(A/N) So! I've really been into Psych lately and I thought I would do my part and contribute! Although I still have another story to finish...i couldn't get this out of my head long enough to focus on my other story... I originally was going to do a one-shot...but quickly found out that I SUCK at it because I kept getting more and more ideas for this story! I do want to put more into it...but I know if I do, it will become a fricken novel! lol
Well enjoy! My first Psych fanfic! YAY!
**Spoiler Warning for Mr. Yin Presents**
Pairings: Lassiter and O'Hara
Disclaimer: Of course I don't own it...that's why this is a FAN! fic. PLEASE R&R! :)
It had been only a few hours since Carlton and Gus pulled Juliet off the ledge of the clock tower. She was still shaken by the fact that her life was literally hanging by a thread.
After Juliet gave her statement in the comfort of the Chief's office, she was released for a few days to relax and recover from her horrific incident.
On her way out of the Chief's office, she spotted Carlton sitting at this desk, rummaging through files of the case that they had nearly closed.
He was busy trying to find anymore leads to finding Mr. Yin, since Shawn let him go at the docks.
Juliet made her way to Carlton, hoping that she could have a talk with him before he went out again to find Mr. Yin.
As she reached Carlton's desk, she lightly placed her hand on his shoulder.
When she did, he nearly jumped out of his chair.
He quickly looked around to see who it was.
When he spotted Juliet standing behind him, he gave out a sigh of relief.
Carlton stood up saying, "Geez. Don't scar me like that…you nearly gave me a heart attack…again!"
Juliet looked at her partner and gave a small giggle.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just came over here to tell you how thankful I am for you saving me…and to apologize for crying like a baby earlier this evening."
Carlton was shocked by what she said. Although he usually never showed any emotion towards situations, he was still human and felt troubled by the fact that Juliet was still trying to be strong when she didn't have to be.
He knew her well enough to know that she was still trying to cope with what had happened.
Carlton gently grabbed her arms and looked straight into her eyes.
"Juliet, you don't have to be sorry for what happened. You and I both know that it wasn't your fault and you don't need to apologize for crying…if anything, I should be the one to apologize for not getting to you sooner."
Juliet was caught off-guard when Carlton spoke to her, using her first name, instead of O'Hara, which he always calls her by.
She wanted to argue with him, but found it to be too exhausting.
The only response she gave was a few nods of her head.
Once he let go of her arms, she asked him if he wouldn't mind taking her home.
Carlton of course didn't mind. At this point, he was glad to have an excuse for leaving the office. All he wanted to do was to make sure Juliet got home safely.
The ride to Juliet's house was almost too quiet for Carlton.
He had grown so used to Juliet talk his ears off, that he found it a bit uncomfortable not knowing what she was thinking.
He had never been good at starting conversations, even with his partner. The only thing he felt he was good at was listening and drowning out noise.
Carlton looked over at his partner, and saw that she was aimlessly gazing out the window of the cruiser.
He felt as though he should say something, but wasn't sure what to say. If it were Juliet on the other hand, she would know exactly what to say.
"You think you're gonna be okay tonight?"
That was the only thing he could think of, and he mentally kicked himself after he said it because he obviously knew that she wouldn't.
Not even looking back at her partner, she replied back in an uncertain tone, "I…I think so. You have done so much already Carlton; I wouldn't want to burden you anymore as it is."
He pulled up to Juliet's house and when Carlton turned off the cruiser, he turned to face her.
"Please, O'Hara, you can't ever burden me…unless it's ordering me around about going through files…"
Juliet smiled by his comment, remembering when she was able to order him around because he had broken his collarbone. So he wasn't able to do much besides office work.
Seeing that he made her smile only caused him to smile back.
She looked at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes.
Carlton, on the other hand saw that she was still struggling to stay strong so that she wouldn't show any weakness.
Without giving it another thought, Carlton asked, "Would you like me to stay for a while?"
"I would like that," Juliet said relieved to know that she wasn't going to be alone.
