Sly Dare Show!
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just Sarafina, anything with fuzzles in it, Miss Author, her weapons, and Raquel.
(A tall, pale blonde girl with green eyes cartwheels in, wearing light-wash bootcut jeans, black ankle boots, a black satin top, and gold-rimmed glasses. She lands on her feet, then sits in a chair with a big grin.)
Miss Author: Hello, and welcome to the show! I`m Miss Author, but you can call me Ms. A.
(Sly walks in, holding hands with a tall, pale teenage girl with twin katanas strapped to her back and dressed in all black, with bleached blonde hair and bright gold cat eyes, cat claws painted silver, black cat ears, and black tail. Both are smiling and laughing. All the people from Sly 2 except Arpeggio, including Clockwerk, and Penelope file in behind them.)
Ms. A: Ah, our guests are here! I`m sure the viewers know all our friends here, except for Sly`s...lady friend. Everyone, give it up for Miss Sarafina Jensen!
(Applause)
Sarafina: (with slight Jersey accent) Thanks. I`m glad to be here! (Giggles as Sly puts an arm around her waist)
Ms. A: Okay...Well, this is the first chapter, so there are no dares yet...Guess I`ll make some up!
(Cast groans)
Ms. A: C`mon, it`ll be fun! Okay, question for Sarafina before we start.
Sarafina: Call me Sara.
Ms. A: What are you?
Sara: I am a human, with the ears, eyes, claws, teeth and tail of a cat. You should know; YOU created me.
Ms. A: I forget, okay? Okay...I dare Clockwerk to wear a unicorn costume until I say he can stop. XD
Clockwerk: AND WHY WOULD I LISTEN TO YOU, PUNY MORTAL?
Ms. A: BECAUSE I HAVE THE FLAMING TASER-SAW OF DOOM ON MY SIDE! (Whips out a flaming chainsaw with blue electricity arcing around it)
Clockwerk: FINE, I SHALL DO AS YOU COMMAND. (Poofs into costume)
Ms. A: VICTORY! -^.^- (Kirby emote of victory! Mine, too.) BY THE WAY, WHY ARE WE YELLING?
Clockwerk: I...HAVE NO IDEA.
Ms. A: Oooookaaaay, moving on...Ooh, my friend wants the Clock-a-corn to hang around a fair and let kids ride you. And NO traumatizing them.
Clockwerk: FINE. (vanishes)
Sly: (stops kissing Sara and stares at Ms. A) How the heck did you DO that?
Ms. A: Magic of fanfic!
(Sly is kissing Sara once more and didn`t hear.)
Ms. A: (facepalm) Why ask just to ignore it and try to swallow your girlfriend?
(All shrug)
Ms. A: Well, on with the show! Wait...(bell goes off) Time for a special guest! (pulls rock with cute little face drawn on.) Meet my pet rock, Raquel!
Carmelita: A rock. The guest...is a rock. ARE YOU CRAZY?
Ms. A: Yes. But it`s not nice to say so. (Gets yellow flyswatter and smacks the fox in the mouth.)
Carmelita: OWWW! What the-
Ms. A: Eh-eh! Or you get the Swatter of Consequence! (Brandishes swatter and Carmelita shuts up.) Now...huh? (Holds Raquel up to her ear.) Mm-hmm...kay kay. Raquel wants Penelope and Bentley to get married...
Audience: Awww...
Ms. A: ...in a volcano.
Bentley & Penelope: O.O WHAT?
Penelope: We`ll be dead!
Ms. A: I can bring you back. C`mon, it`s wedding time.
(one firey marriage later...)
(All come back covered in soot)
Ms. A: (coughs) See? That wasn`t so bad...Now, Contessa and Rajan. Raquel wants you two to...(Holds Raquel to ear)...play house? XD Okay. Contessa is mother, Rajan father,...(Raquel 'whispers') Neyla daughter...huh? Oh, three-year-old daughter, Jean-Bison grandfather, Dimitri dog...That it? Okay. House time!
(The house group moves to another room.)
Ms. A: Okie dokie...Murray hasn`t had a dare, so my friend says he has to blow up the van, rebuild it, and blow it up again.
Murray: ...Your friend hates me, doesn`t she?
Ms. A: Actually, you`re HIS favorite. He just wants to see your reaction. NOW GO! -^.^- THE KIRBY EMOTE COMMANDS YOU!
Murray: )`: But-but-but...
(Ms. A brings out the Flaming Taser-Saw of Doom. Murray runs outside, sobbing as he destroys the van. She turns to Carmelita and Sara.)
Ms. A: Sara, you and Carmelita have to have a catfight over Sly.
(Sly grins. The two women stare with open mouths, but agree as the Flaming Taser-Saw of Doom is pointed at them. Sara steals Carmelita`s shock gun without her noticing.)
Carmelita: You stay AWAY from Sly!
Sara: Me? He picked ME, ya overgrown squirrel. YOU stay away.
Carmelita: I`M A FOX!
Sara: I know! Unlike you, I have a BRAIN!
Carmelita: That`s it! You`re going down, chica!
(The girls start screaming, scratching, pulling hair, all that jazz. Carmelita reaches for her gun and finds it missing. The ninja grins as she whips it out and starts shooting at her. Ten minutes later, there are two beat-up women, but there is a victor. Ms. A holds up Sara`s hand.)
Ms. A: WINNER, SARAFINA!
(Sara smiles and walks back over to Sly.)
Sly: I feel special. X3
Ms. A: Everyone had a dare?
Bentley: (Fake coughs) Not Sly.
(The raccoon glares viciously at him.)
Ms. A: Sorry, Sly. You`re my favorite guy, but everyone needs a dare before the first chapter can end. Um...hmm. Oh! You have to pretend to be Edward from Twilight.
Sly: Ugh. Can`t you just have me-
Ms. A: No.
(Sly leaves the room. When he comes back, he is covered in glitter, wearing an Edward wig, and dressed like him. Sara has a hand over her mouth, trying not to giggle.)
Sly: I feel like an idiot.
Ms. A: You look like one. And you also have to answer to Edward. XD I be so evil. But still epic! (Sticks out tounge and flashes peace sign, anime-style.)
(He groans, but accepts.)
Ms. A: Kay kay! Read and review! This was fun, but y`all need to give us some dares! Miss Author out. Peace!
(Leaves and locks the others in. They all look at each other.)
Penelope: Let`s get some food.
Murray: How?
(Penelope holds up Ms. A`s credit card. Everyone cheers.)