Battle of Wits with an Unarmed Person

Written by: Kawaii-babi

Edited by: Blakeabella

Disclaimer: Don't own House. If I did, I'd be filthy stinking rich! Blake is a friend of mine who is actually a lot like House!

A young man walked into House's office with a huge grin on his face. House looked up from the papers he was just reading and his eyes went wide.

"You!" House yelled, jumping up from his seat. The young man laughed his fucking ass off.

"Yes! It is I! Blake! MUAHAHA…" Blake announced, and then he started coughing uncontrollably. House grabbed his cane and whacked him on the head. Blake immediately stopped coughing.

"Thanks House!" Blake said. Suddenly, Cameron walked into the room.

"House, there's a kid here that has severe internal bleeding…" Cameron began. House reached into his desk and passed her something small in pretty wrapper.

"Give the kid a lozenge." House said like it was the most obvious thing on earth. Before Cameron could object, Blake gave her ass a squeeze, which resulted in Cameron giving him a serious black eye. Blake rubbed his eye and smiled.

"So worth it." He said with a dreamy expression on his face. Suddenly, House picked Blake up by the collar of his shit and pressed him up against a wall. He leaned in close. So close that their noses were almost touching. Before House could say anything, Chase barged into the room.

"House! There's a patient who just had an epileptic…. Am I interrupting something?" Chase asked confusedly. House quickly pulled away from Blake and began whistling.

"House? There's a patient who just had an epileptic fit!" Chase yelled. House put his hand down his pants and…

"Give them a lozenge." House said, throwing the lozenge to Chase. Chase looked down at the lozenge and shrugged, and then he turned on his heel to go see the patient. There was an awkward silence between Blake and House, and then House cleared his throat.

"So, why is it that you decided to spoil my day and come into my life again?" House asked. Blake pondered for a second and then he grinned.

"I have come for a re-match of the battle of wits!" Blake announced. House groaned and he plopped down into his chair.

"Blake, this is the 68th time…" House began.

"69th" Blake corrected. House glared at him.

"Okay, 69th time, that you've come for a re-match. You're never going to win…" House stated.

"But this time, I'm well prepared. I've read every dictionary at least 12 times." Blake announced proudly. House sighed.

"Fine… but… you start this time." House said. Blake looked at him and sighed.

"Fine… Blank" Blake said.

"Paper" House said (okay, normal is house, bold is Blake)

"Trees."

"Environment"

"Environmentalist"

"Peta"

"Peter"

"griffin."

"eagle."

"Bald"

"shaving"

"Cream"

"cool whip."

"White"

"Blank" Blake said, but instantly regretted it. House grinned and got up on the desk and started doing a little victory dance.

"WOOHOO!" House yelled. He then got off the table and patted Blake on the shoulder.

"It's like having a battle of wits with an unarmed person." House said proudly. Suddenly, Foreman walked into the office.

"House… the patient died on us." Foreman said. House dug into his pocket and pulled out a lozenge and passed it to Foreman.

"Give her a lozenge." House said, and then he resumed his victory dance.

How did you like it? Good, bad or mediocre? Oh! J-A-N-E-T I love you so! OMG! Randomness! Please review!
Xox
Kawaii-babi