After what had happened earlier, Juliet was honestly dreading going back to her house by herself. She found it almost impossible to reassure herself that nothing like that would happen again.
"C'mon, let's get you inside," Carlton said as he opened his door.
Juliet opened her door and followed him to her house.
After both of them were inside, Juliet turned around to face Carlton.
"Thanks for staying with me. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you've don't all this for me…and I'm sorr-"
She was cut off by Carlton putting his hand over her mouth.
He sternly looked at her, "No more apologizes, Juliet. That's an order."
She couldn't win this one, so she put both of her hands up to show Carlton that she surrendered and he took his hand off her mouth.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" Juliet asked out of curiosity.
"What do you mean?" Carlton asked clearly confused.
"Well you just called me Juliet just now and back at the station…and…you never do that."
Carlton looked around, as if he was planning on escaping.
"I…I don't know what you're talking about."
"You called me by my first name…I just want to know why," Juliet said again and took a step closer to him.
"Am I not allowed to call my partner by her first name? Carlton said defensively.
"Okay…just wondering…don't have to get all defensive," She said putting her hands back up.
She knew he was hiding something, but figured it wasn't worth pursuing.
Carlton rolled his eyes and then went over to set his coat on the chair in the kitchen.
Looking back over at his partner, he mentally slapped himself again because he knew that he shouldn't have been so harsh knowing what she had gone through that day.
"Jul-O'Hara. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I should be more sensitive to you…" He said as gently as he could manage.
"Carlton, please, you don't have to put on an act for me. I get it." Juliet said a little hurt.
Carlton wasn't sure what to do at the point. He obviously was apologizing for snapping at her, and he didn't understand how she was even more upset.
He scratched the back of his head and awkwardly walked over to Juliet who was in the kitchen looking for something to eat.
"Okay! You wanna know why I called you by your first name today…?" Carlton said softly.
Juliet was regretting asking Carlton over until she was distracted by the tone is his voice.
She closed the fridge and looked attentively at him.
He hesitated for a second before he began to explain.
"The reason why I called you by your fist name today was…because, well, I wanted to let you know that I c-care about you. A-and I thought that with this situation and all…that I could be more on a…personal level with you, rather than a, partnership level…"
Carlton's voice quickened.
"Not that I don't like our partnership! I do! And I'm really glad you're my partner! But…I just wanted to let you know that I am here for you whenever you need me…and I will do anything for you…because you're my partner of course. An-"
Carlton was suddenly stopped when Juliet's hand covered his mouth.
He was surprised by this and almost jumped when he felt her hands on him.
She looked at him for a few seconds and gave a little smile.
"No more apologizes, Carlton. I get it…and thank you. It means a lot to me."
She released her hand from his mouth.
All Carlton could think of doing was nod his head in response.
Suddenly Carlton had an idea.
"Hey…O'Har-I mean, Juliet…do you wanna go change into something more comfortable, while I order us a pizza? Or would you rather not?...I could just go if you want to be alone…or something."
Juliet couldn't help but smile at his attempt to be kind.
Sure the man could be awkward when he tried too hard, but she found it rather sweet that he was trying hard to be there for her.
She knew that is wasn't hard for him to be there for her on a work basis, but when it actually came to ones feelings and casual talk, he struggled with it.
But after being with him on the field for four years, she knew that he was trying his best to be there for her on all occasions.
"Pizza sounds wonderful. Thanks Carlton."
Then Juliet went up the stairs to change.
Without hesitation, Carlton called up the pizza company and ordered a large supreme.
After a few minutes, Juliet returned in her pajamas. A purple and white plaid sweats and a black t-shirt.
She had kept her hair in a ponytail and had cleaned herself up.
Juliet found Carlton on her couch flipping through the channels.
Walking over, she noticed that he had taken off his gun holster, shoes and tie. He had also unbuttoned his shirt a couple buttons and rolled up his sleeves.
