started doubting his ability to stay objective, he doubted himself, and he doubted his purpose here.
Lavi wandered along the corridors in the dark and stopped in front of the room where Kanda always played the cello. He pushed open the doors, only to find the room empty. He went in all the same and closed the door behind him. He sat on one of the chairs by the window and stared forlornly at the moon outside.
He had developed a habit of running to Kanda whenever he was feeling down, or when he needed somebody to pour his heart out to. He trusted Kanda and no other. Maybe because Kanda knew him for who he was, or it could have been the way he always listened. However, what Lavi knew is that he had come to trust his heart to that man.
The quiet night aged slowly as he sat by the window, his fiery red hair falling messily about his face; his green eye dull and lifeless. Just then, the door opened quietly behind him as who else but Kanda came in.
He spotted the miserable bookman apprentice slouching by the window; his face forced into a heart rending smile when he saw Kanda. Kanda stared at him with his steely gray eyes as he guessed what was going on with the rabbit. He had heard about him having to kill the finder turned akuma and guessed as much.
Without saying a word, he crossed the empty space between them and stood next to the despondent rabbit. Softly and very gently, he pulled the other youth over and held him closely to his chest in a hug. Lavi felt Kanda's hand slowly running through his wild red strands in a comforting motion as his other arm rested round his shoulders. The bookman apprentice brought his arms up and circled Kanda's slender waist.
"You stupid rabbit…that's why I told you not to get too attached with anyone here didn't I?" he chided lightly.
Lavi just pressed himself closer to Kanda and took in his comforting smell. "I tried Yuu…I tried. But I couldn't do it…," Lavi mumbled.
Kanda sighed and rested his hand on Lavi's head. "Baka usagi…. Just cry it out if it makes you feel better. Just for tonight, be honest with yourself and then you move on," he said softly.
Lavi buried his nose into Kanda's chest and closed his eye, feeling the warm tears coming out. "Yuu…stay with me. Just for tonight. Don't go," he whispered.
Kanda said nothing but held the silly rabbit there as he cried his heart out that night not unlike a broken hearted child.
They were both supposed to be heartless people in their own rights, but they knew better. Their true hearts were pure and beautiful; but it wasn't supposed to be seen by all. It was just a special privilege for each other to appreciate and understand.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the idea :)