[This is an RP done between lilpinkbunny2 (on deviantart) and myself. She portrays Larxene; I portray Xigbar. Rated mature for language and suggestiveness, insinuated XigLarx.
Xigbar and Larxene are property of Square Enix and Disney.]
Shocking Space
Number Two walked leisurely into the Gray Area and plopped down next to the Organization's token female...or at least the Organization's token legal female. "How's our little lady doing this fine morning?" asked Xigbar, crossing one leg over the other.
The blonde stiffened and glanced up at him, glaring slightly. "...Can I help you, old man?" she asked. Static crackled around her in warning. After all, Xigbar was the number two, and that merited some kind of respect...kind of.
"Nothing, nothing, just...looking to relax for a while," shrugged the Freeshooter, staring Larxene down with his good eye. He felt the static make the hair on the back of his neck stand on end and he grinned. That was one of the few things he liked about Larxene: Xemnas had been reluctant to bring in a woman, but this one had some balls, probably a lot more brazen than some of the other members.
Her green eyes narrowed at the older man. He hadn't made a retort, and that made Larxene suspicious. Come to it, what was he even doing up this early? She set aside her Marquis De Sade novel, The 120 Days of Sodom, and moved back away from him. "Well, you don't have to do it here."
"And why not, Princess?" he mocked in his raspy chuckle. He didn't move, however—he didn't want to appear threatening, or rather, he just wanted Larxene to seem like she was being overly paranoid. "I can rest here whenever I damn well please." He peered over at the book she was reading. "That's a hefty one you've got there," he noted, "I read it once."
"You can read?" the blonde quipped back at him snarkily. "Don't call me Princess." Regardless of the fact that she did think of herself that highly, she wasn't dumb or blonde enough to think that Xigbar meant it in any way even approaching nice—not that she cared, of course.
"Really? Seems like you'd be the type to enjoy that type of attention," shrugged the other, leaning back against the gray couch and shutting his eyes, "I guess I'll have to find someone else to help me mess with the others. I heard there's been a little body-swap incident."
"...There's a what?" Larxene stopped herself right before making another snide comment; curiosity at what was happening had secured her attention.
Xigbar sarcastically shook his head and waved off the comment. "No, no, I won't bother you and your little book. I know you're not interested."
"Oh, don't play that game with me. I'll shock the information out of you, if I have to."
"So scared, hun," Xigbar laughed, "I've had worse crap happen to me." He pointed at the eyepatch he wore.
"Yes, and would you like to lose your other eyeball, grandpa?" A sneer twisted across her otherwise attractive features, and she cackled cruelly.
"Unless you'd like to be 86'd for treason," retorted the man, "Then again, I've heard some theories about shock therapy." Another grin slid over the marksman's features as he stared at the girl who was quite nearly half his age.
"What treason is there in damaging another member? I'm not killing you, certainly." Softly, she closed the book and moved closer, still curious.
"It still counts as deliberately harming a superior member, but whatever," he smirked, inwardly pleased that he had gotten her to move closer. He was tempted to pull her the rest of the way in and plant a nice one on her lips just to see her reaction, but Xigbar held back, at least for now. "So, apparently there's been a switcharoo, but we don't know what happened," Two explained, "Normally I'd blame it on another one of Vexen's little fuck-ups, but believe it or not, he's not the one to blame. Spooky, eh?"
"I'm going to say he's still responsible. Everything is Vexen's fault, one way or another." She eyed him suspiciously, ready to shock him as hard as possible if he tried anything. "Who is switched with who?"
"Well," Xigbar began, "From what I know, Captain Flowerfag is in Luxord's body, and vice-versa. Not sure who else was affected." He raised an eyebrow at Larxene's odd look. "Any reason for the dirty looks this time?"
"You're still here, and alive." That was reason enough. "...Ew...that nasty Brit is in Mar-Mar's body? Ugh. I'll have to remind him not to get fresh again, then."