"What kind of pizza did you get us?" Juliet asked as she sat down on the couch next to him.
When she said the word "us" it made Carlton a little nervous. He tried to hide it by shifting on the couch a bit.
"Uh, I got us a supreme. Didn't know what you wanted, so I got everything. But if you don't like it I can order another one…"
"No, you don't need to do that. You got my favorite kind," Juliet said with a warm smile.
Carlton almost forgot why he was even at Juliet's house in the first place because when she sat down next to him, he saw that she was sitting closer to him than she was ever sat before. Also, when she smiled at him, he couldn't help but notice how blue her eyes where. He swore that they were never that blue before.
He quickly closed his eyes and shook his head to clear his thoughts. Not so much that Juliet would notice, but enough to shake him back to reality.
"S-so, how are you feeling right now?" Carlton asked cautiously.
Juliet pondered that question for a moment and answered, "Better…now that you're here with me. Helping me through this is making me feel better and safer every minute. But I'm still pretty shaken up by today. I honestly don't know how long it will be for me to completely recover.
Juliet had stopped looking at him and started at her hands in her lap.
Carlton was shocked about was she just said. Although he would hate to admit it out loud, he was glad he decided to stay with her.
He remembered when he was on the roof and saw Juliet yelling at the paramedic. It broke his heart that she was trying to remain strong. He figured it was because she was there and he had taught her to never let emotions take over in any situation.
But even he had broken his very own rule that day.
When the Chief told him that he was not to go after O'Hara, he threw out all logic and went all on emotion. He didn't care if his job was on the line, or if he was being rational about his decision. All he cared about was Juliet.
But once he saw that she was trying to hide her emotions when he ran up to her, he couldn't let her hold back anymore, just like how he couldn't hold back.
Once he told her, "You don't have to be fine," she let it all out.
She clung to him with all her might and buried her face in his jacket. He too, wrapped his arms protectively around her and did his best to comfort her.
Even on the way to the office, he wouldn't let anybody near her. Not even Spencer got near her from the way he was protecting her.
"I'm glad I here too," Carlton replied smiling at her.
Just then the doorbell rang.
Carlton answered the door and brought the pizza over to where they were sitting. Placing it on the table, he went to the kitchen and poured a couple glasses of wine.
"What is this for?" Juliet asked when he handed the wine to her.
"This is for everything we've been through together…for today…and for the years to come for us…but mostly, so that we can relax right now."
Juliet smiled and clinked her glass to Carlton's as he was bringing it to his lips.
"To us then...and…to you, Carlton. You are without a doubt, the bravest man I know."
Instead of sipping his wine, he turned to Juliet.
"Really? You think I'm brave?" Carlton asked surprised, but proud.
Juliet's eyes met his as she looked at him through her glass as she was taking a sip.
She brought the glass down and replied, "I do. I don't know anyone who is braver than you are. I know you compare yourself to Spencer a lot-"
She was cut off by Carlton when he heard what she was saying.
"No I don't! I hate Spencer! Why would I compare myself to him?"
She looked at him and spoke, "Yes you do, and I can see it in your eyes Carlton…but you shouldn't. I know Spencer solves…most of our cases, but you have something that he doesn't have. You are the strongest and bravest person I know."
Carlton pondered her compliment for a few seconds.
He looked at his glass and then back at her.
"Well I may be the bravest…but I'm not the strongest."
"What do you mean?" Juliet asked clearly confused.
"I'm not the strongest…you are Juliet."
Hearing what Carlton said took her back a bit. She definitely wasn't expecting that.
"Wha-what do you mean by me being the strongest?"
Carlton adjusted himself so that he was directly facing her on the couch.
"You've been with me for four years now…that's the longest I've ever had a partner. I don't how you do it, but you can do anything you set your mind to. You've been able to keep it together under pretty shitty situations, and can bounce back from anything quicker than I can…in a lifetime. Not only that, but you proved it even more after today. I admire you for that."