"And you still have to deal with my shit as long as I'm here," Xigbar snickered, still grinning. "You feel like messing with 'em for a bit? Luxord's probably wondering why his masculinity's gone down the crapper."
"He didn't have any manliness to begin with, unlike y—Xaldin." Larxene sneered again, and laughed softly. "However, as things are the way they are, I intend to have a little fun."
"Caught that, sweetie." Xigbar groaned and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees. "But this I can deal with, at least until Vexen finds out how to fix this."
"And what if you'd been body-swapped?" Green eyes glanced over him, looking for wavering, or any kind of plotting look.
"Wouldn't I have found out by now?"
"One would think." Larxene moved back, picking up her book again, and picking up where she'd left off.
It is when I see others degraded that I rejoice knowing it is better to be me than the scum of the people, she read quietly to herself, Whenever men are equal, without that difference, happiness cannot exist. So you wouldn't aid the humble, the unhappy. In all the world no voluptuousness flatters the senses more than social privilege.
Another pause ensued. "So how are those rich, sadistic, little psycho Frenchies doing?" he asked, "Are they busy jacking off to someone being racked?"
"Not at the moment." She turned a page quietly, refusing to look up at him.
"Really? Then what's going on if they're not?" Xigbar pressed, pushing the book down with one finger and leaning in as if to peek over at the text.
Nearly immediately, she stiffened and, gathering a charge in her hand, slapped him. "Get off, one-eye."
Xigbar did get off, since he had dodged and teleported upside-down about four feet above the girl. "Hey! I was touching your book with one finger," he said, crossing his arms, "I swear, you're bitchier than Zexion when he's reading." He shook his head, his ponytail swishing.
Even pissier now that she hadn't been able to slap or shock him, the blonde glared ever more fiercely up at him. "Look. Be useful or go away before I light this room up like the sun and fry your old ass."
Shrugging again, Xigbar proceeded to walk around on the ceiling, whistling some aimless, off-key melody.
"Don't think that just because you're up there, I can't get you. These knives are throwable."
"Listen. You told me to get away, and I did," said Xigbar, who was halfway across the room, albeit on the ceiling.
Huffing quietly at the fact that Xigbar was actually right, the blonde woman returned to her book quietly, attempting to ignore him.
"See? I can be a good boy and listen," Xigbar teased, pacing along the ceiling and down the walls, "Even if I don't have to."
"No, you don't have to. And I don't have to not electrocute you." A quiet sneer formed at the "good boy" comment, and she resisted making a snide remark about how he hadn't been a boy for around fifty years.
"Now why would you wanna do that to little ol' me?" Xigbar teased, walking across the floor again, crossing in front of Larxene. His smile rivaled hers; he always did like messing with people and employing his usual charm.
Larxene glanced up from her book again, not bothering to close it. "You are in my personal space." Irritation and something else gleamed in her eyes.
"Am I?" he retorted, snapping his fingers, and with that the book snapped shut in her lap. "I thought you would've gotten used to this by now. You do share this place with twelve other guys, y'know."
She glanced down at the book, then glared up at him. "You made me lose my place," the blonde hissed quietly. Static crackled around her threateningly.
"That a problem? You might wanna invest in a bookmark."
"Is there something you need, old man, or are you just being an ass to be an ass?"
"Now what gave you that idea?"
"I don't know, maybe that you're annoying me." She gave him a nasty look that implied murder was imminent.
"Oh no, I'm getting the not-too-pretty face aimed at me," he drawled, feeling his ponytail stand on end. "Well, if that's how you're gonna be..." The book rocketed out of Larxene's grasp and stuck to the ceiling as if it were the ground.
More than indignant at having her book torn away from her, Larxene leaned forward and slapped him, in another attempt to shock the man. "Don't do that!"
Xigbar laughed in return, holding the arm of the couch to catch his balance. "What? You never seen something fall up before?" He shook his head to clear his temporarily frazzled mind; it hurt briefly, but it was nothing too bad as of yet.
Grinning at the success of her attempt, she pulled her hand back again. Unless he did something to surprise her, which Larxene doubted, he'd get another resounding slap. "Not when you didn't do it."