Juliet wasn't sure what to say at this point. Carlton had never given her a compliment like that before. Ever since she started working for him, all she has ever wanted to do was to prove to him that she could manage everything that he had set her to do. She had looked up to him and wanted to impress him by taking it like "one of the guys" so that he would approve of her. Juliet never once thought that she had been admired…by him of all people!
"But-but…how? How am I strong? I completely fell apart today…I let my emotions control me…" Juliet asked still taken back.
"Because…THAT is how you are strong. I know I told you to not let you emotions gain control…but I would be concerned if you didn't show any emotions after what had happened. Look…there's a right time and wrong time to let your emotions show…and…to be honest, I think that letting your emotions go only made you a stronger person today," Carlton told her honestly.
Hearing this threw Juliet completely off.
She was thinking of everything at once that happened from years ago to Carlton's compliment.
Ever since she was a little girl, she had tried to gain approval from her father. Her father wasn't there for her because he had only paid attention to her brothers. Since Juliet was not a boy, he had never seen her as anything except a nuisance.
She had tried everything to please him and make him proud of her, but nothing seemed to work.
Even through high school, she had tried everything to please him.
From getting straight A's to joining every club or sport there was, she could not get him to love or admire her for her hard work.
That is one reason she decided to be a cop.
When she was assigned to be with Carlton, she had heard that he was the worst detective to be with since he had such high standards and never had a "good side".
Juliet was determined to prove her worth to him because she thought that if she could get him to approve of her, then she could do anything. Even, possibly getting approval from her father.
But now that she found out that Carlton had always been amazed by her and even admired by her, she couldn't believe it. She thought that for a split second that she had only imagined it.
Not only that; but he even said that he thought she was even stronger today by letting her emotions out.
As Juliet was trying to take everything in at once, she began to feel tears well up in her eyes.
She tried her best to blink them away, but couldn't hold them back.
Carlton saw that she was struggling with something more than just what had happened that day and was trying to hold it back.
He then set his glass on the table and took hers from her hand and set it beside his.
"Hey…do you remember what I said today?" Carlton asked looking at her.
"Huh?" Was all that Juliet could say because she wasn't sure where he was going with it, and was concentrating on trying not to cry again.
"I told you, that, 'you don't have to be fine'," Carlton whispered softly.
Once he said that, she let go and tears began to run down her cheeks.
That's when Carlton decided to move closer to Juliet so that he could let her cry on his shoulder for the second time.
Juliet didn't hesitate to lean into him. She knew that she could trust him with anything, and knew that he wouldn't do anything to harm her.
Carlton's back was leaned up against the arm and back of the chair, and Juliet had buried her head into the crook of his neck.
Wrapping his left arm around her back, he gently rubbed his fingers in circles on her back.
With Juliet on his shoulder, he placed his chin on her head.
Carlton knew that he should just let her finish releasing all of the baggage that she had let pile up over the years, but he had to admit that it was scary to see her in this state.
He was so used to her being up-beat and perky, that he wasn't sure what to do with her not being her normal self.
Even he admitted to himself that he wasn't good with dealing with emotions, but he promised himself that he would try his best because if he knew anyone, he knew his partner the best and he was pretty sure he could help her through anything.
After about 30 minutes or so of letting Juliet let go of her emotions, she finally had calmed down.
Juliet hadn't cried that much is her whole lifetime and she was exhausted.
She shyly looked at Carlton after whipping away the last of her tears.
When she looked at him, Carlton couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She looked so pathetic, with her running nose, puffy red eyes and messy makeup.
"You feel better?" Carlton asked again.
Juliet didn't have enough energy to answer, so she subtly nodded her head.
He looked at her again and removed his arm from her back and sat up.
Carlton had almost forgotten that they had ordered pizza until he spotted it once he was free.
"You hungry?" He asked indicating the pizza box sitting on the coffee table in front of them.
Juliet was so tired that she forgot how hungry she was.
The last time she ate was when they left the office to find Mr. Yin.