Not paying attention, the sharpshooter ran a hand over his hair to smooth it back down. "That was different," he smirked, plopping down on the couch like he had when their conversation started, "It woke me up a little."
"Care to be woken up a little more, old man?" She grinned wider, raising it in a not quite threatening manner.
In a flash, Xigbar had disappeared and reappeared on the ceiling, holding Larxene's book. "See, I thought you wanted this back, lightning-bug," the man taunted, flipping through as if reading it.
"Give that back right now!" Her thin patience was wearing even thinner, and Larxene began to consider just lighting up the entire room before another way to get it back dawned on her. "...Please?"
"That's a new one outta your mouth," he said as he walked upside-down through the air, as if on an invisible ramp leading down toward the floor. He held the book out to her, just out of her reach. "Here ya go."
She reached for the book slowly, not quite trusting him not to pull some slick move. What he'd actually do however, she didn't know.
"Oh come on, are you seriously afraid of a book?" Xigbar asked, jumping and lightly landing right side up on the floor. "Go ahead, I'm giving it to you. Take it."
"And what are you going to do when I take it?" She continued to glare at him with distrust.
"Absolutely nothing," he shrugged. "Hey, you know what?" he covered his remaining eye with his free hand. "Now I can't see what you're doing. Okay? Here's your book."
Snatching the book away from him, Larxene took a moment to observe him, since his eye was covered. Curiously, she leaned towards the older man.
Feeling the book being taken away, Xigbar let his hand drop from his face. However, he slowly opened his eye. "What are you lookin' at, missy?" he smirked, his voice soft yet always as playful as ever.
Embarrassed at being caught, she did the first thing that popped into her mind: leaned even more forward and kissed him.
Xigbar's eye closed again and he smiled to himself over his small triumph. His hand settled on the small of her back as he returned the kiss and felt how soft and plump her lips were.
Upon realizing what she was doing, however, she promptly slapped him and pulled back.
Xigbar staggered to the side a step or two, using a table to catch himself. "Changed your mind, I guess?" he grinned while rubbing the tingling spot on his cheek.
"Moment of weakness. Doesn't mean a thing. Effectively, never happened," she hissed up at him, not liking that grin at all.
"Yeah, weakness," he replied, shaking his head and walking to stand a little closer to her than she would have deemed comfortable. "You would have a moment of weakness for a scarred old guy like me? Never knew you were into that sorta thing."
The comment caught Larxene off-guard. Why had she had such a trifling, passing thought? It almost worried her, almost. "...Tch. None of your business why I would or not."
"Really? I think it is my business," he replied, taking another step closer. "After all, you did kiss me, sweetheart."
"Yes, and then I slapped you away. What's your point?" She briefly considered summoning one of her kunai, but that would only end badly.
"I just want to know what was running through your mind, that's all," he shrugged, leaning down a bit. "So tell me; it can't hurt."
"What, you mean you want the truth from me? Is that it?"
"Yeah sure, why not," he said, rolling his eyes impatiently.
"Then I don't know. Happy?" She snickered up at him smugly and leaned back.
He leaned down farther still, the grin returning. "No."
"Pity," the word was nearly spat, with a subtle loathing. "Why not?"
"Because I think you're hiding something. Please?" He asked her with fake politeness, trying and deliberately failing to sound adorable.
"...That's a creepy voice. Don't ever use it again." Resisting the urge to slap him yet again, Larxene moved further away.
He took a step forward. "I could say that your voice is creepy, but I know you can't help the fact that you sound like you regularly suck helium. Oops."
Green eyes narrowed to slits. "Old bastard!" Larxene hissed at him once more, standing abruptly. "I'm going back to my room."
"Ooh, that hurt," he mocked before laughing loudly.
Another wave of static crackling around her, Larxene opened a portal to head back to her own room.
Xigbar, now alone in the great room, sat back down and stretched out on the couch. "I'll get you eventually, little lightning-bug...don't you worry..."