Carlton reheated the pizza and returned to his spot on the couch.
"How does a movie sound?" Carlton asked as he was flipping through the paper view channels.
"Sounds good, although I don't know if I can stay awake through the whole thing," Juliet answered weakly.
"It's okay, when you fall asleep I can take you to your room," Carlton offered.
"Okay," Juliet replied as she began to eat for the first time since early that morning.
They had begun to watch Inception while they ate the pizza.
About half way thought the movie; Juliet had fallen asleep and had leaned on Carlton's shoulder again.
Carlton would have moved her, but he had fallen asleep before her because of the hectic day that they had.
The movie had been over for about an hour or so when Carlton's phone went off.
He jolted awake, and saw Juliet sleeping on his chest.
His attention was cut off from her to his phone, when he heard his phone ring again.
"Hello?" he answered tiredly, "What?...really? Thanks Chief…I'll…I'll let her know right away…okay, you too…goodbye."
He hung up his phone and whispered to Juliet.
"Juliet. Wake up."
He tried that a couple of times and then gave up.
He decided to gently shake her awake.
Still more than half asleep, Juliet woke up and looked at Carlton.
"What is it?...What time is it?"
"Juliet, I just got a call from the Chief…they have a lead," Carlton said quietly.
"What?...Really? Where?...How?..." Juliet said still not quite sure if she heard was the truth since she was still more than half asleep.
"I'll tell you later, but first I need to take you to bed," Carlton said getting up.
He scooted off the couch and picked her up, bridal style, and walked up the stairs to her bedroom.
Setting her gently on the bed he quietly turned around.
Before he was able to take a step towards the door, he was stopped by Juliet grabbing his arm.
"Where are you going?" She asked weakly and with a hint of disappointment.
"I'm going to the office to see if I can help with any leads."
If there was one thing Carlton was dedicated to, it was his job. He wouldn't let anything stand in the way of it. Not even sleep had a hold on him.
"Can you stay just for a while longer?" Juliet asked almost begging him.
She still was afraid of being alone, and didn't want Carlton to leave her.
Although she knew that he would probably end up leaving anyways to find Mr. Yin, she wanted to try to see if she could have him stay.
Carlton weighed his options carefully, looking at Juliet and then at the door.
Finally giving in, he gave a sigh of defeat.
"Fine…but just a little longer."
Juliet gave a tired smile and scooted over so that he could sit on the bed.
As she crawled under the covers she saw Carlton turn off the lights and turn on the nightstand.
He sat of the bed with his back to the headrest and awkwardly crossed his legs and arms.
Carlton wasn't sure that this was appropriate on a professional level, especially with his partner, but he told himself mentally that he would be there for her no matter what, and he was going to stick with what he had promised.
Feeling safe and comfortable, Juliet smiled and went back to sleep.
Carlton on the other hand was now wide awake. He didn't know what he was supposed to do.
So he just sat there by Juliet and watched her sleep.
He could hear everything in the room. From every creak in the house to every breath Juliet took.
He had looked around the room so many times that he had memorized everything in it.
As Juliet slept, he noticed her turn over.
He watched as she turned in her sleep to face his direction.
It was then he took notice of every feature.
Carlton watched as she took each breath and how she flared her nose enough to take in each breath.
He found it hard not to look away because he seemed to be in a trace as he watched her sleep.
He couldn't pin point exactly what caused him to become mesmerized by her, so he continued to observe her sleeping figure.
After a while, Carlton had struggled to stay awake.
He found himself dozing on and off during the night.
When he finally decided to look at his watch, he was shocked that the clock only read 2:00 a.m.
He had been there since 5:00 p.m., and only expected to stay there for a couple of hours.
But now it was too late to go home. He was too tired to drive, and he would be useless at the office in his state.
Without even thinking, and being half asleep as he was, Carlton took of his belt, socks and shirt.
Turning off the nightstand, he slipped into bed and immediately fell asleep.